Change of Plans

I had this great post planned for today - the final installment of my big decision series.  It went the way of all of my meetings and plans for today: out the window. 

I had late meetings last night so, despite a few runny noses and innocuous cough when I left yesterday morning, I expected nothing out of the ordinary when I got home and the kids were in bed.  I think that is why I am still stunned as I sit and type this.  I've been up since 2:30 am today (it's 8 pm now and Bray's putting the kids down after my extended shift).  The baby has asthma.  I will never adjust to how a little cold turns into a croup and then into a battle for him to breath.  When morning officially dawned, I'd been up for hours with the baby and our albuterol inhaler ticking down the moments til the doctor's office opened.  As the sun peaked out, all three kids had coughs and fevers. 

My nanny had the day off due to a death in the family.  Bray and I had cobbled together coverage so we could make the umpteen meetings we both had at work today - school covered us in the morning, he'd do drop off, I'd do pick up, and we'd have a sitter cover the afternoon til my mom could come after work.  That all went out the window because you can't leave really sick kids with someone who doesn't know them and you certainly don't go to school.  Bray stayed with two while I rushed the baby into the first appointment of the morning.  Dropping oxygen, tight chest, breathless, speechless.  I cried as I asked the doctor if this was going to be a forever thing because I never get used to it.  She entertained him while I composed myself.  (She's awesome by the way.  She said, no, it's not forever, and you haven't had any sleep.)

I cancelled all my meetings and left my iPhone, that I delusionally thought I'd use to check in with work, somewhere between the bathroom and the kitchen as we ran between fevers, vomiting, coughing, shaking, crying, and utter exhaustion.  Me and the kids.  I wondered if I'd ever had all three this sick on the same day.  I remember a particularly excruciating bout with a stomach virus we all five had but even that unfolded over about five days.  Today, I'd successfully get one fever under control only to have another spike.  I'd get lunch made only to have one cough so violently that it was all lost. 

This is the weirdest thing.  I never screamed.  I never lost my temper.  I never regretted not being at work.  I never felt frustrated this was the day the nanny ended up gone.  I felt relieved to be the one here.  I felt this immeasurable surge of love and protection and compassion for these beautiful sick people that laid on my lap all day and held my hand.  I felt like a mom.  And only a mom.  I felt no tug of multiple commitments today.  I did no multi-tasking.  I just fixed kids. 

The other post will come.  The meetings will occur tomorrow (regardless of if I get any sleep tonight).  But today I am reminded that sometimes a change of plans can be a gift.  Even under upsetting circumstances, God works wonders.

Happy Two Year Blog!

I just realized this week that I had MISSED the two year anniversary of my blog in October.  It has grown so much this past year that I feel tremendously blessed.  Even more exciting, this month I will launch the blog on a new site, gindivincent.com, so stay tuned for some really fun details and give aways as that happens. 

Last year, I celebrated my top five blog posts of the year.  This is so hard because I've written over 400 blog posts which means I'm writing about 200 posts a year.......how to pick!?!?  But in keeping with my tradition, here's my favorite posts from Year Two - cannot wait to see how year three unfolds:

5.  Losing Mothering - This post resonated so much in my own life, and then I found it resonated with other moms too who feel often like they just can't keep up with all that spins around us.  A theme in many of my posts is that mothering is hard but such a gift from God.  (Also, if you missed it, I got some great tips from moms on how to manage the coming home from work chaos in Triplet Tot Two-Step!)

4.  Clutching v. Releasing - I still struggle with this.  I realize that I can be such a control freak that reading this post helped me to go back and remind myself I need to let God stay in control. 

3.  Easter Madness, Part 1 and Part 2 - This is just so funny to me.  Easter - the celebration of our Risen Lord or...the way for commercial ventures to milk you dry.  I became overwhelmed with all there was to do for two year old triplets at Easter.  Hopefully, I will "check out" of the madness next year and really focus the kids on the sacrifice of our Lord. 

2.  The Night Before Nightmare - Okay y'all, this and its follow up post (Insert Expletive Here - which everyone remembers because of the poop-smearing) totally crack me up now because we're still dealing with this nuttiness.  It's so weird to think that this was the year they learned to scale their cribs (which I wrote about last November) and that we converted to toddler beds, back to cribs, and back to toddler beds.  There is no keeping them in.  They scale the gate every night still to this day and wander around the house.  It's nuts.  I need to separate them. 

1.  39 Things - This was interesting because I actually got traffic from NYTimes Money blog which inspired the article, so this was my second most read blog post. This post impacted me tremendously because of what it taught me about living in, and not above, the excess. I did follow up posts over that three week challenge of reducing the glut of overspending and over-acquiring - the Second Part showed me how much I needed to get rid of, the Third Part resulted in me being stuck having eliminated the low hanging fruit, and the Finale had me outraged at how susceptible I'd become to it all.   I want to teach my children differently. 

One that didn't make my list, but received the most "hits" because it was a link up to my friend Kelly's blog, was a post entitled Triplet Nursery - it was fun to go back and see how orderly that room was with babies!  That post, and the posts about our trip to Disney, were the most read but aren't my favorites (it's my earlier posts that practically only family read that I love the most).  I had five honorable mentions last year, so I'll do it again:  These remind me of how far we've com - The Terrible Triplet Twos (and The Sticker in My Panties); This one summarizes how so much of my life is about the amazing women in it - Four Friendships You Gotta Have;  I don't write about marriage much but I love this because I still struggle with telling my husband "how" to do things - How To Get to San Antonio; This one just shows how much God reveals to me through the actions of my kids - Smiling Defiance.  Oh, and this one explains why I keep doing all this, I really think I'm being called to some God-space I've not yet seen......Through The Tears, The Vision Reappears.

