Fall Back Into Faith Fridays - Part 10 Fun

I can't believe our fall study is almost over!  We've tackled Faith, Family, Fortune, and now, in the last part of Fall Back Into Faith, we take these final weeks to tackle FUN!  What fun!  Also, drum roll please, my new website goes live Monday.  There will be some fun giveaways and some series I'm rolling out, so I will try to make sure this redirects to what will be www.gindivincent.com next week!

I think a lot of folks, even those that have had a longstanding relationship with God, disassociate their faith and fun.  That's a shame because they should work hand in hand and your faith should inform the decisions you make in the "fun" aspects of your life. 

Today we're going to look at some Christianity misconceptions about what a faith-filled life looks like.  Next week we'll take a look at things to consider when you're having "fun," and our last week will focus on friendships, one of my favorite topics!

Here are Two Common Myths About Christianity: 

(1) If you’re a Christian, then life will be all suffering (using scripture like II Timothy 1:8 in a silo);

(2) If you’re a Christian, then life will be all blessings (using scripture like I Chronicles 4:10 in a silo).

 

God gives us extraordinary joy that could not come outside of following Him   Did you know that there are 72 references to suffering and 242 references to joy in scripture?  God is a fan of fun.  I want everyone just to hear that statement.  My grandaddy minister, who was one of the funniest people I've ever known, always gave great examples of God's sense of humor that started with the duck-billed platypus and ended with his hair loss!  However, the road is not joy-filled all the time.  The really key thing to remember is that if you are living in a time of blessing or of suffering neither, that fact alone does not reflect the depth (or lack thereof) of your walk with God. 

 

So today, let's just look at what Scripture shares about God's love of fun, and remember that Jesus' first miracle was performed at a wedding feast!  Talk about fun!

 

Zechariah 8 - This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Once again men and women of ripe old age will sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each of them with cane in hand because of their age. The city streets will be filled with boys and girls playing there….” This is what the LORD Almighty says: “The fasts of the fourth, fifth, seventh and tenth months will become joyful and glad occasions and happy festivals for Judah. Therefore love truth and peace.”

 

Ecclesiastes 8 - So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun….

Nehemiah 12 - At the dedication of the wall of Jerusalem, the Levites were sought out from where they lived and were brought to Jerusalem to celebrate joyfully the dedication with songs of thanksgiving and with the music of cymbals, harps and lyres. The musicians also were brought together from the region around Jerusalem.

Esther 8 - And the city of Susa held a joyous celebration. For the Jews it was a time of happiness and joy, gladness and honor. In every province and in every city to which the edict of the king came, there was joy and gladness among the Jews, with feasting and celebrating.

Deuteronomy 16 - Be joyful at your festival—you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, and the Levites, the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns. For seven days celebrate the festival to the LORD your God at the place the LORD will choose. For the LORD your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete.

Psalm 149 - Let Israel rejoice in their Maker; let the people of Zion be glad in their King. Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp. For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory. Let his faithful people rejoice in this honor and sing for joy on their beds.

 

{See also the Parable of the Lost Son, Luke 15 (when he came near the house, he heard music and dancing);  and Jesus’ first miracle at Cana, John 2 (the wedding feast!).}

Big Decisions - Part 2

I wrote yesterday about this season of big decisions.  I crave not only security in my life, but I also crave KNOWING.  I want to know the outcome.  I want to plan it and plan for it.  The interlude period, when I know decisions must be made but I don't know what awaits across the threshhold, drives me crazy.  No matter what it is.  Sometimes the decision doesn't even directly affect me, but I have to help make it.  It's the decision making, that will it be yes or no, that unsettles me. 

The other problem is that, at times, I doubt God despite my best efforts not to.  I think sometimes people of faith, or even people of no faith, think that if you follow where God leads you won't be as happy if you walked your own path.  Can I just say, that's insane.  This amazing, full of grace, loving, faithful, patient God is not going to take you down a path that will depress you. 

So how to pray in this interim period.  I keep praying those prayers for wisdom and for discernment and for stillness that I prayed yesterday. I am also praying for a recognition of how much BIGGER He is than me and how He craves to lead me into a good land.

Ephesians 1, one of my favorite passages, says, "I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. "  (Don't you love that Paul says, "I keep asking?"  It's always been a process.)

I know I shared Psalm 37 yesterday, but doesn't it fit everyday as we pray for God to lead us and to act? "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him." 

And then this:

For when you did awesome things that we did not expect,   
you came down, and the mountains trembled before you.

