One Doorknob

I've been spinning a bit this week.  I've got a lot of writing to do in a very little amount of time.  If it all turns out, then the opportunities are amazing.  If it doesn't, well, I don't even want to think about it. 

I love to write.  I've written since I can remember.  But the diversity of things I'm writing on right now has me muddled and not feeling on top of my game (women in leadership, marriage, parenting, and self-worth - ack!).  My mom came over today while the kids were napping and shared a passage she read and thought of me.  It is from David Jeremiah's book entitled Signs of Life that ironically I gave her as a present years ago.  His words stopped me cold:

Friend, you don't have to worry about how or when or where the next door in your life will open.  The doors God opens for you only have doorknobs on one side...His!  So you can be sure that the true, holy, and powerful One will open for you the right door at the right time.  Th knob is in His hands.  The door may involve your job, where you live, your education, a partner in marriage, or an opportunity for ministry.  Don't limit God!

I found, in those words, my drive again.  My forward motion.  The reason I'm doing all this.  I'm being called to something.  It may be very small on an Earthly scale.  It may be very grand on an Earthly scale.  It may take some completely unexpected form.  But whatever the calling turns out to be, it's going to be magnificent on a Heavenly scale if I will just follow Him where He leads.  He will open the right doors at the right time.  So back to work. 

Flashback Fridays

Well, it's Friday which means Flashback Fridays - at least for the summer as I work to pound out these books.  Today's installment was written on November 2, 2010, and was one of my marriage posts entitled, Boot Camp - On the Track and at Home.  I hope it resonates with you today.  Have a great weekend.

So this week I began my SECOND month of boot camp.  Let me start with two important facts.  I hate mornings.  I hate exercise.  This is terrible I realize but it is reality.  However, for some bizarre reason, last month I committed to a boot camp near my house that begins at 5 am.  I've lost nine pounds.  AND........I actually ran the 3 reps of 400 meters w/sit ups and wall balls for our Monday work out that we benchmark against at the end of the month.  That is huge.  At the beginning of October I could only do the 200 meter reps.  But one of the trainers said something that stuck, and really pushed me to this new threshold - pain is temporary, quitting is forever.  

So I've decided to apply that slogan to the boot camp at home too.  And in fact, any woman of faith could apply that to her marriage when the going gets tough.  I have been madly in love with my husband for almost seven years and married nearly five.  But if a year of triplets doesn't provide stressors on a marriage, I don't know what would.  And while this has been an amazing year filled with daily delight at seeing the new things unfolding before our children's eyes as they learn and develop, it has also been a hard one as our marriage has to mature to a new level.  And during the fights, and the fall out, I think it's important to remember that pain is temporary, quitting is forever.  

God is a big fan of marriage (healthy marriages - none of this applies if you are being abused).  And He's a big fan of them surviving.  AND THRIVING.  These marriages He designs for us are not marriages on life support.  Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding - He wanted to be part of this precious celebration!  (John 2)  God tells us in Genesis "it is not good for man to be alone," and in I Corinthians that, "For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God."   Plus He repeatedly uses marriage as a metaphor for His relationship with us.  (Isaiah, Hosea, and more...) He wouldn't draw that picture for us if He hadn't designed marriage as a perfect union.  Lucky for me.  

Mark 10: 6-9: Jesus says “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever.

I Want To Be Nice

Last night, the little lady was not in a good mood.  I got home in time for their first swimming lessons, and while she's normally the fish in the family, it was the eldest that was a superstar while she whined and disobeyed.  After swimming, she continued to cry.  Maybe she still feels crummy, but in our house that doesn't give you permission to disobey.  During dinner she put her feet on the table which necessitated her removal.  She threw a fit.  I had told the kids during swimming lessons that if they were good I'd give them a lollipop (I know, bribery is bad, but I have three two year olds so cut me some slack).  So after dinner, the boys got a lollipop and the little lady did not.

Oh.  My.  Heavens.  You would think she was subjected to Chinese water torture.  She begged for the rest of the night for a lollipop.  I told her, at one point, if you are kind and if you are nice while we play outside with the boys then you may have a lollipop.  She replied, repeatedly, while crying, "I want to be nice.  I want to be kind."  I said, "I know you do, but you have to show me that you are kind and nice and not just tell me."  A big concept for a two year old.

Turns out, it's a pretty big concept for a mommy too.  I looked at her tear-stained face and pleading eyes and really wanted to give her a lollipop.  But she had done absolutely nothing good and I couldn't reward bad behavior.  I actually believed her.  She probably DID want to be nice and kind.  She just wasn't being nice and kind.  I thought, wow, I must put God in this position a lot.

God I really want this thing.  I really want this change.  I really want this answer.  Would you please please please give it to me?  I know I'm running around disobeying the commands you have for those who believe and follow after you, and I am not reflecting your love and grace to a dark and suffering world, but I do want to be nice.  I want to be kind.  It's pretty hard though.  I'm attached to my pride and I don't want to look weak.  I would like to be one of the cool kids even if that means I'm not open and warm to everyone that crosses my path.  I'm craving pretty new things for me and my family even if that means that I can't be generous to my church or those in need.  I have to be right even if that means failing to admit I'm wrong or to follow my husband's leadership or to listen to Godly counsel.  I would like to only speak good and affirming words but criticism or gossip just sneaks out of my mouth when I'm not paying attention.

Ugh.  Don't you hate it when your parenting convicts you?  I think God believes that I want to be kind and nice just like I believed my sweet girl.  Because the truth is, I do.  That is my goal.  I want to not only be nice and kind but to live a life that reflects the grace and mercy and miraculous power and wonder of my Saviour.  Unfortunately, more often than not, my actions don't follow my intent.

Why?  Was I just sleepy or sick like my little one?  No.  I was lazy.  I didn't read God's word that morning to seek his guidance in my life and activities for the day.  I didn't get on my knees first thing that morning and ask that He direct my path and lasso my tongue and censor or restrain my less Christ-like urges and actions.  I didn't sit in the quiet and listen for what God would have me receive for the day.  Instead I rushed around, threw up a prayer in the chaos, and thanked Him for His faithfulness despite me during the day.  If I can give everyone from the cable guy to a client an appointment on my calendar, how is it that God keeps falling off of it?

Thanks sweet daughter for the reminder that I'm not acting much better than a two year old.  And I know better.  Plus, I want so much more than a lollipop.  I want to leave a legacy here on Earth as a shining tribute to my Heavenly Father.  I want to set an example for my children of who Christ is.  I want to follow in the footsteps of my Lord and live an abundant life that reflects His glory.

I Peter 3 - Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. For:
“He who would love life and see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.  Let him turn away from evil and do good;  Let him seek peace and pursue it.  For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers...
Luke 21  - Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.  But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly. For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man. 
John 10 - I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved...I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.  
I Timothy 6 - Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy. Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 
II Peter 1 - To those who have obtained like precious faith with us by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ:  Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature...But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,  to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love....Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
 

Wordless Wednesdays (from vaca)

Vacation, Day 4, On the Road Again

Maybe it's because I was born in the 70s, but I always have Willie Nelson singing On the Road Again in a loop in my head whenever we head home from a road trip.

The kids are troopers.  Yesterday was a long day.  We had a fun leisurely morning at my dad's house but left around noon.  As a result of bathroom breaks and a sit down dinner on the road, we didn't get home until shortly before 9 p.m.  Long. Day.  Despite being trapped in car seats for most of the day, they only had one melt down just before dinner.  I can't say I blame them.  It was the witching hour anyway, they were hungry, little bit was still running a fever, and they'd been in the car for about six hours by that point.  We stopped at a Chili's in Huntsville and can I tell you that I was floored by their kids menu.  Maybe it's because we never eat at chain restaurants, so we had no idea this was available, but these folks have the kid thing down.  Every kind of cool kid food from chicken to cheese quesadillas with the most fabulous sides - fresh veggies and fruit of all kinds.  The kids loved it.  Plus dinner for five only cost us $40.  We may have to be a little more open minded about chain restaurants now!

All in all, the road trip was good.  I miss my brother and it was really cool to reintroduce the kids to Uncle Caleb at an age they'll remember.  Plus we only get to see my dad a few times a year and they think he's super funny, and it is crazy easy to stay there because my stepmom moves heaven and earth to think of everything the kids might want.  Way easier than a road trip to a hotel.  Here are some of my favorite lines from the rest of the trip: 

Little lady was chasing some birds in dad's front yard with my brother and she said in her little voice, "I likide birds." My brother replied, "You lika de birds. What are you? Italian?" I laughed for five minutes.

As we were heading out of Chili's last night, the baby said, "I had a fun day, got to go to new places."  How cool is that? 

My brother was feeding the kids grapes at lunchtime and he was trying to give them the best ones.  He remarked, "Oh, let's not get that one, it's old."  The baby retorted, "I like the old ones."

Bray was swimming with the eldest and they had water guns.  He was, terribly, teaching him to shoot mommy with the water guns.  After soaking me, Bray gave this hysterical evil laugh, "Ha, ha, ha, ha." (Imagine a staccato, maniacal, head-throwing, villain-esque laugh.)  He told the eldest to give the laugh too.  And boy did he.  Spot on imitation.  Freakin' hysterical to see that laugh come out of a two year old.  When we got home last night, Bray asked him to give that laugh again and he did.  Then he said, "give me your funny laugh."  The little man gave the exact laugh he has when we tell a joke or tickle him.  The other two did the same thing.  We were in stitches. 

As great as the trip was, I am so happy to be home.  Home has a whole new meaning now that we have kids, and I get complete satisfaction when we're all back there together.  As the little lady says with a smile, "Whole Family!" 

Vacation - Third Day Triumph and Trauma

It was nice to wake up this morning and not have to be anywhere.  The last two mornings were such a whirlwind that this morning was a gift.  Plus, OKC has experienced some cool mornings which meant several cups of coffee on the front porch rockers while the kids played in the front yard all morning.  Deep sigh. 

To cap it off, no one had fevers this morning.  Woohoo.  Home free (nearly).  After a long morning of neighbors visiting dad's house and the kids riding up and down the street on the John Deere mower, we had a quiet lunch and a long nap.  Did you catch that?  Another day of naps.  I actually am napping-impaired.  For some reason I can not sleep during daylight hours.  Or in public.  Which includes planes, trains, and automobiles.  But today I slept.  And I can feel the difference tonight. 

Lest the entire day be uneventful, that pretty much never happens in my life right now, we trotted off for the big Eckel family photo shoot at 5 pm at the lovely Will Rogers Park.  The boys were not interested in posing.  Then little bit was in tears nearly the entire time.  At first I thought it was her pull up (she kept complaining that her pants hurt).  I quickly uncovered that SHE had come down with this mysterious fever.  Again accompanied with not a single symptom except mid-grave fever, clinginess, and crying.  Since we were going to have dinner with my cousin and his family and my aunt and uncle right after the photo shoot I figured we could just push through it.  Not only did little bit not eat, and glom on to me for the entire meal, but the baby had one massive blow out.  I had not packed appropriately and everything I really needed was back at my dad's house.  So all the kids have their shoes off, little bit is crying and running a fever, and I spend 10 min in the bathroom with the baby trying to clean him off.  Since the shoes and shorts were not salvageable (I wasn't kidding when I said blow out), out he came in a new pull up, a modicum of cleanliness and a shirt.  I felt like the hillbillies had come to town.  If you recall from yesterday, the eldest was pantless at our Friday lunch establishment because his shorts were soaked from the long trip. 

That's right.  In a matter of 48 hours, a girl who owns the largest Emily Post book known to man, has personalized kids stationary, dies of embarrassment for inappropriate behaviour, had repeated bottomless and shoeless kids.  It's not like this is my first rodeo.  The kids are two and a half.  Where the heck was my emergency bag?  I had no meds, no wipes, no back up clothes.  What am I, a first time babysitter?  Ugh.  My uncle says I'll look back on this and laugh.  I'm suspect. 

I will tell you, each day I see that big Eckel family photo, in whatever state it turns out, I will vividly remember the day it was taken.  And despite the triumph and traumas of the day, I wouldn't trade them for the world.  (I might trade them for an hour for a massage, but that's neither here nor there.)  Tomorrow is our final day in the Sooner Sun, and then we hit the road at lunch.  Here's praying that everyone is well and cooperative (I can hear you laughing........).

Vacation - Day 1 and 1/2

So this is the test drive for the real vaca post that will come in September for our week long outing to Disneyworld.  (Yes, more on that later.)  But this is our annual long weekend pilgrimage to Oklahoma City to see my dad, step mom and brother.  Sometimes we stop off in Fort Worth to see my old friends (I used to live there) and sometimes we barrel through.  This was a stop off year. 

So far, it's only been a little rocky.  Primarily because, as I've written on many occasions, my kids smell events and plans and are allergic to them.  Therefore, one or more become ill.  The baby jump started this weekend.  I got home late Thursday night from my sweet friend Stella's going away party (why my dear friend is leaving me for her darling husband to move to Australia I'll never know....), to a fevered baby.  It wasn't scary high and he had no other symptoms so we marched on with our plans.  The fever had returned that morning, but again, no symptoms and not scarily high so off we went.  We managed an 8:30 am departure, not far off the 8 am intended goal, and the kids are major troopers when it comes to road trips.  They've been going to the farm for years but 2 1/2 hours is a lot different that 4, 5 or 8 hours.  Still, with me sitting in the back entertaining them with my bag of tricks (books, coloring, new stickers, etc.), all went well.  The little man's fever went up and down, as did the bottle of ibuprofen, but spirits stayed solid.  Lunch with an old friend even went without major incident thanks to a large patio area and the proprietor's not caring too much that the eldest had to go with out shorts because he'd soaked through the handy pair we had on the long trip (we only stopped once on the way to Fort Worth - note to self, must stop more with two year olds). 

But last night was a little rockier.  Bray and I weren't our normal perky selves because we've been a bit at odds and we were both sleep deprived from late nights and early mornings and the baby was incredibly grumpy and clingy.  I called the doctor last night hoping they could call something in, but truth be told, we didn't know if it was 2 year molars, swimmers ear, or a bug of some sort.  Another late night and early morning had us pretty fried for the remaining leg of the trip to Oklahoma City this morning.  Yet another tremendous effort though by the kiddos.  Some car dancing, yummy snacks, a decent walk around break, and lollipops made the trip whiz by. 

Today has been so great post arrival.  There's something about being at family's, isn't there?  You can be sloppy or temperamental or frazzled and it's okay.  You don't have to put on airs.  You can just be that.  We got in and everyone got to just be.  We didn't have to rush off to an appointment or have lunch out or dress up.  Everyone ran around outside and took NAPS and splashed in the water and caught up with my far away family.  The only down side is that the eldest now also has a fever, higher than the baby's.  Still no symptoms, but surely it's something contagious because they couldn't possibly both be teething simultaneously.

Coming here is the equivalent off staying at a fancy hotel - my dad and step mom MOVE OUT of their room and have closet space for us and fresh flowers by the bed and a huge air mattress for the kids.  I literally do nothing but bring clothes.  There's enough food to feed an army and there's no rush.  It's the only time I'm not rushing.  And we're here through Monday.  With no rushing.  I think all my rushing and deadlines and plans drive my husband up the wall so this weekend will be the next best thing to the farm for him. 

These are my favorite lines so far:  we stayed with friends that have a daughter also named Lily so my little bit kept saying, "there's LOTS of lillies!"; my dad has multiple mirrors in the bathroom so when Sam stood up to wash his hands he said, "there's TWO Sams!"; my dad had bought a pool for their backyard (yes, they always go overboard, pun intended) and when he took the boys out to see it, Will never even noticed it because he ran straight to the John Deere riding lawnmower and said, "GREEN TRACTOR!" and hopped on and stayed on (can you tell where his heart is?).  Tomorrow is a low key morning and a late afternoon photo shoot - the first professional photo shoot with my dad since the divorce in the mid-80s.  An early Father's Day present.  And my very cool cousin's wife is shooting us - the icing on top.  It's gonna be a good day.  (But say a little prayer the boys are better - can't take another fevered day.....)