I hope you all will hang in there in the next couple months as I do some more growing with you and even grow on over to a new platform.  Your words of empathy and encouragement have made me love writing/blogging even more - thank you for sharing my life. 

Vote America and Table Grace

I had planned on writing this post about voting because I actually love politics and have voted in every election since I could (which happened to be 1992 - yikes!).  And I still do want to mention it because I think it is such a valuable part of being an American.  But I also have to mention the amazing gift that was Table Grace last night as well.

Little bit and I voted together weekend before last when the boys were gone.  Early voting has been nuts here in Texas, lines every single day, but luckily we only had to wait about 20 minutes to vote.  I talked to her about what voting is and how everyone has different opinions but that is what makes our country great and everyone should vote.  Little bit took baby and proudly displayed our voting slip on the way out: 

I love what Beth Moore wrote on her blog yesterday - I love that it wasn't about a candidate but rather but what we, as God's people, could pray for the candidates.  I encourage you to read some of the scriptures and prayers that were left.  There's a hymn that I can still hear my Grandaddy and Mimi singing at the piano, harmonizing their voices.  Those words are looping through my head today:

 

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

 

No matter who you support, I hope you take this as encouragement - our hope is only in one man.  By way of transition from Vote America to Table Grace, check this out:



This is one of the AMAZING tables at Crosspoint Church's Table Grace last night.  I desperately wanted to go because Jen Hatmaker was serving as the keynote speaker, but they were SOLD OUT!  A darling friend of mine that I met in North Carolina at SheSpeaks! (of all places) had an extra ticket last minute, and called yesterday morning to invite me.  As fate would have it, I had dinner already in the crock pot before I left for work and Bray said he could manage so I went.  Before Jen spoke, we had dinner and the folks all decorated tables.  Talk about a million ideas for you Pinterest-ers.  The above table's theme featured "Vote America," but the over 50 tables featured themes from tea time to adoption.  Y'all, these ladies brought everything from the linens to the tableware, glassware, place cards, and favors!  Here's some of the really cool ideas.

 

A"camping" theme with a backpack centerpiece and the cute "favors" were the ingredients for s'mores in a jar, adorable!

 

A "French" picnic theme but the place cards were written into the napkin rings with a sprig and the favors were take home TREES!

 

 

There was a lot of Christmas, which I loved!  Here's two - the first one had flocked trees as the centerpiece with Christmas china and the favors were mini Christmas snow globes in tea cups!  The second theme was "presents" and had gorgeous presents as centerpieces with a Christmas frame in an open "present" as favors/place cards. 

 

 

 

 

Here's a few more for your viewing pleasure, I wish I could post ALL 58!

(From top to bottom:  Beach theme with shells on the plates and burlap covered chairs, Jesus "Saves" themes with coupons as chargers and place cards and a grocery basket full as a centerpiece, Princess theme with castle centerpieces and place cards on napkins, ice cream cone theme with precious felt ice cream scoops as favors and ice cream tubs/cones/toppings in jars as a centerpiece, Thanksgiving theme with these pretty wicker chairs with the "place cards" as names strung on the back of the chair, and Christmas china theme all with reds and golds which I love!)

 

As much as this all made my little Martha Stewart heart swoon, nothing prepared me for the absolutely mind blowing message Jen Hatmaker brought.  She has an incredible ability to be funny and relatable and yet totally grounded in the Bible and the message Jesus has to offer.  As many times as I have heard a sermon on the Samaritan woman, I had never heard it taught like this.  One of the many things that really stuck with me was her discussion of the woman's reaction after Jesus acknowledged that she had been married five times and was yet living with a sixth man.  Jen said, Jesus did not overlook her sin, but neither did He overreact.  As a result, instead of her hiding in shame, do you know what she did?  She ran and told the village, which clearly had ostracized her for her wanton-ness, that this MUST BE THE SAVIOUR.  And because of that, Jesus stayed for two days, despite all social conventions which demanded He stay away from Samaria, and many came to know Him.  He used a woman, with a immoral background, as a mighty tool and also lavished on her grace to know redemption and acceptance.  Such a powerful story.  If you ever have a chance to hear her teach, you must go.  



Parent Teacher Conferences

I wanted to record this for posterity.  I had parent-teacher conferences for the kids on Thursday.  This year they have two amazing teachers.  The whole family adores them and it has been such an incredible learning environment. 

However, as you may have read from time to time, the terrible twos did not magically disappear on the triplets third birthday.  In fact, while there is less running off willy nilly into danger, there is more defiance and boundary testing which Bray and I are befuddled on how to manage.  We want respectful kind children that are independent but also obedient. 

Apparently, that's what we have.  The teachers regaled me in nothing short of glowing terms of the children and their manners and their learning.  They said they were the only kids that clean up their snacks and cups after snack time without being asked and then go back to help the other children.  They said they are confident and smart.  They showed me the numbers games they play with everyone to teach them number associations and described how the kids have it mastered.  They said the trio read all the time, especially the baby, and all listen attentively during story time.  The kids even all play well with others and are obedient and each have their own group of friends. 

