A Working Momma's Wardrobe

I love What Not to Wear.  If they did a Houston version, and I didn't have a full time job, and I had any time or a degree in fashion, I would totally host it.  I don't think I could be harsh, but I could be helpful.  A dear friend of mine suggested for a few years that I help her shop for an updated "look."  She is beautiful so her wardrobe just needs a little refreshing to match.  We're finally beginning the effort now that she's done having kids and has moved and is ready to start fresh.  First, we're putting her current wardrobe into four categories: Goodwill donation items, Dress for Success donation items, Send to a Tailor for updating items, and Must Keep items.  Then we're going shopping.  I made a list of wardrobe must-haves for any working mom.  I mentioned it to a few of my colleagues and they said, please send that list, we need something like that. 

So I decided that today's post would be the list.  Ideally, as a wardrobe grows, it will contain multiple items in each of these categories plus "extras."  However, we're all on a budget these days, so start small.  Inventory your closet for the items you already have (that are in good condition and fit).  Then make a shopping list, and don't limit yourself by only looking at pricey stores.  Shop sales and clip coupons, shop second hand, or shop budget (say Old Navy for jeans, Marshall's for a sundress, and Target for sandals).  Note though, DO invest in some higher end items as well - you can tell when something is well made and, if it will be worn a lot, it's worth the added investment (for example, get a beautiful pair of black pants or a power suit).  Finally, this list is developed for: women working in a business casual environment who must be more formal for meetings or interviews, women who need to be modern but casual for kid activities on the weekend, and finally women who want a fabulous party or date night option. 

Leave a comment with any of your must have items I neglected.  Without further ado....

The Working Momma's Go-To Wardrobe List

1. Flat front, well-fitted, black pants (and ideally other neutrals as you go).

2. An unique blazer and a black blazer (perfect for work or the weekend over jeans).

3. A power suit.

4. A beautiful blouse - preferably one great white button down shirt as well as a pretty feminine blouse.

5. A neutral pencil skirt.

6. A fitted sleeveless dress for work and a beautiful party dress/cocktail dress for night.

7. A colorful cardigan.

8. A bold shell.

9. Classic black heels (the heel is not stiletto but is not chunky).

10. A few interesting accessories (fun necklaces, printed scarves, colorful handbags, to change the look of an outfit).

11. A modern pair of jeans in a dark rinse with a straight leg.

12. A cotton sundress.

13. An embellished tee and solid colored tee.

14. Lingerie that fits your figure now - seamless panties, a pair of Spanx, a great bra.

15. Pretty sandals.

16. A sexy silky/satin blouse (can pair with pants, skirt or jeans for a night out).

17. A pair of walking shorts (NOT capris!).

18. Fun ballet flats.

Mommy and Me

So this weekend, most of it, was a girls weekend.  Just me and the little lady while Bray took the boys for some tractor-plowing, cow-feeding, four-wheeler-riding on the farm. 

So. Much. Fun.  We had an absolute blast.  But I may be more exhausted after this weekend than a weekend when I have all three solo.  We did a ton.  You can't run non stop with three two-year-olds because it's too hard to get them in and out everywhere.  With one though, you can run a marathon.  Leap tall buildings in a single bound.  Climb Mount Everest.  (Although I ran into friends at the grocery store Saturday who have one son our kids' age and they were saying how "constrained" their activities are because they have a two year old - I guess it's all a matter of perspective!) 

Friday night we kicked things off with dinner with my mom at Memorial City and followed it with shopping and carousel riding.  Little bit had a blast and loved the two adult to one child ratio and accompanying undivided attention. 

Saturday ended up being jam packed.  We started off the morning having breakfast (and a little more shopping) with my best friend, little bit's Aunt Mary.  Did you realize you can actually engage in an adult conversation when there's only one child at the table?  Wow.  I mean it's not a prolonged conversation, but it certainly was a conversation.  How refreshing.  After our morning with Mary, we snuck in a bit of a nap at home, and then changed clothes (as a result of breakfast syrup) to go party with the Fresh Beat Band.  I'd never heard of these people, but it's some band on Nick Jr. my friend mentioned was coming in town.  I purchased some last minute tickets on Friday and the little lady went nuts over this band.  She manically danced the entire concert away.  I had a blast just watching her GET DOWN!  It cost a fortune but it was worth it:  price of two tickets to Fresh Beat Band - $ XX (refuse to publicly disclose); price of flashing light to dance with at dark concert - $10; price of a bottle of water - $5; price of parking - $7; mommy-daughter's first concert together - PRICELESS!

We followed the concert with cupcakes at Ooh Laa Laa bakery and a quick trip to the grocery store (where we encountered the aforementioned frazzled parents of one).  And then one more quick pit-stop at home before heading out for a Cinco de Mayo dinner with some of my favorite people who are neighbors of ours and have a son the same age as the kids.  The restaurant had a playground AND a bouncy house so little bit jumped for nearly two hours.  She was so pooped at the end of the day we couldn't even squeeze in a bath before she collapsed into happy dreamland in my bed. 