Since ancient times no one has heard,
no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

(Isaiah 64)

Thursday I'm going to share the final portion of my prayers and really focus on the "hopes and dreams" part of it all.  This book called Circle Makers by Mark Batterson is building on so much of what I'm seeing partially revealed on God's bigger plan.  Bigger than a single yes or no decision.  Because all of this, it's all bigger than one decision.  It's building to a crescendo. 

And I know this one thing, when I don't have any words to pray, when the wisdom seems a distant prize, I still can pray and trust His wisdom to find the right words: 

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed....We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8)

Big Decisions - Part 1

We have some big decisions to make.  Bigger than normal.  I'm not always a fan of big decisions.  They are hard.  Even the good ones.  I worry I will make the wrong decision.  I often pray God will close all the doors except the one I am supposed to walk through so I don't make a mistake. 

But here's the thing:  that's a cop out.  That route allows me to avoid responsibility.  That "only one door" prayer doesn't require me to sit still and listen for God's voice.  If there's no "choice," then I don't have to read the Bible or pray hard or seek the Godly counsel of others because everything is done for me. 

The other problem with that is maybe the answer is stay put.  Maybe I should not select the one available option because I might be required to wait.  The decision might be no decision, for now. 

As I face these big decisions, I think of all the life decisions that I have been confronted with or my friends and family have had to face.  I remember my mother having to make a decision about maintaining life sustaining treatments for my end-stage Alzheimer's grandmother.  She is possibly the most amazing person that I have ever encountered in my entire life and, had it been up to me, I probably would have made a different decision because I would have been unable to let go.  Selfishly, and without God's guidance, I would have just kept her here with me, even though I knew she was already gone.  One of my dearest friends had to make the choice to stay in her marriage after one of the most trust-breaking, heart-aching breaches of a marriage I have encountered.  Selfishly, and without God's guidance, I would have run for the hills without praying and understanding that redemption for him and my family was even an option.  She made the better choice and her life and their family stands in testament to her allowing God to make the choice.  I moved cities, and left a wonderful life behind me, including a person I thought I would marry, because God essentially picked my resistant butt up and relocated me because He KNEW this was His plan for me.  And I have known so much more fulfillment, from finding the real man God had for me to marry to job success I couldn't have fathomed, because I let God do the decision making. 

So this week I am praying.  I am studying what God has to say about all of this, stuff like His direction for wisdom and peace, and I am sitting quietly to know better what I should decide in the months ahead. 

I write this because maybe you have a big decision too.  Maybe you would rather skip out on the hard decisions than fully participate with the leading of God's guidance and revelation.  I know how nerve-wracking it can be.  As a girl who is a huge lover of security and stability, change decisions can unnerve me.  But they can also unleash me.  These choices can untie me from the sameness of my safety zone and release me to do what God has planned.  They can wake me up from the coma of continuity.  They drive me to know God more and to listen constantly and intently to what He calls me to do. 

I pray for wisdom:  God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore.  (I Kings 4)
I pray for discernment:   “Now, O Lord my God, you have made your servant king...But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong." (I Kings 3)
I pray for stillness:  Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.  (Psalm 37)

Vote America and Table Grace

I had planned on writing this post about voting because I actually love politics and have voted in every election since I could (which happened to be 1992 - yikes!).  And I still do want to mention it because I think it is such a valuable part of being an American.  But I also have to mention the amazing gift that was Table Grace last night as well.

Little bit and I voted together weekend before last when the boys were gone.  Early voting has been nuts here in Texas, lines every single day, but luckily we only had to wait about 20 minutes to vote.  I talked to her about what voting is and how everyone has different opinions but that is what makes our country great and everyone should vote.  Little bit took baby and proudly displayed our voting slip on the way out: 

I love what Beth Moore wrote on her blog yesterday - I love that it wasn't about a candidate but rather but what we, as God's people, could pray for the candidates.  I encourage you to read some of the scriptures and prayers that were left.  There's a hymn that I can still hear my Grandaddy and Mimi singing at the piano, harmonizing their voices.  Those words are looping through my head today:

 

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

 

No matter who you support, I hope you take this as encouragement - our hope is only in one man.  By way of transition from Vote America to Table Grace, check this out:



This is one of the AMAZING tables at Crosspoint Church's Table Grace last night.  I desperately wanted to go because Jen Hatmaker was serving as the keynote speaker, but they were SOLD OUT!  A darling friend of mine that I met in North Carolina at SheSpeaks! (of all places) had an extra ticket last minute, and called yesterday morning to invite me.  As fate would have it, I had dinner already in the crock pot before I left for work and Bray said he could manage so I went.  Before Jen spoke, we had dinner and the folks all decorated tables.  Talk about a million ideas for you Pinterest-ers.  The above table's theme featured "Vote America," but the over 50 tables featured themes from tea time to adoption.  Y'all, these ladies brought everything from the linens to the tableware, glassware, place cards, and favors!  Here's some of the really cool ideas.