I am not sharing this to say my kids rock.  Well, my kids rock, but that's totally not the point.  I have felt like the biggest failure of a mother lately.  Our house is complete bedlam.  Table manners are abysmal.  When Bray told the eldest he couldn't sit at the table with a ball cap on, you would have think we murdered his pet.  When we put the baby in time out because he wouldn't sit down at the dinner table, he burst into the most insane temper fit you've ever seen and I thought he was going to hyperventilate.  We all tried to go to the grocery story yesterday, but they would not sit in the cart and grabbed everything out of the vegetable bins.  Bray had to take the eldest out to the car meanwhile I was inside with the other two and the little lady was pulling my hair out and knocking things off the shelf.  As we loaded the car up, the three simultaneously wailed like we were beating them and I looked around to make sure no one was calling the cops.  It is warfare people. 

Yet on Thursday afternoon, I sat with these amazing women who teach my children every day, and they said, "Whatever you are doing, it is working.  Your kids are such a delight to have in our class every day."  One particularly precious gift was how they went on and on about the little lady.  Sometimes I worry because I feel like she doesn't have as big of a champion as the boys.  Bray and I love the kids equally but the eldest has an incredibly close relationship with Bray's father, which I love watching grow, and the baby has an incredibly close relationship with my mother, in part because he reminds her so much of me, but the little lady doesn't really have that.  I think some of that stems from the fact that she IS so independent and fearless and dances to her own beat, literally and figuratively.  But the teachers shared how loving and bright and joyful she is.  They shared that when they do the alphabet song with the phonetics on the wall board, she stands up and "teaches" the class.  They said she is so incredibly confident presenting and she loves to serve as a teacher.  They talked about music class and how our little bit dances with every ounce of energy in her body - from her toes all the way up to dancing with her eyes.  They said her face exudes this joyous passion. 

There is so much that we don't see at home as parents.  There is so much of what we pour into our children that they pour right back out into those they encounter and we never know.  Except for parent teacher conferences and grandparent reports and friends' moms sharing. 

I want them to know, if they read these post twenty years from now, that from an early age they had such passion and strength and courage and self-initiative and intellect and humor and joy and curiosity and compassion and fortitude.  I want them to know that even on the hard days they were so so so loved.  And I want to remind myself of what a gift this whole chaotic journey is. 

Halloween 4.0

Okay, so I realize that most of you saw our precious Halloween theme this year in yesterday's Wordless Wednesday.  However, now that I have started the tradition (see last year's Halloween 3.0 post for the recap), I have to keep it going.

This year was a little odd because all the parties at school and in the neighborhood were last week so we had days of dead time before the trio donned their costumes again.  They had already done the school parade and and bounce house parties and could not quite figure out when Halloween actually starts and stops. 

Does this crack you up?  He wasn't even trying and looks like an evil Pirate!

I think they were a little baffled, but we hyped up the fact that this year they could TRICK OR TREAT which is brand new to us.  We kicked off the morning with their Halloween, not costume, outfits as they headed off to school and I almost passed out from how cute they were:

I got home before 5:30 so Bray and I could feed the kids a little early in order to "suit up" for the neighborhood candy hawking.  Luckily, in Houston it warmed up enough that little bit did not FREEZE in her Tinkerbell costume.  We started shortly after 6:30 with several of our neighborhood friends and it was fun (and funny!).  We practiced our "trick or treat" yells before heading out to a super kid friendly street with virtually no cars. 

However, taking three year old triplets trick-or-treating feels like taking octuplets.  Seriously.  I was wiped.  Bray was not quite as beaten down as me by the end of it, but still that process can knock you out.  Door-to-door-to-door.  Tinkerbell shedding wings and wand.  Captain Hook shedding hat and hook.  Peter Pan shedding bow and arrows.

The eldest got the hang of it quick.  He stopped waiting for people to hand him the candy, and instead sent double fists into the candy bowl to maximize his haul.  Clearly they figured out Halloween in a nano-second.  (Much like the way they took to hunting Easter eggs - the baby told me at bedtime that after breakfast this morning he was going back out trick-or-treating - he was sad to hear that was not an option.)

Bray led the multi-kid procession with our choo-choo wagon

The baby says, "hey mom" check this out

The little lady says, "really, I can knock on a stranger's door?"

A neighbor brought his guitar out and played for the kids

Yes, these are 3 full buckets of non-Weight Watcher friendly candy

It really was fun though to be a part of the neighborhood and the tradition Bray and I had as kids.  I'm wiped out this morning, but loved seeing their excitement.  Here's a little snippet of our practice round before approaching our first door: 

How Life Is Good

In the midst of all the news of weather storms assailing our coast and news of political storms battling our country, I wanted to write of thankfulness in a season.  Nothing deep.  Nothing earth-shattering.  But the little things that brought me joy today.

1.  Cold weather.  I know that Houston cold is relative, but I do get to put us all in sweaters and little bit even asked me to buy her boots.  I love the cool snap in the air and the pumpkins on the doorsteps and the fact that Thanksgiving isn't even a month away. 

2.  Glasses.  As in eye wear, not drinking.  Little bit poured my contacts out in her midnight runnings, and yesterday morning I didn't have it in me to pull out new ones, so I donned spectacles.  New glasses that I love but rarely wear because the kids will destroy them.  Everywhere people told me how pretty I looked.  I know it was the glasses because I didn't have time to shower.

3.  Homecoming.  The boys are all home!  You may have read yesterday about the girls weekend being fun but a little bit lonely.  So my whole crew was home last night and eating the very complex crockpot recipe I made for dinner that I pulled together yesterday morning that made me late and ended up in the aforementioned showerless-condition wearing glasses.  The Moroccan turkey stew was too spicy for the kids and I yelled when they spilled milk and "helped" by smearing it all over the kitchen in an attempt to clean it up, but still everyone was home and the chaos was back. 

