We have some big decisions to make. Bigger than normal. I'm not always a fan of big decisions. They are hard. Even the good ones. I worry I will make the wrong decision. I often pray God will close all the doors except the one I am supposed to walk through so I don't make a mistake.
But here's the thing: that's a cop out. That route allows me to avoid responsibility. That "only one door" prayer doesn't require me to sit still and listen for God's voice. If there's no "choice," then I don't have to read the Bible or pray hard or seek the Godly counsel of others because everything is done for me.
The other problem with that is maybe the answer is stay put. Maybe I should not select the one available option because I might be required to wait. The decision might be no decision, for now.
As I face these big decisions, I think of all the life decisions that I have been confronted with or my friends and family have had to face. I remember my mother having to make a decision about maintaining life sustaining treatments for my end-stage Alzheimer's grandmother. She is possibly the most amazing person that I have ever encountered in my entire life and, had it been up to me, I probably would have made a different decision because I would have been unable to let go. Selfishly, and without God's guidance, I would have just kept her here with me, even though I knew she was already gone. One of my dearest friends had to make the choice to stay in her marriage after one of the most trust-breaking, heart-aching breaches of a marriage I have encountered. Selfishly, and without God's guidance, I would have run for the hills without praying and understanding that redemption for him and my family was even an option. She made the better choice and her life and their family stands in testament to her allowing God to make the choice. I moved cities, and left a wonderful life behind me, including a person I thought I would marry, because God essentially picked my resistant butt up and relocated me because He KNEW this was His plan for me. And I have known so much more fulfillment, from finding the real man God had for me to marry to job success I couldn't have fathomed, because I let God do the decision making.
So this week I am praying. I am studying what God has to say about all of this, stuff like His direction for wisdom and peace, and I am sitting quietly to know better what I should decide in the months ahead.
I write this because maybe you have a big decision too. Maybe you would rather skip out on the hard decisions than fully participate with the leading of God's guidance and revelation. I know how nerve-wracking it can be. As a girl who is a huge lover of security and stability, change decisions can unnerve me. But they can also unleash me. These choices can untie me from the sameness of my safety zone and release me to do what God has planned. They can wake me up from the coma of continuity. They drive me to know God more and to listen constantly and intently to what He calls me to do.
I pray for wisdom: God gave Solomon wisdom
and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the
on the seashore. (I Kings 4)
I pray for discernment: “Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king...But I am only a little child
and do not know how to carry out my duties. So
give your servant a discerning
heart to govern your people and to distinguish
between right and wrong." (I Kings 3)
I pray for stillness: Trust in the Lord
and do good; dwell in the
and enjoy safe pasture. Delight
yourself in the Lord and he will give you
the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him
and he will do this...Be still
before the Lord
and wait patiently
for him. (Psalm 37)