Sunday before the boys returned we did some errand running and low key activities but it was a fun easy day.  I adored my time with her and she with me.  Whenever something wasn't going on, she wandered around the house singing, it her lovely lilting voice, "I love you too, I love you too."  Sigh.  Tingles.  Bliss. 

I love you too baby girl.

Six Years

On May 6, 2006, Bray and I took a huge leap off a huge cliff and said, "I do."  We were in our 30s and had dated other people but, after two and a half years, decided the other one was, "The One."  I am, overused as it is, more in love with him and more sure of my decision today than I was on that Saturday morning six years ago. 

Here's my recap of each year thus far (I've written in detail about our journey to a family previously, you can see those stories on the link that says "Our Story"): 

The First Year - The year of adventure.  That first year was so much fun.  There really weren't problems, we'd worked a lot of those out before we got married, so this year was a blast.  We traveled a lot because a position I had and I still smile thinking about those months.  We managed to hit Boston, Bar Harbour (Maine), Oahu and Kauai, Baltimore and D.C., Sedona and the Grand Canyon, Miami, and Montreal.  Wow!

The Second Year - The dark year.  We were really good together but that was when we were in middle of fertility treatments in earnest.  We'd just gotten the bad test results and had gone through three IUIs and one IVF with no success.  I'd gained weight and became pretty strung out from the drugs.  The one constant and reassurance in my life was loving Bray. 

The Third Year - The surprise year.  What a nutty year this was.  Bray and I were really doing well  in our marriage, and we'd realized even more how strong our love was when the doctor found and surgically removed a tumor in my uterus.  An IVF before that surgery, then an IVF after that surgery, and finally an ultrasound on March 31st before our May 6th anniversary that revealed we'd be adding three people to our family in the fall. 

The Fourth Year - The year of I don't know, it's a blur.  Pregnant, huge, bed rest, hospital, three babies, joy, worry, NICU, home eventually on monitors, sleeplessness, bottles, diapers, joy, worry, laundry, home A LOT, off monitors, doctors, healthy, sleeplessness, fuzzy. 

The Fifth Year - The year of growing pains.  This might have been our hardest year of marriage.  We'd been blissfully in love before babies, and then blissfully thrilled to expand our family during the pregnancy, and then blissfully in love with the new babies but completely sleep deprived and everything else deprived.  I think the chaos and change set in this year.  We did a lot of work on us, after we didn't do a lot of work, and I remember celebrating our 5th anniversary in New Orleans feeling like we were back to "us" and still very much in love. 

The Sixth Year - The year of learning.  We can really finally get out and "do" again now that the triplets are two.  Just this weekend Bray was able to take the boys to the farm single handed & I could gallivant all over town with just the little lady.  Having added back in some freedom has resusciated "us" a little too.  I think when you as an individual starting losing yourself, you don't have anything to give to your partner.  Bray can go hunting now and I can go on a girl's trip, and then we're together as a family and stronger as a unit because we're stronger as individuals.  I'm looking forward to this next year and the ones that follow it. 

Just Gindi

I'm participating in a little "getting to know you" exercise hosted by my sweet college sorority sister over at Kelly's Korner, so here goes:

History: My name Gindi came from the mudflap of an 18-wheeler. I was born in Texas but moved when I was 3 weeks old. In addition to living in Texas (I am now a Houstonian), I've lived in California, Arkansas, Kansas, and Tennessee and did study abroad stints in England and Russia. My parents divorced when I was 12 - my dad was a pastor and my mom is a special-ed teacher. I have the cutest baby brother in the world, he's four years younger which makes him 34 but he's still the baby, and he moved to Oklahoma last year to work near my dad. I got a BA in Political Science & History from Ouachita Baptist University and a JD from Vanderbilt. I've loved two boys and one man (the latter I got lucky enough to marry) and have had the best girlfriends anyone could ask for over the course of my life, but sadly I only get to live in the same city as a few.

Current: I've been married to the love of my life for six years (this weekend!) and together for eight and a half. We've got the most brilliant, beautiful, funny, nutty two year old triplets you can imagine - two boys and a girl. It took us a long time to have a family, so we're unspeakably grateful for this gift of three. I'm a lawyer and have been for 14 years, an environmental attorney for 12 of those. I live in West Houston in a nice house that currently looks like a tornado hit it. In addition to my mom and dad and brother, my husband's family is now my own. He's got two sisters and a brother and between the lot of them there are 11 Vincent grand kids which my mother- and father-in-law love. The MIL/FIL live on a farm in Louisiana and, despite me being a total city girl, my kids adore tractors and horses and cows and hay. Go figure!