4.  Power. This morning, millions of Americans are waking up without an electricity and may not have it for days. I remember being in the same situation in the aftermath of Hurricane Ike. This morning I used lights, heat, a microwave, a coffee pot, a hair dryer, a phone charger, a radio, and more that all required power to keep it functioning. What an efficiency gift. 

5.  Kisses.  I am a kissy girl.  I smother all my kids in kisses, and they yell "ONE kiss mommy," and I yell back, "no, LOTS of kisses."  But my favorite kisses are from my husband, and I got to kiss him a lot last night and that makes me happy. 

Solo

I had little bit this weekend while Bray took the boys to the farm.  We had a wonderful time.  It is amazing what you can accomplish when you have only one child in tow.  We went for our first pedicure together, we ran errands, we went to church, we voted, we visited the Aquarium and rode all the rides, we had cupcakes at the nearby bakery before shopping for shoes and groceries.  All in all, it was a blast.

But it was also a little lonely.  My mom was out of town visiting my brother.  Bray was gone with the boys.  My best friend went out of town to see her mother.  I visited a new church.  I did not see any family members or friends over the weekend except for little bit. 

I also noticed something.  There were several daddy-daughter combos at the Aquarium on Sunday.  The men did not wear wedding rings, and I assumed, possibly incorrectly in some cases, that this was "their" weekend with their daughter according to the final divorce decree. 

My heart ached.  Physically ached.  I thought how bittersweet the time must be knowing that they would be separated at the end of the day. 

I know divorce.  My parents divorced when I was 12, just as my seventh grade year wrapped up.  We moved to Texas, my father moved around, and I didn't see him for years.  I know that sometimes divorces are beyond the control of one of the spouses.  So if you are divorced and have been through that, I am so sorry, I really do understand, and this post is not for you. 

But sometimes divorces are not beyond our control.  Sometimes there is no massive abuse or abandonment.  Sometimes, the divorce is entirely within the couple's control. 

Marriage is hard.  My marriage is hard.  We have times of being madly in love and crazy about the other person, and then we have times of just being mad and crazy.  I saw part of Oprah's Life Class last night with Joel and Victoria Osteen and Oprah asked them if they had experienced hard times in their marriage.  They said no.  They said they had experienced "growth" times when his father passed away and when they had babies, but no struggles.  I do not know them and that may be entirely true, but I have had hard times.  There has never been abuse or infidelity or abandonment or anything even close to that, but we have struggled.  We have fought.  Then we got through it. 

I love my husband.  Can I encourage you today if you are struggling in your marriage to make a renewed investment in it?  Would you for a moment envision one weekend after another without your kids or your husband sitting alone with children over Sunday lunch only to have to return them to you at dinner time?  Would you please picture Christmases and birthdays?  Then redouble your efforts to make it work. 

You only have control over you, but you can make a difference in relationship of two.  Pray for your husband today.  Tell him you love him.  Tell him how important your marriage is to you.  Go see someone that has counseled Christian marriages together if you need some perspective. 

But make it work.  For you.  For him.  For your kids.  Solo is okay for a day, but not for a lifetime.

Favorite Quotes These Days

I am terrible about keeping a list of the hysterical things the kids are saying these days.  They come too fast and furious to keep up.  So here's what I can remember lately, though even tonight I forgot a good one and am beating myself up for not having a notepad handy.

The Eldest
(While sitting with him in the bathroom after bedtime) - I love you mommy.  You not an old mommy. 

(After I explained to him we couldn't go to the zoo because he wouldn't stay in his room last night) - I got out of bed to go to the potty - that's a reason!

(During a conversation with Bray about his snake bite) - Bray: I was 12.  Him: What you now?  Bray:  41 (laughter)

He's big on saying he will teach us or someone something.  When I commented that I had to move the outside chair back to the table he said: Maria moved it.  I gonna teach her not to move it. 

(Said in response to a request for action) - Awight, I do dat. 

The Little Lady

(In their room, after bedtime) Let's do the hokey-pokey, okay? C'mon, everybody up.

Dadgummit is okay.  Just no damnit.  (Good night nurse....)

Instead of asking if I paid "for it" she asks if I paid "with it."  So this evening she asked if I paid "with" the toilet paper. 

(She and the baby both have super human senses of smell - said with wrinkled little nose) - I smell somepeen!

The Baby

(While giving me a "haircut") - You no wanna a shot or a needle?

I gonna cut the alligators.  (I literally have no idea where this came from - talk of Captain Hook's crocodile???)

He gives these huge long explanations of everything, paragraphs, including spinning an adventure tale this week as we all sat on the mini-trampoline which was a "pirate ship" that he was flying to Disneyworld and he nearly flipped us over high in the sky to drop us on the aforementioned crocodile. 

(Said in response, enthusiastically, to nearly every question) - Yes, OF COURSE!

Fall Back Into Faith Fridays - Part 5 Family

Welcome back friends.  I love to write about today's topic, but I tend to avoid it because inevitably if I talk about marriage my intensely private husband is implicated! 

Well, I can talk today about marriage in the context of this study without implicating my own marriage one bit, I'm sure much to his relief.  As most of you know, we're studying faith, family, fortune and fun this fall in our study.  Last week was the first week of the family quadrant and hopefully it encouraged you with the promises God has for your family, whatever it looks like.  Today's and next week's study on family may not directly affect all of you, but since these relationships are the primary ones in many of our families, I wanted to tackle the two topics of marriage and kids. 