 

A"camping" theme with a backpack centerpiece and the cute "favors" were the ingredients for s'mores in a jar, adorable!

 

A "French" picnic theme but the place cards were written into the napkin rings with a sprig and the favors were take home TREES!

 

 

There was a lot of Christmas, which I loved!  Here's two - the first one had flocked trees as the centerpiece with Christmas china and the favors were mini Christmas snow globes in tea cups!  The second theme was "presents" and had gorgeous presents as centerpieces with a Christmas frame in an open "present" as favors/place cards. 

 

 

 

 

Here's a few more for your viewing pleasure, I wish I could post ALL 58!

(From top to bottom:  Beach theme with shells on the plates and burlap covered chairs, Jesus "Saves" themes with coupons as chargers and place cards and a grocery basket full as a centerpiece, Princess theme with castle centerpieces and place cards on napkins, ice cream cone theme with precious felt ice cream scoops as favors and ice cream tubs/cones/toppings in jars as a centerpiece, Thanksgiving theme with these pretty wicker chairs with the "place cards" as names strung on the back of the chair, and Christmas china theme all with reds and golds which I love!)

 

As much as this all made my little Martha Stewart heart swoon, nothing prepared me for the absolutely mind blowing message Jen Hatmaker brought.  She has an incredible ability to be funny and relatable and yet totally grounded in the Bible and the message Jesus has to offer.  As many times as I have heard a sermon on the Samaritan woman, I had never heard it taught like this.  One of the many things that really stuck with me was her discussion of the woman's reaction after Jesus acknowledged that she had been married five times and was yet living with a sixth man.  Jen said, Jesus did not overlook her sin, but neither did He overreact.  As a result, instead of her hiding in shame, do you know what she did?  She ran and told the village, which clearly had ostracized her for her wanton-ness, that this MUST BE THE SAVIOUR.  And because of that, Jesus stayed for two days, despite all social conventions which demanded He stay away from Samaria, and many came to know Him.  He used a woman, with a immoral background, as a mighty tool and also lavished on her grace to know redemption and acceptance.  Such a powerful story.  If you ever have a chance to hear her teach, you must go.  



Solo

I had little bit this weekend while Bray took the boys to the farm.  We had a wonderful time.  It is amazing what you can accomplish when you have only one child in tow.  We went for our first pedicure together, we ran errands, we went to church, we voted, we visited the Aquarium and rode all the rides, we had cupcakes at the nearby bakery before shopping for shoes and groceries.  All in all, it was a blast.

But it was also a little lonely.  My mom was out of town visiting my brother.  Bray was gone with the boys.  My best friend went out of town to see her mother.  I visited a new church.  I did not see any family members or friends over the weekend except for little bit. 

I also noticed something.  There were several daddy-daughter combos at the Aquarium on Sunday.  The men did not wear wedding rings, and I assumed, possibly incorrectly in some cases, that this was "their" weekend with their daughter according to the final divorce decree. 

My heart ached.  Physically ached.  I thought how bittersweet the time must be knowing that they would be separated at the end of the day. 

I know divorce.  My parents divorced when I was 12, just as my seventh grade year wrapped up.  We moved to Texas, my father moved around, and I didn't see him for years.  I know that sometimes divorces are beyond the control of one of the spouses.  So if you are divorced and have been through that, I am so sorry, I really do understand, and this post is not for you. 

But sometimes divorces are not beyond our control.  Sometimes there is no massive abuse or abandonment.  Sometimes, the divorce is entirely within the couple's control. 

Marriage is hard.  My marriage is hard.  We have times of being madly in love and crazy about the other person, and then we have times of just being mad and crazy.  I saw part of Oprah's Life Class last night with Joel and Victoria Osteen and Oprah asked them if they had experienced hard times in their marriage.  They said no.  They said they had experienced "growth" times when his father passed away and when they had babies, but no struggles.  I do not know them and that may be entirely true, but I have had hard times.  There has never been abuse or infidelity or abandonment or anything even close to that, but we have struggled.  We have fought.  Then we got through it. 