What Makes Me Tick: I believe in Jesus and love Him every single day even when I don't act like it. I believe everything I have is a generous gift from my Heavenly Father, and I'm so grateful that He forgives me when I mess up. I love to write and speak. I get to do it sometimes for my job and sometimes on the side for faith-based groups. I hate to work out but I do it, early in the morning, so that I can keep up with my three kids who I'm head over heels for - even though they are two and tough as nails right now. I also get to kiss good morning and kiss good night (and any other time I can dream up in between) the handsomest husband in the world.

My Interests: I love the arts. I try to get Symphony season tickets or catch a play or musical if the budget allows. Plus I'll listen to just about any kind of music out there (almost), but I could listen to jazz around the clock. My favorite movie as a kid was Grease and as an adult is The Royal Tenebaums, but keep in mind I almost never get to see movies anymore (despite adoring them). I think the last movie we saw was J. Edgar. I do DVR a handful of shows, some more embarrassing than others. The current roster is Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Castle, The Bachelor/ette, Revenge, and Chopped, but the best show of all time was Friends. I love to cook and travel but don't get to do either right now. I fell in love with Venice and St. Petersburg abroad and Cape Cod, Kenai Fjords, Sonoma and the Grand Canyon in the U.S.

My Friends: I have the coolest friends in the world, and they're all totally different which makes my life interesting and fun. I couldn't possibly list them all, but here's the basic camps:
Mary - she stands alone because she's my best friend and we've been through a ton together and there's nothing I couldn't count on her for (or she me) or tell her, she's my touchstone;
Amy - she's my Christian/accountability/prayer/writing heart friend - when I have a need, she's the first one I call for prayer (and she me) and hopefully in 10 years we'll both be writing forwards to each other's third book;
Natalie - she's my precious mom friend, a working mom who lives in my neighborhood with a son the same age as the kids and she just GETS everything;
Kellie/Alice - they're, along with others, my sweet supportive Fort Worth friends. I had the most amazing deep network of friends the four and a half years I practiced in Fort Worth, dozens of go-to girls, and these fabulous women topped the list. Even after all this time away, they are still as close to my heart as they always were.

I blog about my funny kids and faith-based issues along with whatever random stuff hits me too. My (brand new) Twitter handle is JustGindi (hence the title), but I'm not using it much yet. I'm looking forward to learning about you too!

Failing

I was pretty frustrated Tuesday night.  The kids were sick and I'd had about 4 nights with maybe four hours of sleep each night (I'm a girl who needs her sleep).  I was getting sick to boot.  I'd had an emergency project at work come up on top of my busy work schedule this week.  I had an annual report I had to completely have drafted by today for a Foundation that I chair because no one else "got" my vision for how I wanted to revamp the report.  Plus I realized all the notarized applications, with doctors signed statements, were due this week in order for the trio to be admitted to their school program in the fall (and the school wants ALL of the pages  filled out in original regardless of the fact that the information is duplicate). 

I was really overwhelmed.  My boot camp had started back up for May on Monday-Wednesday-Fridays, and I'd missed Monday because I couldn't leave at 4:45 am when I was tending to the eldest's coughing.  I sent a late night text to my boot camp buddy finally caving.  This is what it said: "sherry - i'm going to take may off from boot camp and just join the gym.  the kids are so sick, i have to write a book, host a 20th anniversary gala, and cover depos.  i feel like crap and need some flexibility.  pls let shelton know i'm in for june." 

The next morning, I felt like a failure.  I still need to lose the 20 pounds that I lazily let creep on this past year.  Even though I've been back at boot camp since January, I've not seen the results I did the year before because I've not been rigorous about my diet.  And here I am bailing on the one thing that's keeping me from another 20 pounds.  I looked at my husband in complete and utter failure and desperation the next morning and said, I don't know what else to do.  He looked back at me with one look that seemed to say, uh yeah, what do you think I'm doing, I'm underwater here too! 

I felt guilty all day.  It was a lovely cocktail.  Exhausted, swamped, frazzled, guilted, and failed. 

Today I came to the, possibly entirely self-preservational, conclusion that it's okay.  Not okay to walk around feeling guilty (there's a whole other post on true guilt versus false guilt that I was reminded of in a recent bible study).  Okay to fail.  And let's not sugar coat it - it is failing.  The goal was work out at least three times a week and lose some weight in order to stay healthy and I just didn't hit the goal this week - and probably won't hit it this month. 

However, when you live in the real world with real world messes, sometimes there is really only one thing that can give.  When that happens, and hopefully it's rarely, that thing just has to give.  Whether you want it to or not.  That one small failure may be the difference between a bunch of bigger failures down the line.  When you or I get determined not to let one thing fall apart, everything eventually falls apart. 