I shared a little bit of my personal marital challenges yesterday, but today focuses on how faith functions in the midst of your marriage. 

Your marriage may be on one of three different places - you and your husband both hold the same strong personal faith, you and your husband basically hold the same beliefs but he (or you) does not rely on his faith in a strong and daily way, or you and your husband have completely different faiths or he has no faith beliefs at all.  Because the faith in our marriages can be at completely different places, it is hard to write a one size fits all growth guide for faith in the middle of your marriage. 

The most critical piece of information to remember is that you are not responsible for your husband's faith.  You are responsible for your faith.  And you are responsible to make sure your faith shines brightly in your marriage.  Sadly, I think we often are the poorest witness inside our marriage.  If you both have a strong faith in God, you can hold each other accountable and pray for one another and strengthen one another as you grow in the knowledge of the Lord.  But if you are at very different places in your faith walk, or if you hold different beliefs, you can only work on allowing God to grow you closer to Him and then allowing that relationship between you and God to serve as a testimony to your husband who can't join you on your walk at this point in your marriage.  Do not allow the differences in your places of faith to drive a wedge in your marriage.  Instead, do you best to grow more fully in your relationship with God and just pray for your husband. 

I love this prayer for husbands from Renee Swope's A Confident Heart and also from Lysa Terkeurst's Capture His Heart.  This prayer is beautiful because it works regardless of whether your husband is a strong and solid believer or has no interest in God at all.  News flash:  God is interested in him, and always will be, and He is interested in your marriage succeeding.  Here is some of that prayer and I have provided a link to Renee's full free downloadable version as well.   

Head - Father, I ask that You would continually renew my husband’s mind, resulting in a transformed life. Help him bring every thought to Christ and make it obedient to You....(Psalm 119:15, Rom 12:2, 2 Cor.10:5)
Eyes - Lord, keep open my husband’s eyes to spiritual truths that You have for him. Help him to see things as You see them. Please guard his eyes from things that make his heart wander away from you and me. (Psalm 119:18, Psalm 119:37)

Ears - Father, help my husband to hear Your voice clearly. Give him wisdom to recognize your voice with certainty. Protect him from listening to those who aren’t seeking or walking with You....(Is 30:21, 1 Kings 3:9, 1 John 4:1)

Mouth - Jesus, help my husband to speak the truth in love...Let the words he speaks be Yours, not his own...(Psalm 19:14, 119:13, 41:3; Eph 4:15, 4:29; James 1:19)

Heart - Lord, instill in my husband’s heart a desire to seek passionately after You. Teach him to guard his heart with diligence and wisdom. Help him deal with anything in his heart that is not pleasing to You...(Psalm 78:72, 119:10-11; Prov 4:23; 1 Thes 3:13)

Hands - Lord, I pray everything my husband does would be done with his whole heart, serving You rather than man. Seeking to please You alone. I pray You will increase his skills and abilities so that he might bring honor and glory to You...(Psalm 24:3-4, Col 3:23)

Feet - Jesus, I pray my husband would love Your Words and walk in Your ways. Help him walk in a manner that is worthy of You, bearing fruit in every good work. I pray You’d show him how to creatively share your truth with our kids as he does life with them. Father, when he walks through the valley of the shadow of doubt and difficulties, I pray he would fear no evil because He knows that you are with him. (Deut 6:7, 8:6, Col 1:10, Psalm 23:4)

 

For Further Reading:



Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5, Hebrews 13:4-6, Song of Songs 4,

How High Can You Jump?

Who doesn't love a massive bouncy house?

Let me tell you, our family (maybe sans Bray) loves us some giant inflatables. 

Exhibit A: 

Yes that is me and little bit.  I'm not ashamed to admit I executed that move with all of the kids on multiple occasions.

Our three year old triplet birthday party on Saturday at the bounce house place was a success.  We had 21 kids, most of them about three years old, plus their parents.  Luckily, this location had at least 8 different large bouncy houses in a private room so it accommodated the frenzied energy well.  There was jumping of every size and shape you can imagine and some of the adults joined right in with their kiddos like I did.  I actually had fun at the party, though the weeks leading up to the party presented some serious snafus. 

Here's the thing, I am a planner.  I would be a professional planner if it paid enough.  I would really love to be professional party planner and make over guru if I had all the money in the world.  Oh, and a speechwriter.  Oh, and publish a book.  Oh, and start a nonprofit.  But I digress.

So I spent some serious time and effort planning this Pooh and friends party.  The kids love Pooh and his buddies.  They have for years and were even Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet for Halloween when they were one.  I had custom invites done and coordinating juice box labels and cupcake picks. I had special ordered plates to go with balloons to go with table covers to go with napkins to go with souvenir take home Pooh cups that were stuffed with custom Pooh chocolate number 3 "lollipops" and Pooh stamps. 

 

The kids had custom birthday shirts that had a big 3 with Pooh for the baby, Piglet for the little lady, and Tigger for the eldest and everything on and around their birthday matched the custom character for each child.  I even had the lady who customized all the farm birthday stuff from last year fail to come through on all my orders with her (and never reimburse me the significant money I spent with her so I am working on recovering that now through the Florida court system) so I had to find a back up team. 

I did it all because I love to plan parties and I wanted everything to be so perfect for the kids.  I don't get to be with them during the day every day so these special events I try to make extra special. 

