Fishin' Forty Linkup/Flashback Friday

I will definitely post about Disneyworld madness tomorrow but today I am doing my DELAYED Flashback Friday as a part of my friend Kelly's link up on adult birthday parties.  I loved this post.  It was called Surprise and it was posted last July after the hugely successful surprise 40th birthday party I planned for Bray.  If you missed it, here it is: 

So finally, after six months of planning, I can write about it - Saturday night, I (along with many others) pulled off what I didn't believe was possible in a day and age of e-mails/texts/cell phones - a SURPRISE birthday party. And not just any surprise party, but my husband's big blow out 40th Surprise Birthday Party! And if you doubt whether or not it was actually a surprise, you should have heard what came out of his mouth as we pulled up to our dear friend's house and there were over 50 people in the street to welcome him with a big "surprise!" I can assure you, my husband who does not like surprises or being the center of attention was not initially all that happily surprised. But I think about 10 minutes into it, when he saw his favorite friends and all of his family, he started warming to the idea. He didn't have to stand in a circle while people roasted him or open presents in front of a crowd, he just got to spent the evening hanging out with some of his favorite people.

So now, I'm recuperating. Anyone who knows me knows I love to throw a good party. But never have I been more motivated to throw a perfect party than now, for my husband, who I adore, and who I have never had the chance to throw a party for before! I started planning at the beginning of the year. Secured my location and then began to research themes and invitations. Found this adorable place in Wisconsin to do a fishing themed surprise 40th invite which my mother and I then took up a notch with fishing lures & burlap.

They went out eight weeks in advance so those out-of-towners could plan to come in (which they did - thank you very much)! Then began the on-line ordering process for all the customized items which arrived in a trickle at my office from April to June - banners, cocktail napkins, party favors, etc. Oh how I wish I could do this for a living. There actually is a ton of fishing themed stuff out there and we were able to get everything from from water bottle labels (which we painstakingly applied to dozens and dozens of water bottles), to napkins with fishing boats/poles, to our custom cupcake picks!   We had a Mexican buffet catered and for dessert we served a variety of cupcake flavors, including his favorite (carrot cake!).  The cherry on top was the This is Your Life scrapbook for which 19 people contributed stories and pictures. I became so emotional reading all these wonderful memories of Bray and watching him as he grew. I spent hours at night at Walgreen's scanning old photos in when he was out of town and my mom stayed with the sleeping munchkins.  The first part of the book was the stories, each typed in a different font and formated with pictures of the author with Bray, and the second part of the album was all the photos from every single phase of his life.   

All of it culminated on July 23rd, 4 days before his birthday, when we went to our friends for a "fish fry" at HIS suggestion! Low and behold, the gang was all there. I am completely exhausted but never have I taken on a more worthy endeavor for a more worthy person. It was such a gift to see him register how much everyone loves him and how thrilled we all were to be able to be a part of his life. As a part of this week's blogging, I'll post my story entry for the scrapbook, and maybe even the kids, but the rest of the entries are for him to enjoy and appreciate alone (and one day for our kids to sit and read and see how loved their daddy is).

Wordless Wednesdays

39 Things: The Finale

So I am writing the finale of the 39 Things Challenge.  This is the end of the third week.  Week One was far and away the most successful and provided the most euphoric feelings.  Week Two created this sense of dissatisfaction about what I have been storing up in my life.  Week Three concluded in complete disbelief over how skewed my perspective had become. 

First up, the final report.  Yes, I did clear out more than 39 things this week.  My focus again was on drawers and shelves, with an emphasis on the kids bathroom and the kitchen.  Some give-aways, some trash, but once more we have more clear space.  I am DETERMINED not to fill it up.  On money, it was easy because this was a short week.  I only had Thursday through Monday since we are now in Florida.  I spent $6 on a lunch snack Thursday while running around town, just over $2 at Starbucks on Friday, and then I indulged in a breakfast out over the weekend while I had a sitter which totaled almost $11 - therefore I was most comfortably under the $21 for the week during this period than any other. 

But since this is the wrap up, I want to focus on how this has become so much more than how many things I gave away and how much money I was able to save.  This is more about WHY do I have so many things, worthless items, to give away to begin with.  This is more about HOW on Earth did my weekly budget grow to such excess. 

What are we doing?  As I spend today in the belly of the material beast, Disneyworld, I wrap up this challenge with a completely different perspective on where I am and what I am doing. When my two year olds are sitting in bed piling empty shoe boxes around them only to tell me they are ordering things, something has gone wrong. It's a funny story, but it is a sad story.

And those boxes folks, they ARE empty. They do not add one iota of value to our lives. Certainly we need clothes and food and a roof over our head, but the other stuff!?!?

Also, a specific word for us Christians, those of us who believe that Jesus Christ really should be running the show even if we do not always act like we believe it.  And this is a sermon more to myself than to anyone else reading.  REALLY what are we doing?  If our value and our worth and our provision truly comes from Christ, why on Earth are we piling up all this other stuff? I can understand how those with no faith might need to fill an emptiness or longing with material possessions in order to feel worthy or valuable or accepted. But I have no excuse. No. Excuse.

What are we doing?

I come away from this "challenge" personally challenged.  Life. Must. Change.  Value must be real not purchased.  Worth must be deeply rooted in my Creator and Redeemer not platinum status on a credit card.  Provision must be the Bread of Life not a five star restaurant. 

The line from the first day of the challenge rings truer to me today: We must teach our children today what to treasure tomorrow.

Philippians 3 - But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.

I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him,

not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  I want to know Christ... Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Flashback Fridays

Well, technically this is my last Flashback Fridays since they were an institution of the summer, but because I will be in Disneyworld next Friday, I will likely have one more for you.  I went way back for this one.  It's short and was written in the first month or so of me writing.  This was originally written on December 16, 2010, and entitled Mustard Seeds.  My writing will be a little light next week since I'll be partying with my kiddos in Florida, but I will be back in full force with you after my birthday.  Happy Labor Day!

A very dear friend of mine is going through a very dark storm right now. Her sweet precious 4 year old has a very aggressive cancer. Despite all my weeks in the hospital with our babies, this is a new kind of trauma that I can't imagine. It is prolonged. It wreaks havoc even outside of the chemo treatments. And it wears you down to a state where you are scared to ask for miracles for fear that God might disappoint you - and then what? What would happen to all those years of faith if He didn't intervene like you asked?

I understand your faith being tested. I have been intimately acquainted with your hopes being dashed and dark news greeting you like a hail storm.  And while I have no words of wisdom for those going through a cancer storm with a child, I do know that the Lord understands that we are human (God made us after all) and does not expect us to blithely dance through trauma unaffected and sunnily optimistic. Our faith may feel small, but He tells us that small faith can do big things!  My mom gave me a mustard seed encased in a glass bead dangling from a gold chain which I wore through much of my childhood. It was supposed to be an ever present reminder that even though sometimes our faith feels SO small to us, God can use our small faith to do big things.  The God who multiplied 5 loaves and 2 fish, the God who raised Lazarus from the dead, the God who walked on water and calmed the storms WANTS to do big things.  He is a moving mountains kind of a God.  And when that mountain stands between you and survival, it is so hard to believe it will move and it is so scary to ask. But it CAN move.  So open your palm, imagine that teeny tiny mustard seed, and believe in a God of miracles.

Matthew 17: "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

*Note from 2012: my darling friend's daughter is in full remission.  I know this isn't the answer for everyone with this struggle, but praise gracious God that it was His answer for her. 

39 Things: Week Two Update

I heard a man on the NPR recently say, "If it's not essential, useful or beautiful, what good is keeping it?" 

How many items in my house meet that standard?  More fail that criteria than meet it. 

I have completed Week 2 of the 39 Things Challenge.  Week 1, as I reported, was not only invigorating but successful.  I far surpassed the requirement to give 39 things away during the week, eliminating yet another car full, and I satisfied my $3 a day budget. 

Week 2 was harder.  I lost some of my steam in the clearing out process.  I did tackle the long overdue sideboard and as you can see I went from four overflowing drawers down to just one normally full one. 

Numerous drawers are more organized and leaner. 

However, since that yields itself to more trash than giving to Goodwill (which still counts as long as I trash 39 things, which I again surpassed), it felt less effective.  However, I did collect one more full box of items for Goodwill, numbering at least 39, and eliminated over two trash bags full of "junk."

Frustratingly, I busted my $3 a day budget.  Because I busted it last Friday, it set me off for the whole week (the challenge budget begins after each Wednesday).  I set aside $22 for a girls lunch during Houston's Restaurant week which had long been calendared.  I recognized going in that was my budget for the entire week, and I planned to spend nothing else, but I didn't count on the restaurant charging for valet parking.  It was SIX dollars.  So I went over my budget by $7 for the week.  I spent nothing else on me or the kids all week, but the budget was still blown.

One valuable thing came out of that experience.  I noticed that the valet cost $6.  Before my strict budget, I probably would not have batted an eye.  Now, I nearly broke down in tears at the valet stand.  There is such an increased awareness about what I am spending money on that did not exist before. 

The same awareness invaded my acquisitions process.  I had some Zulily packages arrive during the challenge which were purchased pre-challenge.  I was affirmatively mad at them.  I angrily chastised myself for having spent the money on things the children did not need.  And now I had to find a spot for them in hard-fought and increasingly clean spaces!  Previously, I would have been overjoyed at the arrival of more "stuff." 

There's a song by The White Stripes called "Little Room."  It is, appropriately, only 50 seconds long.  White sings about working on "something good" in his little room, only to have that something good require him to move into a bigger room, and there he is lost and has to consider downsizing to re-center.

I think that is where I am.  I came from a little room.  Seriously little room.  I worked and worked and achieved "success" and had to move to this BIG room.  But you know, it is not all good in this big room.  And despite its size, it has become crowded.  The stuff filling the big room is not essential, useful, or beautiful.  I am craving the little room.  And I am on my way. 

Wordless Wednesdays

Nothing to Say

What do you write on a Tuesday, when by discipline you have to write on Tuesdays, and you have nothing to say?  I have some things to say mind you.  I have a post festering on Elohim.  A great post festering on Justice versus Grace.  I have a post on addiction that still feels too raw.  I am just not in a place spiritually to polish them off and publish them for the world to see (or friends and family as the case may sometimes be). 

So I go back to music.  It's no secret that music is what stirs my soul.  Rings up emotion in my soul when all is emotionless. 

I love Christian music, but I also have a lot of favorite artists from every spectrum of music.  I love, adore, think he is the total mack-daddy of all that is music, Tom Petty.  He's been on my Top 5 list since college.  I love John Mayer, Bob Marley, David Gray, Oasis, Lenny Kravitz, Alanis Morissette, Dave Matthews, U2, Bush, Better Than Ezra, Miles Davis and John Coltrane, Idina Menzel, and a million others. 

There is this little refrain at the end of John Mayer song on his Live in LA album which I have played so much the c.d. broke (yes, I realize I'm the only person who still listens to c.d.s).  It's called Wherever You Go.  I could turn the lyrics into somethings spiritual, but it really just makes me think of Bray.  It's such a beautiful refrain.  And you can feel the heat in the song. 

He sings Wherever I go, whatever I do, I wonder where I am in my relationship to you....

It makes me feel romantic even though he is clearly singing about Jennifer Aniston post break up.  It gives me goose bumps.  It makes me want to make out with my husband.  And the thing is, it's true.  Whatever is going on in my life, it really is in relationship to Bray.  Whatever I am doing, it is affected by our relationship. 

So for today, I give you this.  Maybe you're going through a break up and need a good break up song.  Or maybe you just need to make out (or up) with your husband and this will put you in the mood: