Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Banshees (and thank you Grey's Anatomy)
So I was going to attempt to describe what occurred over the course of Christmas weekend with my 14 month old triplets entering their first running around simultaneously phase which happened to coincide with our stay at the VERY non-baby proofed family farm house in Louisiana. I felt the best way to describe the experience was to say they were running around all weekend like banshees. I don't know if your family uses this expression but I grew up with it - for example, my mom would say that my brother ran around the house "like a banshee."
But before I posted my hilarious story for the blogosphere I thought it might be prudent to actually look up the word banshee & figure out what the heck a banshee is and why my mom used it. Well, it turns out it's this pretty terrible Irish mythological creature who was an omen of death and wailed. Somehow this word made it into the English lexicon as urban slang for nutty behaviour. Seriously? This is all I could think - seriously? How the heck did my little momma, wife and daughter of a minister, end up using this pretty creepy term to describe hyperactive children behaviour? I certainly have no interest in using it in my jargon anymore.
This, in my streams of consciousness mentality (which I will not subject you to often because it truly is a train wreck of an experience), led me to think - why was my first thought, "Seriously?" In fact, my first thought was "seriously?" at least a dozen times this weekend. Freely given parenting advice from the in-laws - "seriously, have you had 14 mo old triplets?" My husband deciding after the first day at the farm we'd leave earlier than we'd originally planned - "seriously, what do you think I've been telling you about taking toddling triplets to a very uncontained space?" My youngest laughing so hard during his Christmas Eve bath that he literally laughed the poop right out of himself - "seriously, you are freakin' hysterical!" Quickly followed up with, "seriously, on top of everything now I have to disinfect all our bath toys and bathtub?"
This led me to my above-titled gratitude for Grey's Anatomy. If you are not a fan of the show, then you probably don't utter "seriously" in every other thought you have during the day. Even my mom (also a fan) says it all the time. What did we do before Grey's Anatomy? What word could possibly appropriately capture that emotion if Meredith Grey had not popularized the term, "seriously?" I mean, seriously, what word did I use - I guess I used "really." "Really - have you had 14 mo old triplets?" Do you see what I mean, this does not have the same ring AT ALL! What else could we use? My mind is a blank. This term is absolutely PERFECT for almost every single emotion that you need to begin with an emphatic punctuation.
So drop the use of the term banshee and start using seriously if you don't already use it regularly. Except, now what will we replace the term banshee with? "Running around like a _________....." "Screaming like a ____________....." Maybe I'll write the creators of Grey's and see if they can come up with a term for that too.
But before I posted my hilarious story for the blogosphere I thought it might be prudent to actually look up the word banshee & figure out what the heck a banshee is and why my mom used it. Well, it turns out it's this pretty terrible Irish mythological creature who was an omen of death and wailed. Somehow this word made it into the English lexicon as urban slang for nutty behaviour. Seriously? This is all I could think - seriously? How the heck did my little momma, wife and daughter of a minister, end up using this pretty creepy term to describe hyperactive children behaviour? I certainly have no interest in using it in my jargon anymore.
This, in my streams of consciousness mentality (which I will not subject you to often because it truly is a train wreck of an experience), led me to think - why was my first thought, "Seriously?" In fact, my first thought was "seriously?" at least a dozen times this weekend. Freely given parenting advice from the in-laws - "seriously, have you had 14 mo old triplets?" My husband deciding after the first day at the farm we'd leave earlier than we'd originally planned - "seriously, what do you think I've been telling you about taking toddling triplets to a very uncontained space?" My youngest laughing so hard during his Christmas Eve bath that he literally laughed the poop right out of himself - "seriously, you are freakin' hysterical!" Quickly followed up with, "seriously, on top of everything now I have to disinfect all our bath toys and bathtub?"
This led me to my above-titled gratitude for Grey's Anatomy. If you are not a fan of the show, then you probably don't utter "seriously" in every other thought you have during the day. Even my mom (also a fan) says it all the time. What did we do before Grey's Anatomy? What word could possibly appropriately capture that emotion if Meredith Grey had not popularized the term, "seriously?" I mean, seriously, what word did I use - I guess I used "really." "Really - have you had 14 mo old triplets?" Do you see what I mean, this does not have the same ring AT ALL! What else could we use? My mind is a blank. This term is absolutely PERFECT for almost every single emotion that you need to begin with an emphatic punctuation.
So drop the use of the term banshee and start using seriously if you don't already use it regularly. Except, now what will we replace the term banshee with? "Running around like a _________....." "Screaming like a ____________....." Maybe I'll write the creators of Grey's and see if they can come up with a term for that too.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Screaming...
Kids rock! They are also remarkably smart for not being particularly capable of speaking (aside from the occasional quack quack, gobble gobble). My kids in particular (are geniuses, not incapable of speaking). As I'm sure any momma reading this knows, you stand back and watch your child do something and think, "seriously, you are the smartest ____[insert age] year old to have ever walked the Earth!" You don't share this information with other mothers because you would hate for them to feel inferior. But you walk along, much like Bridget Jones said of smug marrieds, smug in the knowledge that you have spawned itty bitty bits of fabulousness.
What is it for your kids? Talking, counting, reading, dancing, running........I could go on with a list for days. Luckily for me, I have triplets. 14 month old geniuses. And because they are all so different, they are each genius in their own way. The little lady is all rhythm and motion and gymnastic stunts that would stand your hair on end. The eldest can figure out any toy you give to him that day and will not stop until he understands its inner workings. And the baby, despite being our comic relief, knows his colors and shapes and wants to learn all the time.
But last night it dawned on me that they are sometimes very bright in ways that we don't traditionally recognize. My youngest screamed and cried hysterically last night. First it was before dinner about 6 pm and I figured he either just missed his daddy or was hungry/sleepy/etc. After dinner, it subsided and he went to bed. But within an hour he was up screaming and crying hysterically again. Seriously, this toddler was really upset about something. He wasn't sick - no fever or lack of eating. He'd taken his naps that day. Played regularly. Gone to the bathroom. But even with my husband home and rocking him (he's his favorite), he could not be consoled. Meanwhile, his uncontainable loudness woke the other two who also began crying, and I frantically tried to soothe them back to sleep. Upon achieving mild success, I raced to our bedroom where my husband was trying everything he could to calm the little man down. Hoping change would work, I scooped him up and showed him, very energetically, the ducks outside mommy and daddy's bedroom door (long story, he loves ducks so my husband has duck decoys floating in our pool which are the source of constant amusement). Then I wrapped him in a blanket and walked him outside to fetch the outdoor stuffed duck we play with in the swings. He finally began to calm. And then I sang to him in our room, and laid with him in our bed, and eventually (after over half an hour) transferred him to a pack-and-play at the foot of our bed in case he became distraught again.
Long story you say, this does not make your child a genius. While it may not make my child in particular a genius, it does make children geniuses. They can scream. They scream in defiance. Scream in pain. Scream in anguish. Scream when they REALLY need your attention. Scream when they want to be held. But uniformly they scream until they have your attention and you fix their pain.
When does the screaming stop? At what age? When do we feel constrained by society to stop screaming? And to take it even a step further, to stop acknowledging or letting others acknowledge that we are hurting. I mean there's exceptions in society for death or certain dramatic crises. But, by and large, we have all been silenced.
It is the anti-thesis of genius to stifle your pain, your suffering, your need to be held - to stuff it and bear it alone.
Can't you just hear Job screaming when he uttered, "May the day of my birth perish, and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’ That day—may it turn to darkness; may God above not care about it; may no light shine on it. May gloom and utter darkness claim it once more; may a cloud settle over it; may blackness overwhelm it. That night—may thick darkness seize it; may it not be included among the days of the year nor be entered in any of the months."
Can't you hear David? "Why, LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?"
Daniel? "Therefore the curses and sworn judgments written in the Law of Moses, the servant of God, have been poured out on us, because we have sinned against you. You have fulfilled the words spoken against us and against our rulers by bringing on us great disaster. Under the whole heaven nothing has ever been done like what has been done to Jerusalem."
Jesus? "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
During the next season of your suffering, or mine, and Lord willing it is far off, pray we won't feel ashamed to scream. Scream to the Savior. Cry out in a loud voice. Even if there are no words, even if the pain can't be contained in phrases or syllables, that has never stopped a parent from giving comfort to her child before and I feel certain it won't stop our Father. No matter where you are in your relationship, you are His, created and birthed by Him:
Psalm 86 - For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.
Isaiah 12 - Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me.
Psalm 71 - Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.
What is it for your kids? Talking, counting, reading, dancing, running........I could go on with a list for days. Luckily for me, I have triplets. 14 month old geniuses. And because they are all so different, they are each genius in their own way. The little lady is all rhythm and motion and gymnastic stunts that would stand your hair on end. The eldest can figure out any toy you give to him that day and will not stop until he understands its inner workings. And the baby, despite being our comic relief, knows his colors and shapes and wants to learn all the time.
But last night it dawned on me that they are sometimes very bright in ways that we don't traditionally recognize. My youngest screamed and cried hysterically last night. First it was before dinner about 6 pm and I figured he either just missed his daddy or was hungry/sleepy/etc. After dinner, it subsided and he went to bed. But within an hour he was up screaming and crying hysterically again. Seriously, this toddler was really upset about something. He wasn't sick - no fever or lack of eating. He'd taken his naps that day. Played regularly. Gone to the bathroom. But even with my husband home and rocking him (he's his favorite), he could not be consoled. Meanwhile, his uncontainable loudness woke the other two who also began crying, and I frantically tried to soothe them back to sleep. Upon achieving mild success, I raced to our bedroom where my husband was trying everything he could to calm the little man down. Hoping change would work, I scooped him up and showed him, very energetically, the ducks outside mommy and daddy's bedroom door (long story, he loves ducks so my husband has duck decoys floating in our pool which are the source of constant amusement). Then I wrapped him in a blanket and walked him outside to fetch the outdoor stuffed duck we play with in the swings. He finally began to calm. And then I sang to him in our room, and laid with him in our bed, and eventually (after over half an hour) transferred him to a pack-and-play at the foot of our bed in case he became distraught again.
Long story you say, this does not make your child a genius. While it may not make my child in particular a genius, it does make children geniuses. They can scream. They scream in defiance. Scream in pain. Scream in anguish. Scream when they REALLY need your attention. Scream when they want to be held. But uniformly they scream until they have your attention and you fix their pain.
When does the screaming stop? At what age? When do we feel constrained by society to stop screaming? And to take it even a step further, to stop acknowledging or letting others acknowledge that we are hurting. I mean there's exceptions in society for death or certain dramatic crises. But, by and large, we have all been silenced.
It is the anti-thesis of genius to stifle your pain, your suffering, your need to be held - to stuff it and bear it alone.
Can't you just hear Job screaming when he uttered, "May the day of my birth perish, and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’ That day—may it turn to darkness; may God above not care about it; may no light shine on it. May gloom and utter darkness claim it once more; may a cloud settle over it; may blackness overwhelm it. That night—may thick darkness seize it; may it not be included among the days of the year nor be entered in any of the months."
Can't you hear David? "Why, LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?"
Daniel? "Therefore the curses and sworn judgments written in the Law of Moses, the servant of God, have been poured out on us, because we have sinned against you. You have fulfilled the words spoken against us and against our rulers by bringing on us great disaster. Under the whole heaven nothing has ever been done like what has been done to Jerusalem."
Jesus? "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
During the next season of your suffering, or mine, and Lord willing it is far off, pray we won't feel ashamed to scream. Scream to the Savior. Cry out in a loud voice. Even if there are no words, even if the pain can't be contained in phrases or syllables, that has never stopped a parent from giving comfort to her child before and I feel certain it won't stop our Father. No matter where you are in your relationship, you are His, created and birthed by Him:
Psalm 86 - For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.
Isaiah 12 - Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me.
Psalm 71 - Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once more.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Mustard Seeds
A very dear friend of mine is going through a very dark storm right now. Her sweet precious 4 year old has a very aggressive cancer. Despite all my weeks in the hospital with our babies, this is a new kind of trauma that I can't imagine. It is prolonged. It wreaks havoc even outside of the chemo treatments. And it wears you down to a state where you are scared to ask for miracles for fear that God might disappoint you - and then what? What would happen to all those years of faith if He didn't intervene like you asked?
I understand your faith being tested. I have been intimately acquainted with your hopes being dashed and dark news greeting you like a hail storm. And while I have no words of wisdom for those going through a cancer storm with a child, I do know that the Lord understands that we are human (God made us after all) and does not expect us to blithely dance through trauma unaffected and sunnily optimistic. Our faith may feel small, but He tells us that small faith can do big things! My mom gave me a mustard seed encased in a glass bead dangling from a gold chain which I wore through much of my childhood. It was supposed to be an ever present reminder that even though sometimes our faith feels SO small to us, God can use our small faith to do big things. The God who multiplied 5 loaves and 2 fish, the God who raised Lazarus from the dead, the God who walked on water and calmed the storms WANTS to do big things. He's a moving mountains kind of a God. And when that mountain stands between you and survival, it's so hard to believe it will move and it's so scary to ask. But it CAN move. So open your palm, imagine that teeny tiny mustard seed, and believe in a God of miracles.
Matthew 17: "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
http://jesusbling.blogspot.com/
I understand your faith being tested. I have been intimately acquainted with your hopes being dashed and dark news greeting you like a hail storm. And while I have no words of wisdom for those going through a cancer storm with a child, I do know that the Lord understands that we are human (God made us after all) and does not expect us to blithely dance through trauma unaffected and sunnily optimistic. Our faith may feel small, but He tells us that small faith can do big things! My mom gave me a mustard seed encased in a glass bead dangling from a gold chain which I wore through much of my childhood. It was supposed to be an ever present reminder that even though sometimes our faith feels SO small to us, God can use our small faith to do big things. The God who multiplied 5 loaves and 2 fish, the God who raised Lazarus from the dead, the God who walked on water and calmed the storms WANTS to do big things. He's a moving mountains kind of a God. And when that mountain stands between you and survival, it's so hard to believe it will move and it's so scary to ask. But it CAN move. So open your palm, imagine that teeny tiny mustard seed, and believe in a God of miracles.
Matthew 17: "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
http://jesusbling.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Words and Germs
Funny v. reality. That is my life. Intermittently hysterically funny and unfunnily real.
In the funny category - the thinking elder statesman of my children is now a mimic. As a result of that, we are getting the following words as he turns 14 mos this week - quack quack, gobble gobble, duck, deer, mama, dada, cup, cog, thank you, okay, and what I believe is "more." He's also mastered several of our sign language signs, which certainly includes more (and ball!). I, of course, jump around and cheer like a banshee each time he utters one of these new words which thrills him to no end - they all love having a cheering section but to have the attention so singularly lavished when it's generally divided is (I believe) his biggest incentive for an expanding vocabulary.
In the not even remotely funny category - THREE SICK KIDS all weekend after Thanksgiving. Last Thanksgiving, with the babies not even two months, we were on lock down in our house. However, this year was the full Vincent family Thanksgiving melee complete with seven school aged cousins, aka speedy germ factories. So promptly on Friday afternoon, 24 hours after exposure, I had three sick kids and a husband out of town. Fevers, coughs, crying, and desperate needs to be held were all a part of the show. Because one cough was so bad I took 2 of the 3 to the doctor yesterday missing half of work. But kids are like cars. They never make their noises when you take them in. So while I'm happy to have my children pronounced clear from chest or sinus infections, they're still coughing and crying and generally not feeling so hot. The bubble boy may have been on to something...........
In the funny category - the thinking elder statesman of my children is now a mimic. As a result of that, we are getting the following words as he turns 14 mos this week - quack quack, gobble gobble, duck, deer, mama, dada, cup, cog, thank you, okay, and what I believe is "more." He's also mastered several of our sign language signs, which certainly includes more (and ball!). I, of course, jump around and cheer like a banshee each time he utters one of these new words which thrills him to no end - they all love having a cheering section but to have the attention so singularly lavished when it's generally divided is (I believe) his biggest incentive for an expanding vocabulary.
In the not even remotely funny category - THREE SICK KIDS all weekend after Thanksgiving. Last Thanksgiving, with the babies not even two months, we were on lock down in our house. However, this year was the full Vincent family Thanksgiving melee complete with seven school aged cousins, aka speedy germ factories. So promptly on Friday afternoon, 24 hours after exposure, I had three sick kids and a husband out of town. Fevers, coughs, crying, and desperate needs to be held were all a part of the show. Because one cough was so bad I took 2 of the 3 to the doctor yesterday missing half of work. But kids are like cars. They never make their noises when you take them in. So while I'm happy to have my children pronounced clear from chest or sinus infections, they're still coughing and crying and generally not feeling so hot. The bubble boy may have been on to something...........
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
So many firsts!
The wizened sage, our eldest, has learned how to mimic at 13 months. This weekend we got THREE new "mimicked" words - after we practiced what the duck said, he said, clear as a bell, "quack, quack." The following day, our turkey noises were met with his, "gobble, gobble." And then yesterday morning, as I was updating the nanny before I left for work, he agreed with me as he clearly said, "okay." Words! It's just amazing. In addition to all that fun, all three are walking distances - they are not yet exclusively walking, they do some crawling some walking, but they ARE walking - from Bray to me, from me to my mom, etc. And they're just so proud of themselves. Their chest puffs out, they come racing toward me full tilt, and then throw their arms around your neck upon arrival still standing! And I'm left with a fabulous combined sensation of wanting to laugh and applaud. If that were not enough, the youngest knows his colors - at 13 months! Saturday I told him to get the red ball (we have blue, red, green and yellow boxes w/different objects of that color inside) and he crawled right over & plucked the red ball out. Lest I think it was a one off, the following day, I told him to get me the red apple, and low and behold, out he plucked the red apple! What pure joy over such small victories! Words. Steps. Knowledge. Gifts, all three.
Where does that get lost? When do we start using words that cause pain instead of joy? When do we start running in the wrong direction instead of racing toward a parent waiting with outstretched arms. Why do we let our mind atrophy, or worse, use our knowledge for bad instead of good? I can't pinpoint it. But I know I'm guilty of it. Currently guilty of it. I've been so angry at someone, and I'm not really much for anger, that I'm doing all three - using my intellect to construct words that would hurt and I'm hurtling away from my Heavenly Father who would have such better wisdom and guidance for me if only I was headed in the right direction. And I know I'm headed in the wrong direction, but it's like getting a train to u-turn to get me headed back to the One who could straighten this out, or at least provide me with peace and restraint.
I hope for myself, and any of you struggling with the same issue, we will see in our children (or other children) the ability to speak and walk and think in joyful, life-affirming ways and carry that with us as a reminder when we go hurtling off in the wrong direction using our feet or our mouths or our brains to deliver pain instead of joy.
Where does that get lost? When do we start using words that cause pain instead of joy? When do we start running in the wrong direction instead of racing toward a parent waiting with outstretched arms. Why do we let our mind atrophy, or worse, use our knowledge for bad instead of good? I can't pinpoint it. But I know I'm guilty of it. Currently guilty of it. I've been so angry at someone, and I'm not really much for anger, that I'm doing all three - using my intellect to construct words that would hurt and I'm hurtling away from my Heavenly Father who would have such better wisdom and guidance for me if only I was headed in the right direction. And I know I'm headed in the wrong direction, but it's like getting a train to u-turn to get me headed back to the One who could straighten this out, or at least provide me with peace and restraint.
I hope for myself, and any of you struggling with the same issue, we will see in our children (or other children) the ability to speak and walk and think in joyful, life-affirming ways and carry that with us as a reminder when we go hurtling off in the wrong direction using our feet or our mouths or our brains to deliver pain instead of joy.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Hilarity!
I think I must write on Mondays because (a) I'm back at the office & can actually turn on the computer, and (b) the weekends are filled with hilarity now. Seriously, I have enough anecdotes to last me til their 18th birthdays from just ONE weekend!
I plan to download pictures this week for Wordless Wednesdays since words really can't communicate the highlights like pictures (or videos) can, but here's the high points:
1. As I mentioned last week, our dainty dame is now fighting back when the boys come to push her off her rocking dog or steal her puzzle pieces. She's clearly learned biting from Mr. Chunky (what the heck do you do about that w/a 13 mo old?), but unlike the boys, she only has one half of one tooth. So it's funnier than anything else - her favorite retaliation is to bite your nose, or swallow it whole, I'm not sure what she's attempting. In either event, my mom, husband, myself, and both the boys have had their noses gobbled by the little lady. In addition, she's walking across half the play room, but really she wants to run, so she goes as fast as her legs will carry her at a 45 degree angle tilted forward until she tumbles. This maneuver has to been seen to be appreciated.
2. My eldest, the thinker and engineer, has now turned into Mr. Clingy. I'm thinking about taping Bounce around his hands just to unstick him from me or anyone else that he deems his favorite for the day. Fascinating evolution since he was the most distant and comfortable playing alone in the early months. Now he is ATTACHED. He is also saying deer because they are all absolutely enthralled with Bray's deer hanging from the play room (previously our den). We pick them up so they can pet them, & now they want to pet the deer every time we pick them up. But he's also fascinated with anything up high - so now we touch fans, lights (watch out, they're hot), pictures, along w/the three deer.
3. And the baby. Well, I feel bad for him that he was born a triplet because he needs more attention than a triplet gets. He, and I'm not using this word loosely, NEEDS attention from the adults in the room. Particularly me, Bray and my mom. If he's not getting enough attention, he'll do something he knows he's not supposed to so we'll focus on him. Not only will he individually go and eat a shoe or try to get in a drawer which is off limits, but if he even HEARS me telling another one "no" (which I realize you're not supposed to say, and you should just redirect, but honestly, sometimes "no" just comes out), he will speed crawl over and do whatever it is the other ones are getting in trouble for so HE can be the focus of the discipline. Oh, and he laughs maniacally while doing said misdeed. Seriously throws he head back & laughs w/his whole body. I have to bite a hole through my tongue just to keep from laughing right along with him. (It's not like he's downing poison, he's trying to put my husband's flip flop in his mouth......) He knows he's cute and funny so I'm going to have to keep an eye on him.
All in all, in our house, you need to go to work to rest. It's mayhem. But they are learning so much, so fast, and it's fascinating to watch (they figured out how to put the right shapes in the puzzles this weekend - really cool!). But they wipe me out and remind me why folks used to have kids when they were younger :)
I plan to download pictures this week for Wordless Wednesdays since words really can't communicate the highlights like pictures (or videos) can, but here's the high points:
1. As I mentioned last week, our dainty dame is now fighting back when the boys come to push her off her rocking dog or steal her puzzle pieces. She's clearly learned biting from Mr. Chunky (what the heck do you do about that w/a 13 mo old?), but unlike the boys, she only has one half of one tooth. So it's funnier than anything else - her favorite retaliation is to bite your nose, or swallow it whole, I'm not sure what she's attempting. In either event, my mom, husband, myself, and both the boys have had their noses gobbled by the little lady. In addition, she's walking across half the play room, but really she wants to run, so she goes as fast as her legs will carry her at a 45 degree angle tilted forward until she tumbles. This maneuver has to been seen to be appreciated.
2. My eldest, the thinker and engineer, has now turned into Mr. Clingy. I'm thinking about taping Bounce around his hands just to unstick him from me or anyone else that he deems his favorite for the day. Fascinating evolution since he was the most distant and comfortable playing alone in the early months. Now he is ATTACHED. He is also saying deer because they are all absolutely enthralled with Bray's deer hanging from the play room (previously our den). We pick them up so they can pet them, & now they want to pet the deer every time we pick them up. But he's also fascinated with anything up high - so now we touch fans, lights (watch out, they're hot), pictures, along w/the three deer.
3. And the baby. Well, I feel bad for him that he was born a triplet because he needs more attention than a triplet gets. He, and I'm not using this word loosely, NEEDS attention from the adults in the room. Particularly me, Bray and my mom. If he's not getting enough attention, he'll do something he knows he's not supposed to so we'll focus on him. Not only will he individually go and eat a shoe or try to get in a drawer which is off limits, but if he even HEARS me telling another one "no" (which I realize you're not supposed to say, and you should just redirect, but honestly, sometimes "no" just comes out), he will speed crawl over and do whatever it is the other ones are getting in trouble for so HE can be the focus of the discipline. Oh, and he laughs maniacally while doing said misdeed. Seriously throws he head back & laughs w/his whole body. I have to bite a hole through my tongue just to keep from laughing right along with him. (It's not like he's downing poison, he's trying to put my husband's flip flop in his mouth......) He knows he's cute and funny so I'm going to have to keep an eye on him.
All in all, in our house, you need to go to work to rest. It's mayhem. But they are learning so much, so fast, and it's fascinating to watch (they figured out how to put the right shapes in the puzzles this weekend - really cool!). But they wipe me out and remind me why folks used to have kids when they were younger :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Cavities
This morning I got a cavity filled. I was relaxing in the dentist chair last week for my semi-annual teeth cleaning when she issued the verdict - you need a filling. So this morning I got that lovely numbing needle injected into my cheek and my tooth is now filled (I rewarded myself for the ordeal w/a mini peppermint patty, one point on Weight Watchers, but don't tell my dentist). As a result of this early morning appointment, I found myself with the entire right half of my face completely numb. My eye socket was even numb! I have to say, I've never had numbness be quite that pervasive. And I felt very bizarre all morning. (Now I'm just stuck with a dull headache.)
But it got me thinking. Especially since I've been doing a lot of thinking about marriage lately. I think some of us are walking around with half numb marriages. We didn't practice good preventative health, so our marriages got a little cavity. We let it go, and the cavity got bigger. And then, after fighting so long without remedying the marriage cavity, we finally go numb. Have you done that - shut down over an issue you can't bear to fix? Or maybe you think it's too far gone to fix? I've been there. After the initial pains from fighting, particularly over a recurring issue, I go numb. I just stop feeling. And personally, I think that's a dangerous place to be in a marriage. If you're numb, you've stopped wanting to FIX the cavity, then you are speeding down a slippery slope.
So what do you do if you're there? First, recognize you can only do the work for one person. I am responsible for what I do in my marriage; I can not control anything or anyone else. Second, do whatever it takes to get yourself "unnumb" - pinch, slap, shock yourself into waking up and participating in the issues that confront your relationship. Third, believe the cavity can be fixed but recognize it requires a doctor. God is the best dentist around (out of all the names we call God, I wonder if this is the first time He's been referred to as a dentist - in the best possible way). Sometimes it's easier to disengage that to open ourselves up to feeling pain. But feeling the pain, and working to the other side, to healing, is the only long term remedy. Trust that if you are committed, and you seek God's wisdom, He will grant it and guard you through the process.
Proverbs 2
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.
But it got me thinking. Especially since I've been doing a lot of thinking about marriage lately. I think some of us are walking around with half numb marriages. We didn't practice good preventative health, so our marriages got a little cavity. We let it go, and the cavity got bigger. And then, after fighting so long without remedying the marriage cavity, we finally go numb. Have you done that - shut down over an issue you can't bear to fix? Or maybe you think it's too far gone to fix? I've been there. After the initial pains from fighting, particularly over a recurring issue, I go numb. I just stop feeling. And personally, I think that's a dangerous place to be in a marriage. If you're numb, you've stopped wanting to FIX the cavity, then you are speeding down a slippery slope.
So what do you do if you're there? First, recognize you can only do the work for one person. I am responsible for what I do in my marriage; I can not control anything or anyone else. Second, do whatever it takes to get yourself "unnumb" - pinch, slap, shock yourself into waking up and participating in the issues that confront your relationship. Third, believe the cavity can be fixed but recognize it requires a doctor. God is the best dentist around (out of all the names we call God, I wonder if this is the first time He's been referred to as a dentist - in the best possible way). Sometimes it's easier to disengage that to open ourselves up to feeling pain. But feeling the pain, and working to the other side, to healing, is the only long term remedy. Trust that if you are committed, and you seek God's wisdom, He will grant it and guard you through the process.
Proverbs 2
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.
Monday, November 8, 2010
She's fighting back, FINALLY!
One thing that has worried me lately is the fact that the boys are so much more aggressive than our little lady and she just gets run over. She'd recently just been turning the other direction and dropping her toy or getting off of the horse if the boys even approached her. She was NOT going to get into it with them because they could take her out! Well I don't want her to miss out on all the good toys (or her big blue dog - her fav riding toy) so I tell her, stay put, fight back, it's yours, and then I try to keep the boys out of her immediate reach for a few minutes so she gets a little peace. (This is not any parenting technique I read about, so maybe I'm all wrong for not letting them work it out themselves.)
Then this weekend - she fought back!!! She yelled at the biggest brother when he approached her rocking! She actually pulled a toy out of both boys hands on separate occasions, to heck with the consequences. Maybe I shouldn't be cheering this behavior on, but I was so thrilled to see her taking what she wanted instead of just giving up - way to go little sister.
And in another first, we went to a little friend's first birthday where there were several first/only children their age - I quickly realized we have tough kids. Apparently, when you have triplets, they toughen up pretty quickly because there's always another child there to pull your hair or sit on top of you or take your toy, even when mom tries to keep that to a minimum. So our kids are just nonplussed about everything - it was pretty cool to watch. Someone takes your toy - eh, who cares? Someone rolls over your foot - that's nothing! But the other kids, wow, it was an earth shattering event. On the way out, you could tell Bray was proud that we had the "tough" kids :) (Poor little bit - she didn't stand a chance!)
Then this weekend - she fought back!!! She yelled at the biggest brother when he approached her rocking! She actually pulled a toy out of both boys hands on separate occasions, to heck with the consequences. Maybe I shouldn't be cheering this behavior on, but I was so thrilled to see her taking what she wanted instead of just giving up - way to go little sister.
And in another first, we went to a little friend's first birthday where there were several first/only children their age - I quickly realized we have tough kids. Apparently, when you have triplets, they toughen up pretty quickly because there's always another child there to pull your hair or sit on top of you or take your toy, even when mom tries to keep that to a minimum. So our kids are just nonplussed about everything - it was pretty cool to watch. Someone takes your toy - eh, who cares? Someone rolls over your foot - that's nothing! But the other kids, wow, it was an earth shattering event. On the way out, you could tell Bray was proud that we had the "tough" kids :) (Poor little bit - she didn't stand a chance!)
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Boot Camp - On the Track and At Home
So this week I began my SECOND month of boot camp. Let me start with two important facts. I hate mornings. I hate exercise. This is terrible I realize but it is reality. However, for some bizarre reason, last month I committed to a boot camp near my house that begins at 5 am. I've lost nine pounds. AND........I actually ran the 3 reps of 400 meters w/sit ups and wall balls for our Monday work out that we benchmark against at the end of the month. That is huge. At the beginning of October I could only do the 200 meter reps. But one of the trainers said something that stuck, and really pushed me to this new threshold - pain is temporary, quitting is forever.
So I've decided to apply that slogan to the boot camp at home too. And in fact, any woman of faith could apply that to her marriage when the going gets tough. I have been madly in love with my husband for almost seven years and married nearly five. But if a year of triplets doesn't provide stressors on a marriage, I don't know what would. And while this has been an amazing year filled with daily delight at seeing the new things unfolding before our children's eyes as they learn and develop, it has also been a hard one as our marriage has to mature to a new level. And during the fights, and the fall out, I think it's important to remember that pain is temporary, quitting is forever.
God is a big fan of marriage (healthy marriages - none of this applies if you are being abused). And He's a big fan of them surviving. AND THRIVING. These marriages He designs for us are not marriages on life support. Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding - He wanted to be part of this precious celebration! (John 2) God tells us in Genesis "it is not good for man to be alone," and in I Corinthians that, "For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God." Plus He repeatedly uses marriage as a metaphor for His relationship with us. (Isaiah, Hosea, and more...) He wouldn't draw that picture for us if He hadn't designed marriage as a perfect union. Lucky for me.
Mark 10: 6-9: Jesus says “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Pain is temporary; quitting is forever.
So I've decided to apply that slogan to the boot camp at home too. And in fact, any woman of faith could apply that to her marriage when the going gets tough. I have been madly in love with my husband for almost seven years and married nearly five. But if a year of triplets doesn't provide stressors on a marriage, I don't know what would. And while this has been an amazing year filled with daily delight at seeing the new things unfolding before our children's eyes as they learn and develop, it has also been a hard one as our marriage has to mature to a new level. And during the fights, and the fall out, I think it's important to remember that pain is temporary, quitting is forever.
God is a big fan of marriage (healthy marriages - none of this applies if you are being abused). And He's a big fan of them surviving. AND THRIVING. These marriages He designs for us are not marriages on life support. Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding - He wanted to be part of this precious celebration! (John 2) God tells us in Genesis "it is not good for man to be alone," and in I Corinthians that, "For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God." Plus He repeatedly uses marriage as a metaphor for His relationship with us. (Isaiah, Hosea, and more...) He wouldn't draw that picture for us if He hadn't designed marriage as a perfect union. Lucky for me.
Mark 10: 6-9: Jesus says “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Pain is temporary; quitting is forever.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Funnies.........
So they've been TOYING with the idea of walking. C not so much, but A & B definitely! Well, yesterday, my eldest (by 30 seconds) just took off. Stood himself up and off he went across the playroom. Until he realized what he had done and plopped down and cried. He had just totally freaked himself out, and amused us in the process. I feel confident that once he's really up & going, the other two will be mere days behind because they are all so dang competitive. (I wonder where that came from?!?!?)
With all three the same age, you see the most fascinating developmental differences. The boys, well C especially, crash cars and bang things. They fight for something to the death (or mother's interference). The lady of the bunch though, she hightails it out of there if the boys come to play w/her toys. She does not want to get into it. Unless she's riding the big blue dog - that she'll fight for (or scream for as the case may be). But one is such an engineer and will spend hours figuring out a toy. Another is a complete social butterfly and flirt. And the other is fiercely independent. All three products of Bray and I, yet all three radically different. I think the Psalmist should have added "I am fearfully and wonderfully and UNIQUELY made." One has tons of hair. One has no teeth. Yet they all have the same eyes and toes.
Ecclesiastes tells us, "As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
Isn't it cool to watch it all unfold? Why they are obsessed w/petting my husband's trophy deer hanging on the wall? How they decided to start sharing their food w/me at mealtimes? What words they decide to say next? How they fall asleep in the crook of your neck? Ah.
I have friends with children going through some major struggles. I'm grateful for this quiet period for me to just spend watching the babies learn. And whether you are in a quiet time or a tumultuous time, it resonates that twice in Job these words were uttered syllable for syllable:
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.
I have three constant reminders of unfathomable miracles.
With all three the same age, you see the most fascinating developmental differences. The boys, well C especially, crash cars and bang things. They fight for something to the death (or mother's interference). The lady of the bunch though, she hightails it out of there if the boys come to play w/her toys. She does not want to get into it. Unless she's riding the big blue dog - that she'll fight for (or scream for as the case may be). But one is such an engineer and will spend hours figuring out a toy. Another is a complete social butterfly and flirt. And the other is fiercely independent. All three products of Bray and I, yet all three radically different. I think the Psalmist should have added "I am fearfully and wonderfully and UNIQUELY made." One has tons of hair. One has no teeth. Yet they all have the same eyes and toes.
Ecclesiastes tells us, "As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
Isn't it cool to watch it all unfold? Why they are obsessed w/petting my husband's trophy deer hanging on the wall? How they decided to start sharing their food w/me at mealtimes? What words they decide to say next? How they fall asleep in the crook of your neck? Ah.
I have friends with children going through some major struggles. I'm grateful for this quiet period for me to just spend watching the babies learn. And whether you are in a quiet time or a tumultuous time, it resonates that twice in Job these words were uttered syllable for syllable:
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.
I have three constant reminders of unfathomable miracles.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
His Hands
I was driving into work this morning and heard a song by JJ Heller - as you'll be able to tell pretty quickly, God often uses music to really drive home a point to me. And it's amazing that you can hear songs and read scriptures that say the same thing but sometimes it just jumps out at you in a new and fresh way. And part of the song's chorus and refrain says:
When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands
Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still
Isn't that amazing? How often do we really appreciate that fact that the Hands that shaped the world, those that designed the beautiful little faces on our children, those that flung the stars into place, they are holding little me and little you. Little tiny dot on the planet me. If that doesn't bring you some security, some peace, some ability to rest, then I can't imagine what would. He's holding you today.
When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands
Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still
Isn't that amazing? How often do we really appreciate that fact that the Hands that shaped the world, those that designed the beautiful little faces on our children, those that flung the stars into place, they are holding little me and little you. Little tiny dot on the planet me. If that doesn't bring you some security, some peace, some ability to rest, then I can't imagine what would. He's holding you today.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
What a difference a day makes......
So I thought I was having a rough week. Bumps in the road at home. Bumps in the road at work. But then I realized they weren't real bumps. They weren't even ant hills. Yesterday, I was barraged with seeing real bumps from those going through some of their biggest life challenges.
A dear sweet friend of mine who prayed over me on my wedding day discovered her 3 year old has a rare fast growing cancerous tumor behind her eye. They're doing a body scan as I type (and pray) to make sure it hasn't spread. More than a bump, it feels like the road has opened up before her and ended in a cavernous pit.
A woman I've worked with in the community for years told me she's slated for surgery next week because she found out she has breast cancer. Her three kids, two of whom are old enough to understand, are heartbroken. More than a bump, it feels like a roadblock.
My mom's dear bible study friend had her husband unexpectedly die of a heart attack.
A triplet mom who's blog I read gave birth to a full term baby stillborn.
And in the midst of this barrage, you have to question what the Lord is doing. Why? How? It makes no sense. And I drove with all this sitting and circling in my head to a Beth Moore bible study. Worship was lead by Christy Nockels. She always has such a spirit of worship around her, and being still, surrounded by these voices, brought my heart back to who Christ is and why we follow him despite what we sometime see with our human eyes. And sometimes we sing despite what we see because we know that we couldn't possibly understand the reasons why or what will happen as a result. But we have faith. Faith. Faith in a loving God. Faith in a Savior full of grace and mercy.
If you haven't heard her sing Hosanna, get it and listen to it. It isn't a song that says you're here in the middle of this terrible thing even though we don't see you. There are great songs like that. But it is a simple request and song of praise. It's aspirational.
I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith. With selfless faith.
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees. We're on our knees.
Hosanna, Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest....
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
And show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause, As I walk from earth into eternity.
Hosanna, Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest....
And as a PS, even as I was surrounded by these road bumps cropping up all around, I was also reminded of the fact that we often sing praises to God because of the absolutely unimaginable beautiful miracles He performs every second. I knew it the second I walked into our nursery and saw three beautiful sleeping one year old triplets that defied all the odds to become our children. A day doesn't go by without my offering up a thank you to my Heavenly Father - words that will never be enough to express the neon gratitude that my heart flashes each time I see their face and pick them up and kiss them and say "I love you."
A dear sweet friend of mine who prayed over me on my wedding day discovered her 3 year old has a rare fast growing cancerous tumor behind her eye. They're doing a body scan as I type (and pray) to make sure it hasn't spread. More than a bump, it feels like the road has opened up before her and ended in a cavernous pit.
A woman I've worked with in the community for years told me she's slated for surgery next week because she found out she has breast cancer. Her three kids, two of whom are old enough to understand, are heartbroken. More than a bump, it feels like a roadblock.
My mom's dear bible study friend had her husband unexpectedly die of a heart attack.
A triplet mom who's blog I read gave birth to a full term baby stillborn.
And in the midst of this barrage, you have to question what the Lord is doing. Why? How? It makes no sense. And I drove with all this sitting and circling in my head to a Beth Moore bible study. Worship was lead by Christy Nockels. She always has such a spirit of worship around her, and being still, surrounded by these voices, brought my heart back to who Christ is and why we follow him despite what we sometime see with our human eyes. And sometimes we sing despite what we see because we know that we couldn't possibly understand the reasons why or what will happen as a result. But we have faith. Faith. Faith in a loving God. Faith in a Savior full of grace and mercy.
If you haven't heard her sing Hosanna, get it and listen to it. It isn't a song that says you're here in the middle of this terrible thing even though we don't see you. There are great songs like that. But it is a simple request and song of praise. It's aspirational.
I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith. With selfless faith.
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees. We're on our knees.
Hosanna, Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest....
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
And show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause, As I walk from earth into eternity.
Hosanna, Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest....
And as a PS, even as I was surrounded by these road bumps cropping up all around, I was also reminded of the fact that we often sing praises to God because of the absolutely unimaginable beautiful miracles He performs every second. I knew it the second I walked into our nursery and saw three beautiful sleeping one year old triplets that defied all the odds to become our children. A day doesn't go by without my offering up a thank you to my Heavenly Father - words that will never be enough to express the neon gratitude that my heart flashes each time I see their face and pick them up and kiss them and say "I love you."
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Really, so I'm actually going to try this again......
So as may be apparent from the one & only previous posting, I clearly did not get into the whole blogging thing. What with work, bedrest, having triplets, living in the NICU for a month, raising triplets, going back to work....well, you get the picture. However, I'm going to try once again. Mainly because the trio's baby books are in sad sad shape and if I force myself to post about life, they'll have some record of their early years - what did our mothers do????
So where are we today? Hubby still has a great job. I'm up for a promotion. And the itty bits aren't as itty or bitty anymore - and they're ONE. I work Mon - Thurs and stay at home w/the fab 3 Fri - Sun. A (boy) & B (girl) are taking steps on their own - they've each mastered three to four solo before crashing in our arms. C (boy) isn't as interested in walking on his own since he clearly can push everything around the play room w/reckless abandon - not just push toys mind you, he believes everything has wheels, so even our kid sized music stand goes from one end of the room to the other with the big Hulkster pushing it around.
Here's some shots from our amazing One Year pumpkin patch photo shoot with dear friend Allie. If these aren't the cutest babies in the world, then I don't know what.........
So where are we today? Hubby still has a great job. I'm up for a promotion. And the itty bits aren't as itty or bitty anymore - and they're ONE. I work Mon - Thurs and stay at home w/the fab 3 Fri - Sun. A (boy) & B (girl) are taking steps on their own - they've each mastered three to four solo before crashing in our arms. C (boy) isn't as interested in walking on his own since he clearly can push everything around the play room w/reckless abandon - not just push toys mind you, he believes everything has wheels, so even our kid sized music stand goes from one end of the room to the other with the big Hulkster pushing it around.
Here's some shots from our amazing One Year pumpkin patch photo shoot with dear friend Allie. If these aren't the cutest babies in the world, then I don't know what.........
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