I love my husband.  Can I encourage you today if you are struggling in your marriage to make a renewed investment in it?  Would you for a moment envision one weekend after another without your kids or your husband sitting alone with children over Sunday lunch only to have to return them to you at dinner time?  Would you please picture Christmases and birthdays?  Then redouble your efforts to make it work. 

You only have control over you, but you can make a difference in relationship of two.  Pray for your husband today.  Tell him you love him.  Tell him how important your marriage is to you.  Go see someone that has counseled Christian marriages together if you need some perspective. 

But make it work.  For you.  For him.  For your kids.  Solo is okay for a day, but not for a lifetime.

Fall Back Into Faith Fridays - Part 7 Fortune

Well friends, we're half way through our Fall Back Into Faith study.  We have covered faith and family and now we're moving on to fortune.  If faith is our foundation, and family is our cornerstone, fortune is essentially what we do.  By fortune, I mean what we do to make money and what we do with our money. 

So over the course of the next three weeks we will focus on three areas God instructs us: Do What God Has Called You/Gifted You To Do and Acknowledge It Comes From Him; Work Hard and In a Manner Reflecting Him; and, Be Generous With What God Has Given You. 

Today is a hard topic for me to tackle.  Sometimes we work at a job because it pays the bills but not because we feel "called" to work there.  While we certainly should not work somewhere that God clearly does not want us to work, we also need to realize that we may have been placed in the position we are in because God has a very specific purpose for us to impact the lives of those we encounter. 

Pray about where you need to be, where God is calling you, but simultaneously pray over where you are today.  The steps you take and the paths you cross are ordained by God to do a work for His kingdom.  You can be a positive force where you sit today.  I constantly catch myself trying to figure out what my life, and my family's life, will look like two, five, ten years from now.  I make these plans and forget to include God. 

If you are a planner, you may be able to identify.  What if instead of looking ten years out we did this:  (1) pray that God would direct our paths today and in the days to come so that we could follow where He leads, and then (2) look at the next ten HOURS instead.  What does God have for me today?  How can I be a blessing?  How can I work to best reflect HIM?

We are told from the beginning to the end of the Bible that God has prepared us to do good work and he will establish the work of our hands, but we must at all times acknowledge that it is He at work in us.  Ephesians 2 says, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do," and Jeremiah 29 shares, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you…'"

The plans should be God's.  We have to spend time listening so we can participate in His work.  Then, remember that all we have comes from God and the work, and relative wealth it creates, is ultimately His.  Deuteronomy 8 cautions,  "Beware that you do not forget the LORD your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgments, and His statutes which I command you today, lest—when you have eaten and are full, and have built beautiful houses and dwell in them; and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and your gold are multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied; when your heart is lifted up, and you forget the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage; who led you through that great and terrible wilderness, in which were fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty land where there was no water; who brought water for you out of the flinty rock; who fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end— then you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth.  And you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day."

My prayer for me, and for you, today is that of David's in Psalm 90:

May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;

establish the work of our hands for us—

yes, establish the work of our hands.

 

Further Reading:  Deuteronomy 8; Psalm 90; Colossians 3; Deuteronomy 30

Girlfriends Rock

First of all let me say thanks to the amazing women over at Peanut Butter on the Keyboard for allowing me the opportunity to Guest Post today - y'all head over there and check it out. 

Next up let me say how fun yesterday was.  One of my most precious friends is turning 40 and I had the wonderful opportunity to bring some of her friends together for lunch.  I posted a few pics of the fun outing yesterday, but I have to say what an incredible time it was to gather all these busy working women together to celebrate.  That is ultimately what I want this blog to be about and why I'm so excited about the new website launching next month.  It will really give us busy working women a way to connect when we can't sneak away from the office for an hour and a half lunch.  Let's just recreate it in cyberspace here until we can connect in person again, which is always the best way to connect. 

This is my best friend in the wide world - don't know what I would do without her.  What a treat to get to see her at a party on Saturday and then again at this lunch.  We've been through all sorts of crazy stuff together and I can't imagine getting through the nuttiness of life without her.  She's like the sister I never had. 

This is the birthday girl.  We've been friends for nearly a decade and in 2003 we took a trip to Italy together.  The last guy I kissed before I met Bray was on my last night on that Italy trip with Julie.  We've been to each other's weddings, we've been to funerals, we've been to baby showers, and clearly we've been across the ocean.  She has to brush her teeth all the time and I can't stand to hear people brush their teeth - it was a funny trip.  We both get grumpy when we're hungry.  Her son and my kids are a month apart.  We're both "hunting widows" this season.  What a darling friend. 

I interviewed several women for my book yesterday and, as they shared their tips on the best leadership skills, one woman's piece of advice really struck me.  She said the leadership quality she admired most was the ability to really listen.  To sit still and listen to what the other person has to say.  Don't sit there thinking of your witty reply or persuasive rebuttal while they're still talking.  Take in what they have to say.  I loved this.  I sat at a table full of those kinds of listeners yesterday. What a rare gift. 

I also can't finish today's post without mentioning we went to take our annual pumpkin patch pictures yesterday morning.  Y'all it is 85 degrees in Texas and we were in sweaters to pretend we actually lived somewhere in October where pumpkin patches required sweaters.  We do this every October to capture how the kids grow.  Before the photographer arrived, I snapped a couple of iPhone shots of the kids and when I said I was going to get a few "shots," the baby ask me what we were shooting?  He was very concerned there would be guns involved.  Clearly his father is a hunter. 

 What a gift yesterday was.  I'm so thankful. 

Jump!

I am in the middle of writing a book about women and leadership.  In the midst of that, it seems everything I read has something to do with women and leadership or women and fulfillment or women and success. 

One thing I read, and hear, over and over again is that a predictor of a woman's ability to successfully lead is her ability to take risks. 

I used to take risks.  I've grown safe.  Happily ensconced in my little safe place, change suddenly makes me tremble. 

Even as I polled friends, this fear of failing can paralyze them from taking the risk required in order to achieve success. 

Then I read a post from Lisa-Jo Baker this morning.  She quotes from Angie's Smith's What Women Fear: 

“If what we are being called to do is in God’s will for us, we truly can’t fail. …What I mean is that we simply may not have the same meaning as God for the word “failure.” To me failure means it doesn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. To God it means I didn’t pick up the brush. Assuming God is calling you to do something, you will fail by being disobedient, not be a lack of success at the task.”

Then Baker says this, "The calling IS the success." 

Did anyone else need that swift kick in the pants this Monday morning? 

So let's jump off that cliff, not foolishly, but following where the calling leads.  I am going to rely on God to strip away this ingrained notion of what failure looks like and realize that in following Him I have accomplished success. 

Heartbeats

I heard your heartbeats while you were still in your mommy.

On the way into church Sunday morning, we passed one of my favorite pastors.  He visited me several times at the hospital as I counted down the bed rest days.  He even came the day I was scheduled for an emergency c-section, not knowing the news yet.  I remember him standing in a circle holding hands around my bed, right after the doctor delivered the news, with my husband and my father and stepmom who had just drove all night to pray for the children unborn. 

When he saw the kids this morning they ran up to him and gave him a hug and he said, "I heard your heartbeats while you were still in your mommy." 

It was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears. 

You see, that statement brought back all those memories of hope and nervous anticipation and worry and excitement.  I remember him being in the room while the fetal monitors belted out the babies out-of-sync beats like a beautiful song.  But this morning, yesterday's Sunday morning, it was all I could do to crawl out of the hole to get us to church. 

I have struggled the past few months.  As the weeks pass, ever more so acutely.  I feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of mothering three toddlers/preschoolers.  The crush of doing things wrong lays like a Scarlett A across my breast.  The pressure of doing things right makes me want to flee. 

For good or for bad, I married in my thirties and had the triplets after I turned 36.  I had a number of years of single, and even married, freedom.  I made a comfortable living and spent frivolously on fancy brunches and tailored new suits.  I had a calendar full of fun events and friends to call on a moment's notice.  I zipped up my size 8 dresses and when I struggled with my weight it was never with a post-pregnancy belly bulge.  When I ran a few days late to the hairdresser, it was never to cover a nearly full head of grey hair. 

I had years of strong faith and consistent service to my Lord, but there were years of distance in my relationship with Christ and obligated religion. 

Sometimes, I find the devil uses memories of days gone by to create discontentment and depression. 

And now, as God has expanded my ministry and writing/speaking opportunities this year, I struggle more than ever.  Vehement questions of What Am I DOING? swirl through my head as I not only wonder how I could possibly take on one more thing but also wonder who am I to add my voice to those of stronger Christian women speaking and writing today. 

And this weekend, besieged and befuddled, I just wanted to move away, under a new name, a live for a time in a gorgeous remodeled apartment full of breakables where I would not be covered in pee, and poop, and peanut butter, and vomit, and paint.  A land where my personal trainer came in the morning and my chef prepared delicious 200 calorie meals at night.  A land where I slept through the night and never found myself kicked out bed because it rationally only holds four, not five, people. 

It was that daydream popped by those Sunday morning words that spoke of unborn heartbeats and hopeful anticipation and prayers covering our days to come.  I walked into church and heard this refrain sung over and over again, "Your love never fails, it never gives up, It never runs out on me." 

As I processed the magnitude of that love of the Father, over His children far more disobedient than my own, the pastor offered this, "The cross of Christ will not let you down, but neither will it let you off." 

Christianity does not give you a hall pass to be self-indulgent and irresponsible.  It will never condone weakness when you have access to a 24-hour, 7-day-a-week supply of the most unfathomable power supply ever to exist.  Instead, our ever patient Father says He will hold us up and strengthen us so that we can keep going.  But more than propping us up, He walks with us through the battlefields - bruised but not beaten, victorious not victims. 

I do not get a pass to whine and hold a pity party and wallow in selfishness and sin.  I do get a pass to call in back up.  I get to say I have nothing left, nothing to hold it together and pull this really hard motherhood thing off, HELP please.  And help comes. 

Psalm 121 - I lift up my eyes to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber.

Isaiah 40 - Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Galatians 5 - You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you.

Matthew 11 -  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Marriage is a Team Sport

Tomorrow's Fall Back Into Faith will highlight faith and marriage, and as I prepared, my mind's hamster wheel started spinning.  Well, preparing tomorrow's post AND watching Date Night triggered the spinning. 

Have you seen this movie?  It's hysterical.  Tina Fey and Steve Carrell go out for a "fancy" date night in Manhattan and end up getting chased around by criminals.  In between all the hilarity, there are some golden nuggets about marriage. 

My favorite scene unfolds in the middle of the movie.  The husband drives as they "discuss" an encounter they just had.  I tried earnestly, to no avail, to find the clip of this scene because me typing the dialogue will not do it justice (rent this movie if you're married with kids!).   The husband asks why she "lit up like a sparkly sparkle" for a super hot guy played by Mark Wahlberg.  In response, she says, "Oh yeah right, I keep forgetting to light up for you!  Why is that?"  Then she launches into a rant about the endless list of things she has to do when she gets home from work that include much of what each of us working wives and moms face - making meals, picking up kids, running kids to soccer, doing laundry, washing dishes, getting kids bathed and ready for bed. 

The husband has a total movie perfect response:  I know you work hard honey.  But you know what would make all the hard work easier?  ME!  If you would just trust me enough to handle things once in a while, but no, you don't, you have to do it all yourself, YOUR way!  You've got me screwing up before I even have a chance to come through for you.  If you would just let me do something for you, I think I would surprise you, I really think I would.  I KNOW I WOULD. 

I hit pause.  Rewound.  Listened to that again.  A screaming indictment.

You can just feel the frustration poring out of each of their bodies as she drowns in the busyness and drudgery of suburbia and he battles a growing sense of stress and disconnectedness and ineptitude. 

I will admit, I do things a certain way.  I have been this way my whole life.  Then I become entirely overwhelmed by all the things on my task list.  This morning I had two hours to get the kids to the doctor for their flu shot, drop them at school, return three things at different stores, fill the car with gas, pick up dry cleaning, and get back to their school for a parent storytime.  Since making an appearance at the school storytime for parents (that clearly do not work) meant getting to the office at noon, I have to work late tonight to play catch up.  That means I won't have time tonight to tick a few more things of my laundry list.

I don't know about you, but I stay in an almost constant state of near-depletion. 

But I have a partner.  He wants to help.  Plus, he's pretty good at it.  He does things differently than I do, no doubt, but the kids adore their father and I do too. 

I heard a mom correct another mom the other day when she said her husband was babysitting the kids - she said, "He's not babysitting.  They are HIS kids too." 

I wrote a post a while back based on wise words from my husband - he said, I don't mind you telling me to go to San Antonio, I just don't want you telling me how to get there. 

So today is just a gentle reminder for those of you who struggle with the same things that I do in my married with kids life.  Trust your husband to handle things once in a while.  And then let him do it.  His way.  Marriage, especially one with kids, IS a team sport. 

Sweet friend

I had a couple of posts in mind for today.  One about work.  One about marriage.  Waking up with a little precious three year old in my arms gave me plenty of material.  But then I felt God telling me to write about my sweet friend. 

This amazing woman became a friend of mine in 2004 when we shared a Pilates trainer.  She had this radical transformation in her faith and went from being a casual work out buddy to a strong sister in the faith and accountability partner.  She prayed a prayer of commitment over me and my marriage just moments before I walked down the aisle.  She prayed with me during the infertility years.  And then during the NICU time.  I have prayed with her as she reconnected to her faith and saw the obstacles she would face in that return.  She had the wind knocked out of her a couple of years ago when her youngest daughter, then 4, was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer.  We prayed over and over again, and still do, for that sweet one who has now been in remission since last fall.  She is also an aspiring writer, well she's an actual published writer, and we had the great joy of attending a conference together this summer as God revealed just one more page of what we should write. 

I know that many of you who read this little blog pray.  I have been somewhat of a slacker connecting with her this past month as she enters an exciting but unnerving new season.  She is pregnant.  And due in March.  Her husband just moved overseas as his job relocated him for some amount of time (likely one to two years).  She has gone through this before, a few years ago, but never pregnant and with a child that regularly gets cancer check-ups.  She is still stateside until their family visas come through.  When she moves, likely sometime before year end, she will be overseas, using a new medical system, having a new baby, away from family and friends, oh and she will have to home school her two school-aged daughters as she bounces back from having a baby since there is no international school available to them. 

Did your jaw just drop open?  Well mine did.  Then I dropped to my knees.  She is one of the most gifted, uplifting, truth-speaking, funniest, coolest girls in town.  I am going to miss her like nobody's business.  But I know God is doing this huge amazing work in her life, and I would never stand in the way of that. 

So would you pray for her today?  Would you pray specifically that their paperwork would finish quickly so their family could be reunited, and that God would work in this crazy miraculous way to orchestrate it all so the results would even be a testament to the people at the company working on it?  Would you pray for an overwhelming sense of love and protection and peace and assurance over her and her two girls as they are without a husband and daddy right now?  And would you pray for her husband, that he would do this rock star job and be such an acknowledged leader and talent at his company, and that he would feel secure and strong until he has his family back under one roof? 

I think it is crazy cool for the church community to be able to band together to lift up one of its own and see the unfathomable results that follow.  I thought you might join me for this miracle ride.  Here is what I am praying over her today:

Col. 1 -  We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people...For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

Deut. 1 - The Lord our God said to us at Horeb, “You have stayed long enough at this mountain....See, I have given you this land. Go in and take possession of the land the Lord swore he would give to your fathers—to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—and to their descendants after them.”

Eph. 3 - For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

How High Can You Jump?

Who doesn't love a massive bouncy house?

Let me tell you, our family (maybe sans Bray) loves us some giant inflatables. 

Exhibit A: 

Yes that is me and little bit.  I'm not ashamed to admit I executed that move with all of the kids on multiple occasions.

Our three year old triplet birthday party on Saturday at the bounce house place was a success.  We had 21 kids, most of them about three years old, plus their parents.  Luckily, this location had at least 8 different large bouncy houses in a private room so it accommodated the frenzied energy well.  There was jumping of every size and shape you can imagine and some of the adults joined right in with their kiddos like I did.  I actually had fun at the party, though the weeks leading up to the party presented some serious snafus. 

Here's the thing, I am a planner.  I would be a professional planner if it paid enough.  I would really love to be professional party planner and make over guru if I had all the money in the world.  Oh, and a speechwriter.  Oh, and publish a book.  Oh, and start a nonprofit.  But I digress.

So I spent some serious time and effort planning this Pooh and friends party.  The kids love Pooh and his buddies.  They have for years and were even Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet for Halloween when they were one.  I had custom invites done and coordinating juice box labels and cupcake picks. I had special ordered plates to go with balloons to go with table covers to go with napkins to go with souvenir take home Pooh cups that were stuffed with custom Pooh chocolate number 3 "lollipops" and Pooh stamps. 

 

The kids had custom birthday shirts that had a big 3 with Pooh for the baby, Piglet for the little lady, and Tigger for the eldest and everything on and around their birthday matched the custom character for each child.  I even had the lady who customized all the farm birthday stuff from last year fail to come through on all my orders with her (and never reimburse me the significant money I spent with her so I am working on recovering that now through the Florida court system) so I had to find a back up team. 

I did it all because I love to plan parties and I wanted everything to be so perfect for the kids.  I don't get to be with them during the day every day so these special events I try to make extra special. 

But here's the thing:  they are three.  This is not their Sweet Sixteen.  I had both my mother and Bray tell me, after recognizing how beautiful the party was and how adorable everything looked, that maybe I go overboard.  Maybe, just maybe, I could scale back. 