But here's the thing:  they are three.  This is not their Sweet Sixteen.  I had both my mother and Bray tell me, after recognizing how beautiful the party was and how adorable everything looked, that maybe I go overboard.  Maybe, just maybe, I could scale back. 

I wonder if we working mommas sometimes end up in our own toxic bouncy house?  We become embroiled in a competition, with ourselves or even with other families, of how high can we jump?  If we can work so hard at work, then we can work hard at having the perfect party - our children deserve at least that, right?  If I did personalized cupcake picks and napkins last year, surely I could add the juice boxes this year?   Maybe I should add just one more item for the take home gift because I want everyone to remember the fun times?    If I had a large scale poster illustrating how they grew over the year last year, then don't I need it to be bigger this year so we can capture the moment?

The juice boxes were tossed in 15 minutes.  The cupcake picks 5 minutes later.  The poster went in the attic next to the previous two.  I am learning, as I devour Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, that the moments richest with blessings are not purchased.  The moments that you jot down in your blessings journal are most frequently free.  Nighttime prayers with folded hands.  Rolling over onto your husband's chest in the morning.  The sun setting behind the slotted clouds letting the filtered light create a masterpiece painting.  Hiding in a fort with your kids.  Smelling the rain and watching a storm roll in. 

The party was great.  I am glad we had one.  I loved seeing friends and their children.  But if each year has to be bigger and better than last year, at some point I won't be able to afford to keep up.  Or it will come at the detriment of something else.  I just came off this 39 Things challenge, so I am actually ashamed of myself for "jumping" right back into the madness as if those three weeks had no affect on my behaviour. 

Years from now the baby box full of mementos from these parties won't be important to the children.  They will want the stories.  Some photographs.  That NICU bracelet that shows how far we have come.  No one is going to frame a juice box and a cupcake pick.  And it's time that us working moms battling guilt stop trying to buy our way out of that dark box.  We work.  That is what it is.  The most precious gift we can give them away from the office is ourselves. 

Fall Back Into Faith Fridays - Part 4 Family

Welcome back!  I hope you're enjoying our Friday study Fall Back Into Faith.  We worked through three weeks of looking at our faith, and I could spend thirty more, but we still have to tackle family, fortune, and fun.  If faith is our foundation, then family is our cornerstone. 

Today is family.  My family has been lots of shapes and sizes over the years.  I was an only child for four years.  At 12, my immediate family went from a family of four to a family of three.  I was fortunate to have all four of my remarkable grandparents until my late 20s.  I have aunts and uncles and cousins.  I have friends and their moms that feel like my own sisters and mothers.  Then I married into a huge family over six years ago and a small family gathering with the Vincents is always over 20 people eating around tables and couches. 

Your family may just be one or two people.  It may be 50 people.  You may feel that your family is extended or small.  Your family may have words like step or half in it like mine does.  Whatever your family looks like, God loves your family. 

Our scripture today comes from II Samuel.  I love this passage:

"The LORD declares to you that the LORD himself will establish a house for you: When your days are over and you rest with your ancestors, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, your own flesh and blood, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever…Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever." Nathan reported to David all the words of this entire revelation.
Then King David went in and sat before the LORD, and he said: "Who am I, Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, Sovereign LORD, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant—and this decree, Sovereign LORD, is for a mere human!  How great you are, Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears. …And now, LORD God, keep forever the promise you have made concerning your servant and his house. Do as you promised, so that your name will be great forever."

Do you ever feel like that?  I do.  Sometimes I look at the amazing blessing of my family and I say to God - WHO AM I?  What is my family?  That you would be so gracious to us, so mindful of us, so faithful to us.  You have brought us so far. 

There was a song decades ago that came out by a Christian band called Truth.  I remember singing it in high school, but it resonates even more today:

We have come so far, you have been so good.

When I trace the road that we have traveled, I've got to tell you Lord.

I look at where we've come, I see where I could have been,

And I need to say again, you've been so good.

Who would have guessed that we would come so far. 

Don't you know that is what King David was singing to the Lord in II Samuel.  Can't you hear him marveling at the generosity of the God he served?  Not only have You brought us this far, but You speak of a future for us.  You speak a promise over our family for years to come. 

I don't know what your family looks like. 
I don't know what struggles your family faces this year. 
I don't know what rich blessings the Lord has poured out in your life. 
I do know that families can be complicated and hard at times.  And I know families can be chaotic and frustrating.  But families are also His precious miraculous gift to us.  Families are the cornerstone for our lives when all else unravels. 

Trust Him with your family today.  In whatever space you are in, good or bad, TRUST HIM WITH YOUR FAMILY.  Trust Him that He will establish a house for you.  God will use your family to establish His kingdom if you allow Him. 

What We Fear for our Children

I had a light bulb moment recently.

I read a friend's blog that talked about how she prayed protection for her children and often worried/feared what might happen to them, but she was being driven to change how she prayed for them.  She's a mom my age with young children and she wants to keep them safe.  I could totally relate. 

One of the momma's that commented on her post said that Beth Moore prayed for her daughters that God would protect them from everything but that which brings Him glory. 

I loved that.  It also really changed how I thought about praying for my children. 

We went through a lot to get pregnant.  Then I had a really high risk pregnancy - I was older and walking around town with three little bits rather than one little bit.  Then we spent a month, longer for little lady, in the NICU.  Plus the kids were born during the massive swine flu epidemic, during RSV season, and sweet girl contracted a dangerous infection while in NICU.  Then we came home on monitors and had nearly every kind of pediatric specialist that exists on our fast dial list those first six months. 