God understands that we sometimes fail.  He encourages us and reminds us that if we trust in Him we'll get back up.  Maybe the reason I failed is because I didn't prioritize in the beginning, and I took on more than I could handle.  I forgot to listen to that still small voice directing my feet which path to take.  My eyes were bigger than my stomach as my momma would say.  But this is the situation today and I have to do the best I can with the time that I have.  Reorder things until I can get back on track.  In the midst of it, I can be encouraged that I may stumble along the way, but because I have a good and faithful Saviour, I will be upheld by His strong hand.  If you find yourself having to grapple with failure today (big or small), then let His strong hands pick you up and tide you over until the deluge passes. 

Psalm 37:24 - If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. 
Proverbs 27:27 - If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it;  
Psalm 145:19 - The Lord upholds all those who fall... 
Romans 3: 23 - for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God... 
Proverbs 24:16 - for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again.... 
Jeremiah 8:4 - When men fall down, do they not get up? When a man turns away, does he not return? 
Psalm 43 - God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.

(Isn't it so cool that this verse says "her!")

Wordless Wednesday

He Looks Like An Angel, But.....

I remember when my darling life-saving night nanny, Jenny, used to recap the night for me the following morning during our hand off.  One thing I still remember her saying was that she would stare down at the baby (that being the youngest, obviously they were ALL babies at the time) and think how angelic he looked.  How his white blonde hair gave off a glow as if he was wearing a halo.  And then she said, "he's going to be the one to give you trouble.  And he's going to get away with it."

More prophetic words were never spoken.  To be sure, the "trouble," is harmless.  But it is all Bray and I can do to keep a straight face when this child disobeys because he does it with such a mischievous smile that it's darn near adorable and hysterical all at once. 

Exhibit A, last night, now that he can leap out of his crib in a single bound (yes, we reverted back to caging them after weeks of mayhem in big kid beds), he has also gained the skill to leap over baby gates in a single bound.  So approximately 30 seconds after we leave the room he is in the hallway heading for the den and some television watching.  He says, "I'm sick.  Watch t.v."   As if somehow I'm going to BUY that watching t.v. is going to make him feel better.  This is from a kid that watches t.v. maybe three times a week for less than a half hour in the morning if I'm trying to get ready - but he's an addict.  So we promptly put him back in bed and tell him to stay.  Well we'd just gone through this cycle and I was hard at work on the computer trying to get a project to partner in L.A.  I heard the little lady in the next room saying the baby's name over and over.  I walk into the den and tell Bray that the baby is loose and we probably should go look for him.  Just as he was saying we had nothing to worry about, I look up and the baby is staring back at us, smiling, eyes twinkling, blanket in hand, ready to catch a little WWII action on the military channel with daddy.  He was obviously being determinedly disobedient.  But that twinkle and nonchalance made Bray nearly bite a hole through his lip to keep from falling out of his chair with laughter. 

This is not an isolated incident.  This weekend we were at Lake Conroe for a TYLA Board meeting (they invite former Presidents and Chairs back years later to judge awards) and Friday night the kids were having a blast.  They were up past their bedtime at a crawfish boil at the resort and a d.j. was playing good tunes.  The eldest and little lady were DANCING.  The eldest, and I have to digress because this story is priceless, was quite smitten by: (a) hats, and (b) crawfish.  The d.j. had set up a photo booth with props and my adorable eldest had found himself a red felt fedora.  This is a child, I may have mentioned, that loves himself some accessories.  He was walking around the party like he owned the joint (and he's not always our most social one).  Shortly after finding the hat, he also developed a fondness for one of Bray's crawfish.  Carried that thing everywhere.  And if he had to crawl over steps or a gate, he took his hat off, placed the crawfish in the hat, climbed over the obstacle, took the crawfish back out, and summarily put the fedora back at a jaunty tilt atop his head.  I, sadly, did not have a camera so you have to trust me on the darling-ness of this whole business, but I'm hoping that someone at the meeting at least captured my man in his fedora. 

Back to the baby though, the d.j. played a song where the chorus said, "cold beer on a Friday night."  Well, he started saying, "cold beer!"  If you've forgotten, he's two.  Because we, stupidly, laughed the first time, he kept saying it and added, "I wanna cold beer."  (I'm sorry momma, I know she's dying right now.)  So Monday morning we are getting ready for school and he starts saying, "I wanna cold beer."  I'm pretty sure CPS takes your kids away if they go to Mother's Day Out at a Methodist Church asking for booze.  My wonderful nanny is trying to help me, and she's saying, "no you mean cold milk."  To which he emphatically replies, "No cold milk Marie, cold BEER."  Good night nurse. 

But he said it with a smile and a twinkle.  It makes it incredibly hard to discipline.   Sweet Jenny, I'm afraid you're right.  Houston, we have a problem.