I have an abundance. I was overwhelmed by this fact when two things happened: I continued my slow progression through The Hole In The Gospel and read about the plight of the millions without access to water and wondered what my world would look like if every time I needed water I had to hike five miles one way to carry two buckets at a time back to the house; and, when I read numerous comments from Lysa Terkeurst's blog today where she asked women to post their prayer requests so she could pray for the Lord lay across their hearts and make them still.
A word kept circling in my brain: plenitude. It settled in my bones. It's not a word that I use frequently so I looked it up to understand why I couldn't shake it from my soul.
Plenitude is defined by Merriam-Webster as:
1: the quality or state of being full : completeness
2: a great sufficiency : abundance
Synonyms include: abundance, affluence, avalanche, bounteousness, bountifulness, capacity, copiousness, cornucopia, deluge, enough, flood, fruitfulness, full house, fund, good deal, great deal, heaps, loads, lots, luxury, mass, masses, mine, mountains, oodles, opulence, peck, piles, plenteousness, plethora, profusion, prosperity, quantity, stacks, store, sufficiency, torrent, volume, wealth
These words create mind pictures in my head that illustrate the true condition of my life. Despite my personal struggles day to day, I am in "a state of being full." I have an "abundance." My challenges are so inconsequential compared to the woman who wrote about her husband leaving her for another woman, or the woman who posted her home was in foreclosure and any day she will be homeless with her two sons who are old enough to remember this happening, or the woman I read about in Africa who is caring for her numerous grandchildren on less than a dollar a day because her family was decimated by AIDS.
Growing up, my parents used to tell me during challenging financial times that no matter our situation we were blessed compared to many others. But I realize more and more it isn't just the money. It is the security and safety. It is the love. It is the family and friends and housing and opportunities. It is plenitude. I do not deserve it. But I will stop to take the time to be grateful for it. And to try to find opportunities to share with those without an abundance today.
No matter your challenge, stop for a moment to say grace over your plenitude.
Philippians 4 - I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Cathartic
It had been a weird hard week. For a bunch of different reasons. So I took Friday off and cleaned out my junk room. It. Was. Fantastic. I've taken after pictures to share with you but can't believe I didn't take before pictures. Imagine a room which we keep trying to make an extra guest room but it also holds my office, everything that we store for the kids (toys, clothes for the next season, etc.), it serves as our gift closet/wrapping supply room, and it holds extra things from around the house that have been put away "temporarily" while kids are in super destruct mode. So let me paint a picture for you before sharing this pretty astonishing "after" photos.
A 12X12 beige room that used to serve as our second guest room, the masculine one (hence the deer heads). A queen sized mattress on a double bed frame in the center of the room. Stuff piled so high on the bed that you couldn't see the bedding. You could walk about one foot in before walking into "stuff" we were storing without adequate storage bins. A closet overflowing with clothes in the closet, on the floor in boxes of the closet, and things helter-skelter on the shelves, from wedding photos to gift candles (you know the shelves, the extras you keep for when you inevitably forget someone's special day). I started pulling everything out at 7:30 am when our nanny arrived. I took a break at 10 to grab coffee and storage containers at Target and came right back to it. While the kids napped at noon, our nanny helped me tear down the bed move it to the garage. Then I began to assemble all the new storage containers I had acquired and filled trash bags of things in our hall for Goodwill. There were a few new things I piled up to sell to my Mothers' Clubs. I played with the kids for several hours when Maria left at 4:30 until they went to bed at 7:45 and then went right back to it. By the time Bray arrived home at 10:30, the room was spotless (technically I have half a box still to go through but it's not cluttering the space). I did everything from heavy lifting and furniture assembly to radical organization. It was so CATHARTIC. I didn't think. I didn't work. I didn't worry. I just cleaned and organized. I feel like a new person. I'm taking off Tuesday to work on two more rooms - I may not be featured on Hoarders after all.
Here's a few photos to motivate you to fall organizing this weekend - if I can do it with two year old triplets, anyone can:
A 12X12 beige room that used to serve as our second guest room, the masculine one (hence the deer heads). A queen sized mattress on a double bed frame in the center of the room. Stuff piled so high on the bed that you couldn't see the bedding. You could walk about one foot in before walking into "stuff" we were storing without adequate storage bins. A closet overflowing with clothes in the closet, on the floor in boxes of the closet, and things helter-skelter on the shelves, from wedding photos to gift candles (you know the shelves, the extras you keep for when you inevitably forget someone's special day). I started pulling everything out at 7:30 am when our nanny arrived. I took a break at 10 to grab coffee and storage containers at Target and came right back to it. While the kids napped at noon, our nanny helped me tear down the bed move it to the garage. Then I began to assemble all the new storage containers I had acquired and filled trash bags of things in our hall for Goodwill. There were a few new things I piled up to sell to my Mothers' Clubs. I played with the kids for several hours when Maria left at 4:30 until they went to bed at 7:45 and then went right back to it. By the time Bray arrived home at 10:30, the room was spotless (technically I have half a box still to go through but it's not cluttering the space). I did everything from heavy lifting and furniture assembly to radical organization. It was so CATHARTIC. I didn't think. I didn't work. I didn't worry. I just cleaned and organized. I feel like a new person. I'm taking off Tuesday to work on two more rooms - I may not be featured on Hoarders after all.
Here's a few photos to motivate you to fall organizing this weekend - if I can do it with two year old triplets, anyone can:
Looking In From the Hall
The Closet
One of the New Storage Units
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Surrender...
I've written before about how God occasionally beats me over the head with a message because He realizes that subtlety is not always my strong suit. Such a message-beating has been underway this week. And I've been in a battle over what I'm hearing. As a lawyer, whenever I'm in a battle, I use the most persuasive language I can to win.
So the, sometimes one-way, conversation with God has gone something like this: I hear you, really I do, but you're just not up to speed on modern day America, God. You have NO idea what things are like these days. That message you're delivering to me may have been just fine for a mother when there were a bunch of people running around in sandals, no modern-day technology, no universities to get into...but it just does NOT make sense today. Really, we feel very blessed that you've given us these precious gifts, however since you've now entrusted us with them we've got to make some serious coin. These precious children are expensive. There's no way we could make it with less money. They need top notch shoes to make sure that they're developmentally at the peak of possibilities. Of course they have to have all the latest books and toys to help them learn. Plus, they deserve fabulous birthday parties and presents so they are completely assured of how much we love them. Um, have you SEEN the latest tuition schedules for private school? They need to go to the best schools in Houston, starting about now, to make sure they can get into the best college so that they can maximize their potential. What kind of parents would we be if we were just running around trusting you for everything and not holding up our end of the bargain? I do hear what you're saying, but I just wanted to update you on how things work now - what you are proposing is CRAZY.
While I completely believe that God loves me with agape unconditional love, I do think when He sees me running to Him with all my "persuasive arguments" in hand, He must shake His head and say, "Again, Gindi!?!?!" Can't you just hear Him saying (or trying to shout over me), “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [Matthew 6] The translation in The Message translates the last portion of that passage like this, "What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. "
The message I've heard, about four times since Sunday, is this:
"One of Satan’s most brilliant lies is that if you surrender something to God, you’ll receive something less beautiful in return. If you empty your hands, God will place something less amazing in them. You’ll surrender gold and, in return, receive dirt. This is the lie of chasing your dream: That when you let go of your plans and trust God’s, he will call you into a mission that you will hate." (Jonathan Acuff, Stuff Christians Like blog)
"Maybe there's a place in your life that you need to surrender. And you're holding on so tightly you just can't let go. Maybe it's your plans and you have worked them out so carefully and maybe everything is turning out the way you want but something is stirring inside and you know that your plans are getting in the way of God's.....I can't think of a better to place to surrender everything you're holding on to so tightly....let it go, give it to God." (Doug Ferguson, Grace Presbyterian Church sermon)
""When we fail to respond to God's calling, our hearts harden, and He gives us over to what we 'want'." (Traci Baudin, Get A Grip On Life bible study)
"I'm not my own, I've been carried by You, All my life." (Addison Road, Hope Now)
So I'm working on it. I'm terrified to even utter a word like surrender when my plans are so firmly in place. However, a wise friend recently told me that if I felt God calling me to action, instead of praying for God to "make" me act, to pray for God to give me the desire to act. So I'm praying for the desire to surrender, and other than that, I'm going to pipe down for a while and let Him do the talking.
So the, sometimes one-way, conversation with God has gone something like this: I hear you, really I do, but you're just not up to speed on modern day America, God. You have NO idea what things are like these days. That message you're delivering to me may have been just fine for a mother when there were a bunch of people running around in sandals, no modern-day technology, no universities to get into...but it just does NOT make sense today. Really, we feel very blessed that you've given us these precious gifts, however since you've now entrusted us with them we've got to make some serious coin. These precious children are expensive. There's no way we could make it with less money. They need top notch shoes to make sure that they're developmentally at the peak of possibilities. Of course they have to have all the latest books and toys to help them learn. Plus, they deserve fabulous birthday parties and presents so they are completely assured of how much we love them. Um, have you SEEN the latest tuition schedules for private school? They need to go to the best schools in Houston, starting about now, to make sure they can get into the best college so that they can maximize their potential. What kind of parents would we be if we were just running around trusting you for everything and not holding up our end of the bargain? I do hear what you're saying, but I just wanted to update you on how things work now - what you are proposing is CRAZY.
While I completely believe that God loves me with agape unconditional love, I do think when He sees me running to Him with all my "persuasive arguments" in hand, He must shake His head and say, "Again, Gindi!?!?!" Can't you just hear Him saying (or trying to shout over me), “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." [Matthew 6] The translation in The Message translates the last portion of that passage like this, "What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. "
The message I've heard, about four times since Sunday, is this:
"One of Satan’s most brilliant lies is that if you surrender something to God, you’ll receive something less beautiful in return. If you empty your hands, God will place something less amazing in them. You’ll surrender gold and, in return, receive dirt. This is the lie of chasing your dream: That when you let go of your plans and trust God’s, he will call you into a mission that you will hate." (Jonathan Acuff, Stuff Christians Like blog)
"Maybe there's a place in your life that you need to surrender. And you're holding on so tightly you just can't let go. Maybe it's your plans and you have worked them out so carefully and maybe everything is turning out the way you want but something is stirring inside and you know that your plans are getting in the way of God's.....I can't think of a better to place to surrender everything you're holding on to so tightly....let it go, give it to God." (Doug Ferguson, Grace Presbyterian Church sermon)
""When we fail to respond to God's calling, our hearts harden, and He gives us over to what we 'want'." (Traci Baudin, Get A Grip On Life bible study)
"I'm not my own, I've been carried by You, All my life." (Addison Road, Hope Now)
So I'm working on it. I'm terrified to even utter a word like surrender when my plans are so firmly in place. However, a wise friend recently told me that if I felt God calling me to action, instead of praying for God to "make" me act, to pray for God to give me the desire to act. So I'm praying for the desire to surrender, and other than that, I'm going to pipe down for a while and let Him do the talking.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
God Uses Our Story To Tell His Story
That title is not original. It is a carbon copy from the lead bullet in my pastor's message this Sunday. He was preaching from the Great Commission text that is found in Matthew 28. And he said that he was convinced as he studied the text that God uses our individual story to tell His story to the world. To share His message of love and grace.
To illustrate this point, he shared an encounter with Jesus from John 9. I don't know if I had never read this passage before, or it had just never struck me, but boy it hit me this week. In this story, there was a blind man that came into contact with Jesus, and the disciples asked whether or not it was the man or his parents that sinned to cause his blindness. During that period, it was commonly accepted wisdom that any disability or impairment you had was a result of your or your family's sin. But listen to Jesus' response to their question, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." His blindness was not because of sin, but because God was going to use this man's journey to reach others for Him. God's work would be revealed and glorified THROUGH this man's story.
Then my pastor hit a home run on my conviction scale when he shared about his choice to leave our church this month as a result of a clear calling from God. He said: "Everything was turning out just the way we had it planned. And we knew the plans we had for us. And then God interrupted those plans....." He went on to say that his period of wrestling over what to do was not because he didn't trust that God knew best - he did. But, he said, "I just simply didn't want to surrender my plans for His."
Wow. Have you ever been there? Are you there now? I am and have been for a while. Heck, I've been writing about it on and off since I began writing last fall. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. This was his invitation at the end of the sermon, "Maybe there's a place in your life that you need to surrender. And you're holding on so tightly you just can't let go. Maybe it's your plans and you have worked them out so carefully and maybe everything is turning out the way you want but something is stirring inside and you know that your plans are getting in the way of God's.....I can't think of a better to place to surrender everything you're holding on to so tightly, your plans, your guilt, your fear....let it go, give it to God......."
If you think of what God surrendered, His only son, Christ's death on a cross, then surely no matter what we are being asked to do, no matter where we are being asked to go, it's not nearly the surrender that Christ made to give us the hope and promise of eternal life. It's not going to be easy, but I am going to try, Type-A-Super-Planner-Me, to surrender my perfectly laid plans and replace them with His. To allow Him to call me where I'm supposed to go. In order for His story to be revealed through mine.
To illustrate this point, he shared an encounter with Jesus from John 9. I don't know if I had never read this passage before, or it had just never struck me, but boy it hit me this week. In this story, there was a blind man that came into contact with Jesus, and the disciples asked whether or not it was the man or his parents that sinned to cause his blindness. During that period, it was commonly accepted wisdom that any disability or impairment you had was a result of your or your family's sin. But listen to Jesus' response to their question, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." His blindness was not because of sin, but because God was going to use this man's journey to reach others for Him. God's work would be revealed and glorified THROUGH this man's story.
Then my pastor hit a home run on my conviction scale when he shared about his choice to leave our church this month as a result of a clear calling from God. He said: "Everything was turning out just the way we had it planned. And we knew the plans we had for us. And then God interrupted those plans....." He went on to say that his period of wrestling over what to do was not because he didn't trust that God knew best - he did. But, he said, "I just simply didn't want to surrender my plans for His."
Wow. Have you ever been there? Are you there now? I am and have been for a while. Heck, I've been writing about it on and off since I began writing last fall. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. This was his invitation at the end of the sermon, "Maybe there's a place in your life that you need to surrender. And you're holding on so tightly you just can't let go. Maybe it's your plans and you have worked them out so carefully and maybe everything is turning out the way you want but something is stirring inside and you know that your plans are getting in the way of God's.....I can't think of a better to place to surrender everything you're holding on to so tightly, your plans, your guilt, your fear....let it go, give it to God......."
If you think of what God surrendered, His only son, Christ's death on a cross, then surely no matter what we are being asked to do, no matter where we are being asked to go, it's not nearly the surrender that Christ made to give us the hope and promise of eternal life. It's not going to be easy, but I am going to try, Type-A-Super-Planner-Me, to surrender my perfectly laid plans and replace them with His. To allow Him to call me where I'm supposed to go. In order for His story to be revealed through mine.
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Second Birthday Festivities!
Whew! After all of the planning and running around and chasing my tail, the trio turned two without any assistance from me, and the weekend of festivities - from the party Saturday to the school celebration today - went off with a bang accompanied by absolutely gorgeous weather. There were a few pre-party near misses on Saturday: the cupcake picks which I wrote about Thursday arrived Friday afternoon -what a relief, I got the outfits by Friday in time for the party, and the people who had also booked the same park/pavilion space went rushing off to find new party digs since we'd already set up the space when they arrived (I felt terrible for them but was quite relieved that I didn't have to chase down 40 people 1/2 hour before a party to relocate the celebration). The kids loved playing with all their friends at the playground Saturday, and even dug into their cupcakes with relish, and mommy didn't have to spend all day cleaning the house! Yesterday, their actual birthday, was a wonderful day with the five of us hanging out together - we went to church, and then adventured out to the Dewberry Farms pumpkin patch in Brookshire, and topped off the night with dinner outside at a family friendly Mexican restaurant. Everyone was pooped by bedtime. Finally, this morning, Bray and I took the kids to school and walked with them to chapel in their Giraffe crowns (they are the giraffe class and they get to wear crowns on their birthday) where everyone sang happy birthday to them and then returned to their class to pass out the last of the super yummy birthday cupcakes! Since a picture is worth a thousand words, here's the weekend in recap:
The Birthday Party Site (that almost wasn't.....)
The Party Festivities (and yes, Lillie is holding the flame instead of blowing it out)
Birthday Morning
Ready to Go to School and the School Festivities (yes, the boys have runny noses...)
The Birthday Party Site (that almost wasn't.....)
Birthday Morning
Ready to Go to School and the School Festivities (yes, the boys have runny noses...)
Sunday, October 2, 2011
The Second Year Love Letter
It was on this day, two years ago, that God delivered the most surprising, remarkable, beautiful, unfathomable three gifts to Bray and me. I still can't imagine what we did to deserve such a spectacular set of presents on October 2, 2009, but I will forever be grateful. And on this second year celebration, I thought I would begin the tradition of writing a love letter to those little presents (who I know will not always be little).
Dear Sweet S,
You are my heart. You are the most loving and empathetic little human being. You are always there to wrap your arms around my neck and give me a kiss, but you also throw your arms around everyone. Just yesterday you ran back to give the lady who cut your hair a big hug before we left. When your siblings are in distress, you run to them to hug them and comfort them. You are also so ingenious. You can figure anything out. You were the first to crawl out of your bed this year and the first to learn how to open the doors and lock me out of the house. You are the one learning dozens of words at a time now. You are persistent and stick with things until you understand them. You also emphasize cleanliness and are always cleaning up around the house, thank you very much. You are a delight and our home will always be filled with love with you in it. You are a gift. And I hope that one day I can live up to be the mother that you deserve. I love you,
Mommy
Dear L,
You are my joy. Your lightheartedness lights up the room. You laugh and dance and sing and jump and spin. You absolutely love living and you throw your whole heart and body into it. Your lust for life is contagious. You are also very independent. You are so great at doing things yourself. You were the first one to climb up into the highchair alone, the first one to put on your pants alone, the first one to run into school without needing us, and the first one to string two words together. Even though you don't know as many words as your brother, what you tell us, you tell with great drama and emphasis and it's fascinating to listen to even if we're not sure what the story is all about. You are such a treasure to have in this family. We'll always be on an exciting adventure with you as a part of our home and I can't wait to watch it unfold. You are a precious present. I hope that I can be a Godly role model for you as you grow. I love you,
Mommy
Dear W,
You are my love. You have the most sensitive soul. Your tenderness is absolutely breathtaking. When I was sick, you crawled up on the couch and covered me with your blanket. When I was worried, you put your arms around me and patted my back. You are the one that cries the most because you have such deep feeling, but you also are the one that laughs the most. You find life so funny and your laugh sets us all to laughing with you. You love to learn. You were the first one to know all your shapes and your colors and your animals. You could sit in my lap and read books for hours and want to drink up every new piece of information and commit it to memory. We will always be seekers in our home, on a journey to learn and understand more, because of you. You are a matchless prize. I hope that I will be the faithful and tender touchstone in your life that understands and appreciates your deep soul. I love you,
Mommy
Dear Sweet S,
You are my heart. You are the most loving and empathetic little human being. You are always there to wrap your arms around my neck and give me a kiss, but you also throw your arms around everyone. Just yesterday you ran back to give the lady who cut your hair a big hug before we left. When your siblings are in distress, you run to them to hug them and comfort them. You are also so ingenious. You can figure anything out. You were the first to crawl out of your bed this year and the first to learn how to open the doors and lock me out of the house. You are the one learning dozens of words at a time now. You are persistent and stick with things until you understand them. You also emphasize cleanliness and are always cleaning up around the house, thank you very much. You are a delight and our home will always be filled with love with you in it. You are a gift. And I hope that one day I can live up to be the mother that you deserve. I love you,
Mommy
Dear L,
You are my joy. Your lightheartedness lights up the room. You laugh and dance and sing and jump and spin. You absolutely love living and you throw your whole heart and body into it. Your lust for life is contagious. You are also very independent. You are so great at doing things yourself. You were the first one to climb up into the highchair alone, the first one to put on your pants alone, the first one to run into school without needing us, and the first one to string two words together. Even though you don't know as many words as your brother, what you tell us, you tell with great drama and emphasis and it's fascinating to listen to even if we're not sure what the story is all about. You are such a treasure to have in this family. We'll always be on an exciting adventure with you as a part of our home and I can't wait to watch it unfold. You are a precious present. I hope that I can be a Godly role model for you as you grow. I love you,
Mommy
Dear W,
You are my love. You have the most sensitive soul. Your tenderness is absolutely breathtaking. When I was sick, you crawled up on the couch and covered me with your blanket. When I was worried, you put your arms around me and patted my back. You are the one that cries the most because you have such deep feeling, but you also are the one that laughs the most. You find life so funny and your laugh sets us all to laughing with you. You love to learn. You were the first one to know all your shapes and your colors and your animals. You could sit in my lap and read books for hours and want to drink up every new piece of information and commit it to memory. We will always be seekers in our home, on a journey to learn and understand more, because of you. You are a matchless prize. I hope that I will be the faithful and tender touchstone in your life that understands and appreciates your deep soul. I love you,
Mommy
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