Let me tell you friends, I am already a little predisposed to dancing with fear and protectionism, but even if you were the strongest most fearless mother, that might push you over the edge. 

So I know all about praying for them to be healthy and safe.  And there is nothing wrong with that prayer.  But what if I tweaked it?  What if I prayed first for them to have a close relationship with God?  What if that sometimes meant they went through hard, scary, dark seasons to learn to rely on Him and keep their faces fixed on His? 

Just that thought makes me sad.  Not the reliance part, the dark season part.  We mothers want our children to be free of pain and suffering.  But if they really went through life with absolutely no pain or hardship, who would they be?  What would they know about faith?  How would they understand the unfathomable love and grace and healing and restoration of their Heavenly Father? 

I am still struggling with this concept.  I know the Bible says there is no fear in love because perfect love drives out fear.  Praying a prayer that is born out of a fearfulness could not be a prayer of love and could not be prayer that the Father would want offered up by or for His children. 

So I will continue to pray over them.  But I want first to pray for them to know God and to have a deep and abiding faith in the Saviour who will sustain them through the hard times and rejoice with them in the bountiful times. 

Colossians 1 - For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

Genesis 18 - For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about...what he has promised him.

Genesis 50 - Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.

The Third Year Love Letter

Last year I began what I hope will be an annual tradition.  A love letter to each individual child on the day of their birth.  What a gift, and a challenge, this second year has been for us.  Each one is so completely different than they were this time last year, and yet their personalities are the same.  I look at the sweet faces from last year's love letter and marvel at how far we have come.  They knew a handful of words and now they give full speeches.  They can put on their shoes, underwear and pants and are working on their shirts.  They have definite opinions about what to wear, where to go, and what to eat.  They still love so much.  They love in this huge profound way that spills out on to everything.  They hug and kiss me and Bray and their grandparents and their cousins and everyone else - from fellow students to the lady that cuts their hair to Mickey Mouse.  They love to go and try new things.  I'm so proud of them for their bravery and sense of independence.  Without further ado, here is your third birthday love letter sweet ones. 

My completely addictive big S,

I can not get enough of you sweet boy.  You snuggle and kiss and love everyone with an abandon unrivaled in my experience.  What a gift.  You are so focused on each individual thing that we often call your name without any response because you are so enraptured with whatever is before you.  You are more of a follower than your siblings, but in the best consensus building way.  You will be the peace maker and the people pleaser.  It is one of the reasons I identify with you because I was the same way as a child.  You have these huge eyes that are so beautiful and they engage anyone who has the fortune to catch your gaze.  They brim with tears when you are sad and twinkle with laughter when you are happy.  You are also the least strong-willed of the three of you, and so it is a gift that I have less of a war of the wills with you, especially in this second year when you still did your fair share of boundary testing.  You love your siblings and your family and those you meet.  You are cautious, but wise, and upon doing the necessary due diligence, you will experiment and you can unravel any engineering mystery.  Your big heart is a precious present to your family, and I pray every day that you will continue to grow strong and wise and brave and that God will use you in a mighty way.

All my love,
Mommy
Proverbs 3:1-6

My stunning headstrong L,

You are fierce.  So independent.  So strong willed.  So focused.  I know that we have had many battles this year, and will have more ahead, but I am so delighted that it is my daughter that has such a bright independent strong mind and direction.  You will face battles and challenges in your life my beloved, but you will stare them down and they will shake as you approach.  You are so brave and fearless.  I love that.  The most remarkable thing about your strength is that it carries as its companion empathy and nurturing.  Your teachers told me you are so maternal and will take care of the other students.  It is such a rare gift that you can be single-minded in your approach to tackling living, and yet walk alongside others to care for them and protect them.  Your spirit is as beautiful as your face.  Even with your strong will, you love your family with wild abandon.  We are met with kisses and hugs and you light up the room.  You are a TOTAL girl, and for that I am grateful, with your love of pink and babies and shoes.  Your passion for art and music, coupled with your strength, makes you an extraordinary individual.  I love to watch you dance completely unconcerned by whether you have an audience (of one or thousands as you proved at Disney).  We may collide at times, but I pray that we will be able to teach you respect and obedience without diminishing your strong spirit and zest for life and adventure.

Love to you beautiful girl,
Mommy
Philippians 1:3-11

To my funny loving W,

Oh my brilliant little parrot.  You remember EVERYTHING!  You can say, for good or bad, word-for-word what daddy or I have said.  You make us laugh constantly and even when we probably shouldn't.  You are my little Dennis the Menace.  You are going to get away with so much more than the average kid because you do it with those twinkling blue eyes and a grin splitting your face open.  You are curious about everything.  I have never met a child so hungry for knowledge and so quick to pick up on anything you learn.  I love that you can tell me which fish is a swordfish and which fish is a lionfish just as quickly as you can spell your name.  Your absolute delight in living fills up any space you invade.  And there's never any doubt about your love for everything you encounter because you tell us in no uncertain terms what you love - from the tractor to a cupcake (BOY do you have your momma's sweet tooth!) to a good book to Disneyworld.  It is a revelation to watch the world through your eyes.  You are already becoming a man of honor in your promises to take care of me and to protect your siblings.  I pray that your sensitivity will not be dampened as you grow, that your lust for living will always remain as vibrant as it is today, and that we will be able to guide you, when you run, to run after God. 

I love you so much,
Mommy
Colossians 1:9-12

Wet Weekend

If you were in Houston this weekend, then you likely had your weekend plans rained out.  I don't know what it looked like at your house, but at mine it rained most of the time from 5 pm Friday to 5 pm Sunday.  If you're a latecomer here, you might not grasp the magnitude of that weather report.  If you are an old-timer, then you probably can envision three soon-to-be three year olds (that's right, TOMORROW!) had a serious case of cabin fever. 

Nonetheless, we managed.  Since Bray was still in Canada, the highlight of the weekend was a house full of women Saturday night - I ordered pizza for dinner and my sister-in-law with her two girls came over as did my mom and my best friend.  It's the first time the boys have been outnumbered in a while!  Everyone was going a little stir crazy, but hanging out together helped break the monotony. 

At some point over the course of the weekend, each child crawled into bed with me to hunker down for the night.  At some point in each day, each child smothered me with kisses and hugs.  As well as each other.  At some point in each day, each child tried to sneak into the garage to get a glimpse of their birthday presents (spoiler alert - they are bicycles with helmets) and/or rip open the wrapped presents on the table.  (Aren't I a terrible mom just having them out there like eye candy and not letting them open them until tomorrow - think of it as a patience exercise!??!)  At some point in each day, each child fought a brutal battle over going to bed.  At some point each day, we played a rousing game of Simon Says and dance exercise - the former you're likely familiar with, the latter is a late-comer to our house but a necessary evil in bad weather; it involves putting on some loud pop music and conducting what is the equivalent of jazzercise for toddlers (fun for all!). 

I wish I wrote down everything funny they said.  They are so darn funny right now and I have a terrible memory.  But when you're in the midst of it, you usually don't have a pen and paper, or a video camera.  I will share that earlier this week the baby told me he wanted me to buy TEN babies.  Then he instructed me to tell his father.  When I had done as instructed, I came back and informed him that we likely didn't have enough money to buy ten babies.  To which he replied, "Go to the bank!  And get lollipops too." 

The little lady sings all the time.  Her repertoire is growing and I love to hear her, she has a beautiful voice.  She also came home from school on Friday with a much praised art project from her teacher.  She may be an artist like her grandmother. 

The eldest is all laughs and cries.  It's funny, because I think of the baby as the sensitive one, but the eldest hates reprimands.  He wants to be good and hates it if I get mad.  But he is SO slow.  Methodical is the positive spin, but it translates to slow.  He is quick to laugh though and we spent time on my lap having a joke-telling, noise-making, tickle-fest heck of a time.  That sweet boy is just addictive. 

I did love yesterday morning.  The rain was misting down and the breeze blew in with temperatures dropping.  Ever since the eldest picked up the habit of drinking coffee with grandfather at the farm, he wants it every weekend.  When I asked him what he wanted to do, he told me he wanted to drink coffee outside.  The others, in their finest mimic state, heartily concurred.  So I made coffee, theirs heavy on the milk and sugar, and we all sat outside together in the mist drinking our coffee.  I wish I could capture these moments forever.

I can not believe tomorrow they will be three.  Saturday is their Pooh and Friends party and they are counting down the minutes.  Time flies friends, time flies. 

Be Careful What You Write....

In last Friday's Fall Back Into Faith post I talked about the joy of our faith and indicated I would write about our faith in a season of trials next Friday.  Then on Sunday I agreed to write to posts about fear for my amazing friend's devotional.

Then my week unraveled.  Did this happen because God wanted me to have fresh material with lots of fear and trials or because the devil would rather I be too overwhelmed to write words God might use?  Or neither? 

In any event, it has been a really hard week. 

Sunday, I got some disturbing health news from my father.  Monday, I got some disturbing work news at my job.  Tuesday, my nanny fell dramatically ill, and I had to rush home before she passed out.  Wednesday, Bray left for Canada for five days.

I was worried.  Fearful.  Alone.  Overwhelmed. 

I had the chance to work for about two hours yesterday morning between taking the kids to school and running to pick them and then tried to manage a couple of conference calls from home while keeping three toddlers quiet.  Ha.  For all my self-righteousness about not letting the children watch television, I now apologize.  If I were a stay at home or single mom, I would use the television a lot more than I do now.  I used it yesterday just to get through a 10 minute call. 

But here's the cool thing.  God always has an object lesson.  He sent me mine at the end of the day.  I made dinner, ate with the kids, played outside, gave baths, and then we watched a few minutes of a Disney movie together.  We all marched off to their room at bedtime.  Normally, I get on my knees with each child, ask for their prayer requests, and say prayers.  Last night, I suggested we all sit in a circle in the middle of the floor and say prayers.  They were thrilled.  Plus, I offered up some prayer requests of my own - we needed to pray for our nanny who was so sick and we needed to pray for daddy, grandfather, and uncle who were in Canada for the week.  Then, instead of folding our hands in prayer, I suggested we hold hands in the circle.  They were ecstatic about this proposal and we all held hands and prayed. 

There is this verse in the Bible, it's found in Matthew 18, and it says where two or more are gathered in God's name, there He is in the midst of them. 

That scripture emblazoned itself on my mind's eye as we prayed.  I instantly felt God there. Holding hands with my three precious children and lifting up our requests to God I was not worried or fearful or alone or overwhelmed.  I had God on my side.  I had three amazing children praying with me as they learn daily about God and His love. 

They crawled into their beds.  I told them stories and sang them songs as I sat in the rocker in their nursery that I have used to feed and comfort them since they came home from the hospital.  They fell asleep as I sang old hymns.  The one I left them with, and that stayed with me, is this: 

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer