Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wherever You Are
I am exhausted. And there's not a break in sight. Between late nights with the kids as a result of the big kid beds and everyone being sick, the 4:30 a.m. wake up calls for boot camp, extra work hours for Bray during rodeo, and increased business at work and on charitable boards, I'm just drained. I know Bray is too. Since I am so tired I have had absolutely nothing to write. Yet I truly try to write something at least three times a week. So in trying to figure out what funny quips from the kids I could quote or what spiritual insight I might have had recently, I went back and looked through my old posts. I save a post every once in awhile in draft form without publishing it because I'm not sure what I want to do with it or how I want to use a thought. I came across this one. All that was in the draft was the title above and the lyrics to a song I had heard on the radio over a month ago that really ministered to my spirit that day.
I will probably write every single month about a song or some way music has taught me or inspired me or re-energized me. There is nothing like a song for a weary body or spirit (or both). The other wonderful thing is that whatever the song meant to me on that day, it means something else entirely, but similarly helpful, on this new day. I love that about reading Scripture too. One day it will reach me in the middle of a crisis and say one thing, and the next day it will reach me in a season of joy and teach me how to be even better at gratitude.
The song that lead to this post is by a group called Tenth Avenue North. I'd never heard of them until this Christmas when I was searching You Tube for a kid friendly version of Deck the Halls because my kids were obsessed with the la, la, las. Well, Tenth Avenue North recorded a very fun and peppy version and my kids watch it even now and dance around the room with the guys. Turns out they're a Christian band and they have a song airing on KSBJ called Strong Enough to Save. I heard it driving into work and got this visual of God literally cracking open the skies to help us if we ask. Rereading it today, a new line resonated, "I know the current of yourself can take you out, out to sea, but hold on."
Wow. I'll tell you, the current of ME has been taking me out to sea. Wiping me out with waves taller than I can manage. Fortunately, I serve a God that can even save me from myself. What a relief. Especially today. Here's some of those words - maybe they'll restore you wherever you are:
He'll break open the skies to save
Those who cry out his name
The one the winds and waves obey
He's strong enough to save you
Look, now is not too late
Lift up your head, let the rain fall on your face
You're not far from grace, you're not too far from grace
I know the weight of this world can take you down like gravity
And I know the current of yourself can take you out, out to sea but hold on, hold on
He'll break open the skies to save
Those who cry out his name
The one the winds and waves obey
He's strong enough to save you
I will probably write every single month about a song or some way music has taught me or inspired me or re-energized me. There is nothing like a song for a weary body or spirit (or both). The other wonderful thing is that whatever the song meant to me on that day, it means something else entirely, but similarly helpful, on this new day. I love that about reading Scripture too. One day it will reach me in the middle of a crisis and say one thing, and the next day it will reach me in a season of joy and teach me how to be even better at gratitude.
The song that lead to this post is by a group called Tenth Avenue North. I'd never heard of them until this Christmas when I was searching You Tube for a kid friendly version of Deck the Halls because my kids were obsessed with the la, la, las. Well, Tenth Avenue North recorded a very fun and peppy version and my kids watch it even now and dance around the room with the guys. Turns out they're a Christian band and they have a song airing on KSBJ called Strong Enough to Save. I heard it driving into work and got this visual of God literally cracking open the skies to help us if we ask. Rereading it today, a new line resonated, "I know the current of yourself can take you out, out to sea, but hold on."
Wow. I'll tell you, the current of ME has been taking me out to sea. Wiping me out with waves taller than I can manage. Fortunately, I serve a God that can even save me from myself. What a relief. Especially today. Here's some of those words - maybe they'll restore you wherever you are:
He'll break open the skies to save
Those who cry out his name
The one the winds and waves obey
He's strong enough to save you
Look, now is not too late
Lift up your head, let the rain fall on your face
You're not far from grace, you're not too far from grace
I know the weight of this world can take you down like gravity
And I know the current of yourself can take you out, out to sea but hold on, hold on
He'll break open the skies to save
Those who cry out his name
The one the winds and waves obey
He's strong enough to save you
Friday, February 24, 2012
Won't Give Up
I was driving home last night and heard this song called Won't Give Up by a guy named Jason Mraz. I'd never heard it before, but I loved the words. It reminds me a lot of this year. Bray and I have had some ups and downs, but these past few weeks, with the kids turning into diabolical little two year olds, I have felt so encouraged and strengthened to know that our marriage is good and strong. And even when we hit bumps, they are followed by good times. I could not have gotten through this rough patch with the kids without him. Knowing I am part of a team, wow, it just makes all the difference tackling the tough stuff.
We were all five sitting down at dinner the other day and the baby said, "Family." Family. We asked, "who is your family?" And he said, "mommy, daddy..." and then listed himself and his brother and sister. I love that not only is Bray the love of my life, but he's also my family.
If you're going through a storm in your marriage, remember that sunshine and a healthier land follows it, and don't give up. Here's a part of Won't Give Up:
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find...
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't end
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
We were all five sitting down at dinner the other day and the baby said, "Family." Family. We asked, "who is your family?" And he said, "mommy, daddy..." and then listed himself and his brother and sister. I love that not only is Bray the love of my life, but he's also my family.
If you're going through a storm in your marriage, remember that sunshine and a healthier land follows it, and don't give up. Here's a part of Won't Give Up:
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find...
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't end
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
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Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Grace
It's been a long week. As you may have read. Because of some of our toddler trials, I feel particularly thankful for God's grace. Grace that has been doled out to me with abundance. I hope I never cease to recognize it.
I looked up the definition of grace, and there are many variations, but I particularly liked this one: Grace is God's unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don't deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever do to earn this favor. It is a gift from God. Grace is divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration...
I'm still tired today. I'm still working through what it is we need to do to be good parents and teach our children obedience in love. But I also feel thankful. Thankful for grace given across the spectrum:
1. The grace given to us when our nanny offered to do an intervention last night to see if the kids would go to bed for her. So Maria Poppins returned at 7:15 last night to our house and while she bathed them and put them to bed (they were asleep by 8 pm for her, of course!), Bray and I went out for a drink and just enjoyed the quiet and reminisced about when we met (and how we would never have imagined all this!).
2. The grace given to me this morning to rest in our bed with little bit. She and I are really at loggerheads right now, she's very defiant at times, but she crawled into our bed early this morning and since I was in no rush after boot camp I got to just snuggle with her and enjoy how precious she can be.
3. The grace given to our family to have the wherewithal to have a fun day out at the Aquarium on Sunday. It all got lost in the drama over no sleeping, but Sunday really was a fun day before the escapades began. We studied all the fish, rode the train through the sharks, went around and around on the carousel, and had lunch table side to a wall of fish. The kids were happy and the parents were too.
4. The grace of family and friends who have prayed for us and encouraged us and reminded us that this will pass, all too fast, and that we will miss them being small. It's true and we are grateful to have such love and support in our lives.
II Corinthians 12 - But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Psalm 62 - Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 116 - Return to your rest, my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
Matthew 11 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
I looked up the definition of grace, and there are many variations, but I particularly liked this one: Grace is God's unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don't deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever do to earn this favor. It is a gift from God. Grace is divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration...
I'm still tired today. I'm still working through what it is we need to do to be good parents and teach our children obedience in love. But I also feel thankful. Thankful for grace given across the spectrum:
1. The grace given to us when our nanny offered to do an intervention last night to see if the kids would go to bed for her. So Maria Poppins returned at 7:15 last night to our house and while she bathed them and put them to bed (they were asleep by 8 pm for her, of course!), Bray and I went out for a drink and just enjoyed the quiet and reminisced about when we met (and how we would never have imagined all this!).
2. The grace given to me this morning to rest in our bed with little bit. She and I are really at loggerheads right now, she's very defiant at times, but she crawled into our bed early this morning and since I was in no rush after boot camp I got to just snuggle with her and enjoy how precious she can be.
3. The grace given to our family to have the wherewithal to have a fun day out at the Aquarium on Sunday. It all got lost in the drama over no sleeping, but Sunday really was a fun day before the escapades began. We studied all the fish, rode the train through the sharks, went around and around on the carousel, and had lunch table side to a wall of fish. The kids were happy and the parents were too.
4. The grace of family and friends who have prayed for us and encouraged us and reminded us that this will pass, all too fast, and that we will miss them being small. It's true and we are grateful to have such love and support in our lives.
Psalm 62 - Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 116 - Return to your rest, my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
Matthew 11 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Insert Expletive Here
I realize I post a lot about my faith and God's hand in our journey. So I also realize I'm not allowed to curse because it sends a bad message for someone who writes about faith and family to have four letter words on her blog. However, the most restraint I can use tonight is for you to use the expletive that you think most fitting given your background. It may be that is, "gracious." I assure you, regardless of my personal Christianity, I am human and that is not the word running through my head tonight.
As you know from this week's post, we converted to big kid beds last weekend. Harrowing is not nearly descriptive enough of a word. Yesterday, instead of nap time, the eldest took off his poopy diaper (the disastrous turn potty training has taken is a whole other issue), and the boys proceeded to spread the poop all the floor (beige carpet), doors and each other. After a day of work, we still can't get it out of the carpet though the blankets and doors (and skin) has been restored. Despite running them like dogs at the Aquarium this morning, which was, in and of itself, a fun adventure, only the baby took a nap. I am not willing to part with naps at 28 months. Especially when, at 8 pm tonight, they are still running around hopping from bed to bed while Bray sits with them (when I threw Piglet at the completely defiant little lady we realized it was time for me to leave the room). We tried to bathe them to calm them down, but while trying to get their p.j.s, the little lady took the contents of the potty chair and poured it on our floor while the baby crawled into the fireplace to play in the soot.
There are no words to express the incredible frustration, anger, dismay, and Titanic sense of sinking in our household. Bray and I are taking turns losing our temper at least so that one of us steps in when the other one literally can not take one more minute of this naked disobedience and destruction. We can't really process tips right now, we're in sheer survival mode, but we'll take prayers.
As you know from this week's post, we converted to big kid beds last weekend. Harrowing is not nearly descriptive enough of a word. Yesterday, instead of nap time, the eldest took off his poopy diaper (the disastrous turn potty training has taken is a whole other issue), and the boys proceeded to spread the poop all the floor (beige carpet), doors and each other. After a day of work, we still can't get it out of the carpet though the blankets and doors (and skin) has been restored. Despite running them like dogs at the Aquarium this morning, which was, in and of itself, a fun adventure, only the baby took a nap. I am not willing to part with naps at 28 months. Especially when, at 8 pm tonight, they are still running around hopping from bed to bed while Bray sits with them (when I threw Piglet at the completely defiant little lady we realized it was time for me to leave the room). We tried to bathe them to calm them down, but while trying to get their p.j.s, the little lady took the contents of the potty chair and poured it on our floor while the baby crawled into the fireplace to play in the soot.
There are no words to express the incredible frustration, anger, dismay, and Titanic sense of sinking in our household. Bray and I are taking turns losing our temper at least so that one of us steps in when the other one literally can not take one more minute of this naked disobedience and destruction. We can't really process tips right now, we're in sheer survival mode, but we'll take prayers.
Friday, February 17, 2012
friday's follies: oh lord
my kids are copycats right now. mimics. parrots.
we're still in the throws of potty training and this week i walked into the laundry room where are potties are lined up to see a lovely large present left for me by the little bitty lady. the present was not little or bitty. i stood there, sort of shaking my head in disbelief, and uttered, "oh lord."
the baby walks in, checks out the full potty, shakes his head, and says, "oh lord."
funniest. thing. ever. i couldn't stop laughing. so of course he repeated it. i realize he shouldn't be saying oh lord, but goodness gracious.
they are terrors right now, but they are also genuinely hysterical. they've taken to calling small offerings, "dolphin poopies," and large offerings, "rhino poopies." they love animals - both of the african nature and the aquatic kind. the baby is very frustrated if he doesn't have an exact sound for every animal, but seriously, how DOES a meerkat sound? they want to hug sharks even though they know they go "chomp" on your face. the eldest, at bedtime and potty time, sharply instructs, "sit down mommy" with his little toddler accent so precious that i can't do anything but obey. and little bit, despite my attempts to mitigate this, is in love with pink and wants everything pink - a pink cat, a pink house, a pink fish, especially things that in no way come in pink.
we're still in the throws of potty training and this week i walked into the laundry room where are potties are lined up to see a lovely large present left for me by the little bitty lady. the present was not little or bitty. i stood there, sort of shaking my head in disbelief, and uttered, "oh lord."
the baby walks in, checks out the full potty, shakes his head, and says, "oh lord."
funniest. thing. ever. i couldn't stop laughing. so of course he repeated it. i realize he shouldn't be saying oh lord, but goodness gracious.
they are terrors right now, but they are also genuinely hysterical. they've taken to calling small offerings, "dolphin poopies," and large offerings, "rhino poopies." they love animals - both of the african nature and the aquatic kind. the baby is very frustrated if he doesn't have an exact sound for every animal, but seriously, how DOES a meerkat sound? they want to hug sharks even though they know they go "chomp" on your face. the eldest, at bedtime and potty time, sharply instructs, "sit down mommy" with his little toddler accent so precious that i can't do anything but obey. and little bit, despite my attempts to mitigate this, is in love with pink and wants everything pink - a pink cat, a pink house, a pink fish, especially things that in no way come in pink.
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