I wonder if we working mommas sometimes end up in our own toxic bouncy house?  We become embroiled in a competition, with ourselves or even with other families, of how high can we jump?  If we can work so hard at work, then we can work hard at having the perfect party - our children deserve at least that, right?  If I did personalized cupcake picks and napkins last year, surely I could add the juice boxes this year?   Maybe I should add just one more item for the take home gift because I want everyone to remember the fun times?    If I had a large scale poster illustrating how they grew over the year last year, then don't I need it to be bigger this year so we can capture the moment?

The juice boxes were tossed in 15 minutes.  The cupcake picks 5 minutes later.  The poster went in the attic next to the previous two.  I am learning, as I devour Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, that the moments richest with blessings are not purchased.  The moments that you jot down in your blessings journal are most frequently free.  Nighttime prayers with folded hands.  Rolling over onto your husband's chest in the morning.  The sun setting behind the slotted clouds letting the filtered light create a masterpiece painting.  Hiding in a fort with your kids.  Smelling the rain and watching a storm roll in. 

The party was great.  I am glad we had one.  I loved seeing friends and their children.  But if each year has to be bigger and better than last year, at some point I won't be able to afford to keep up.  Or it will come at the detriment of something else.  I just came off this 39 Things challenge, so I am actually ashamed of myself for "jumping" right back into the madness as if those three weeks had no affect on my behaviour. 

Years from now the baby box full of mementos from these parties won't be important to the children.  They will want the stories.  Some photographs.  That NICU bracelet that shows how far we have come.  No one is going to frame a juice box and a cupcake pick.  And it's time that us working moms battling guilt stop trying to buy our way out of that dark box.  We work.  That is what it is.  The most precious gift we can give them away from the office is ourselves. 

Body Battles

I had a great massage on Saturday.

I love massages.  I rarely get them, but I love that hour when I do.  I always think the same thing when I'm getting a massage:  my hips and thighs and every other inch of my body that I criticize must love this time.  Those moments are the only few out of my life they receive some unconditional lovin'.  That may be the only time my "problem areas" relax without judgment and without being battleground #1.  The rest of the time I am weighing and measuring and eating and starving and exercising and "taking a break" and criticizing and turning the lights down and finding extra-strength Spanx.

If you are new to this community, you may have missed the posts on my annual battles with weight.  This is my heavy year.  Last year was my slim year.  I work really hard and get in shape and eat only the right things and then just get worn out from the never ending effort it takes to keep my body in a modicum of appropriateness and I take a "break."  After, generally, a year or so break, I get so fed up with the fact that I am out of shape and gained 20 pounds, I start all over again.  I realize this is a terrible cycle.  I understand the negative health impacts this has on my long-term healthfulness.  Yet, I still have three sizes of clothes in my closet.  That rule that if you haven't worn it in a year give it away would be a terrible one for me to follow because I would constantly be buying new wardrobes (or go naked, which in a heavy year wouldn't be pretty, heck I've had triplets, there is no year in which that would be pretty).

In Tina Fey's very funny book, Bossypants, she has these two short chapters on remembrances of being very skinny and remembrances of being a little bit fat.  At the end of the very skinny chapter she says, "We should leave people alone about their weight.  Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime.  Everyone should try it once..."  And then at the end of the little bit fat chapter she says, "We should leave people alone about their weight.  Being chubby for a while (provided you don't give yourself diabetes) is a natural phase of life and nothing to be ashamed of..."

It made me laugh.  Not much of the commentary out there about weight makes me laugh.

The reality is that I am in a constant battle with my body.  Sometimes rightly so.  Regardless, my body is a gift.  I can walk.  I can see.  I can speak.  I can hear.  I can lift children.  I can drive a car.  I can kiss the man I love and feel him wrap me in a hug.  I can chase my kids down the driveway.  My body is a gift.  I should treat it better at times.  I should exercise more frequently in my "break periods."  I should eat more healthfully in my rebellious months.  But even when I am not a size 8 and things move where I wish they wouldn't (and other things don't move where I wish they would), couldn't I still love my body?  A masseuse once a year should not be the only one to be kind to my hips, my legs, my arms, my feet.  A massage shouldn't be the only retreat from the battlefield.

Ann Voskamp, my favorite author writing today, authored a post Friday that prepared my mind to receive the blessing of the massage Saturday.  And to think about my body battles.  I leave you with her words.  Entitled What Women Need to Say to Each Other, she shared these gems, among others (and I encourage you to read the entire beautiful post):

The curve of a smile is a woman’s most perfect curve 
and the only tag that matters is the one that says 
Robed in the Righteousness of Christ.  
It may not be easy to be a woman in this world. 
But it is always perfect to be a woman in His hand.

Every woman should breathe peace in her own exquisite skin.