Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Four Friendships You Gotta Have
I have recently had some wonderful, fun, uplifting friend experiences. I've written periodically about how this period of working and having young children can be isolating and challenging for those of us used to deep friendships with frequent in-person connections. But over the past week, I had four encounters that rejuvenated my friendships and my spirit. Here's a list of four, very different, types of friendships that I highly recommend:
Number 4: The Couple Friendship.
Bray and I have not experienced this much because our interests are so different, and therefore my girlfriends' husbands don't have a lot in common with him and his friends' wives don't have a lot in common with me. Recently, however, we've made friends with a couple in the neighborhood. We don't see each other much, but they have a child the same age as ours and are dealing with similar issues (interviewing schools, both working, etc.), and we met up with them Saturday night to watch the LSU game (go Tigers!). After five years of marriage, this is a special treat for me to have in my friendship repertoire now!
Number 3: The Old Friendship (not as in age, but as in tenure).
Last weekend, my dear friend and matron-of-honor came down from Fort Worth for a visit with me and the kids while Bray was traveling. It was so much FUN! She's known me through many different phases of my life, over 13 years now, and we have a shorthand in conversations that comes simply from the longevity of our relationship. She and I have rarely seen each other since the babies came, but this is a friendship you can just pick up where you left off. Facebook is fine to keep up with folks at a distance, but nothing can replace an in-person encounter with an old friend. No matter how far you've moved from your old friends, try to find a time once a year just to hang out with them.
Number 2: The Family Friendship.
Friday night we went out to dinner with Bray's brother and his wife and kids. I mentioned this in another blog post because I was just so surprised to find out how much I'd really been missing hanging out with them. With all four adults working, some with travel, it's hard to find time to get together. But there is an easiness that comes from being with family that you can't recreate. You can be TOTALLY yourself and say wacky things and act like a goofball and your kids can freak out and it's all okay. They're family, they CAN'T disown you. The freedom that comes with knowing you're getting to hang out with people that are stuck with you allows you to have a blast without worrying what anyone thinks. This is surely going to go on our priority list as a monthly dinner get together.
Number 1: The Godly Friendship.
I don't know what the four-some equivalent is for tri-fecta but this week has been the "quad"-fecta of friend get together's. Last night was absolutely the cherry on the top! There are two women who have been through some mega spiritual battles with me, and me with them. Additionally, one other woman joined our group a couple of years after our trio began praying together and added such sweetness to our midst. This God Quad of women has seen it all and prayed for it all. Last night, we got together for a long overdue dinner. One of the women I hadn't seen since she had her baby a year ago. The entire two hours was filled with sharing what God had been doing in our lives, and a couple of us, me specifically, came away convicted about an aread in my life that needed to change because of the testimony of my Godly friend. There is nothing you can't do or get through with a Godly woman on your side. Don't let these friendships flounder. They not only are an other-worldly reciprocal support system, they are also a check and balance in your walk with the Lord which is critical if you want to stay traveling down the right path. I walked away from the evening refreshed, encouraged, and ready to make some changes in my life because of what we shared.
I know God rejoices in our friendships - he talks about friends throughout the Bible as do his followers. Take some time to maintain and strengthen the friendships in each different area of your life - it's worth it!
Phillipians 1 - I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart.
I Samuel 20 - David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’”
3 John 3 - To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings.
Number 4: The Couple Friendship.
Bray and I have not experienced this much because our interests are so different, and therefore my girlfriends' husbands don't have a lot in common with him and his friends' wives don't have a lot in common with me. Recently, however, we've made friends with a couple in the neighborhood. We don't see each other much, but they have a child the same age as ours and are dealing with similar issues (interviewing schools, both working, etc.), and we met up with them Saturday night to watch the LSU game (go Tigers!). After five years of marriage, this is a special treat for me to have in my friendship repertoire now!
Number 3: The Old Friendship (not as in age, but as in tenure).
Last weekend, my dear friend and matron-of-honor came down from Fort Worth for a visit with me and the kids while Bray was traveling. It was so much FUN! She's known me through many different phases of my life, over 13 years now, and we have a shorthand in conversations that comes simply from the longevity of our relationship. She and I have rarely seen each other since the babies came, but this is a friendship you can just pick up where you left off. Facebook is fine to keep up with folks at a distance, but nothing can replace an in-person encounter with an old friend. No matter how far you've moved from your old friends, try to find a time once a year just to hang out with them.
Number 2: The Family Friendship.
Friday night we went out to dinner with Bray's brother and his wife and kids. I mentioned this in another blog post because I was just so surprised to find out how much I'd really been missing hanging out with them. With all four adults working, some with travel, it's hard to find time to get together. But there is an easiness that comes from being with family that you can't recreate. You can be TOTALLY yourself and say wacky things and act like a goofball and your kids can freak out and it's all okay. They're family, they CAN'T disown you. The freedom that comes with knowing you're getting to hang out with people that are stuck with you allows you to have a blast without worrying what anyone thinks. This is surely going to go on our priority list as a monthly dinner get together.
Number 1: The Godly Friendship.
I don't know what the four-some equivalent is for tri-fecta but this week has been the "quad"-fecta of friend get together's. Last night was absolutely the cherry on the top! There are two women who have been through some mega spiritual battles with me, and me with them. Additionally, one other woman joined our group a couple of years after our trio began praying together and added such sweetness to our midst. This God Quad of women has seen it all and prayed for it all. Last night, we got together for a long overdue dinner. One of the women I hadn't seen since she had her baby a year ago. The entire two hours was filled with sharing what God had been doing in our lives, and a couple of us, me specifically, came away convicted about an aread in my life that needed to change because of the testimony of my Godly friend. There is nothing you can't do or get through with a Godly woman on your side. Don't let these friendships flounder. They not only are an other-worldly reciprocal support system, they are also a check and balance in your walk with the Lord which is critical if you want to stay traveling down the right path. I walked away from the evening refreshed, encouraged, and ready to make some changes in my life because of what we shared.
I know God rejoices in our friendships - he talks about friends throughout the Bible as do his followers. Take some time to maintain and strengthen the friendships in each different area of your life - it's worth it!
Phillipians 1 - I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart.
I Samuel 20 - David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’”
3 John 3 - To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Day 4, and counting......
So, as you may have read, Larry, Moe & Curly have all three learned how to escape their cribs. The first night, it was novel and somewhat amusing. Particularly the baby's dance of pride. The second night was Chinese water torture. The eldest was the last down at 10:15 pm (from a usual bedtime of 7:45). Because we'd blocked their room door with a pack-n-play (read prior post if you want to know why we can't SHUT the door), the boys were hysterical with grief. Screaming and fit-throwing as you've never seen. One was nearly hyper-ventilating from the crying the other's head was wet with sweat. There's no way you could just LEAVE them.
Last night, I got a fun break. Bray and I rarely get to see his brother and wife who have two young kids so we all got together for dinner at a local, very family friendly, Mexican food restaurant. We had so much fun, split some margaritas and dinner and, remarkably, even with five kids ages one to five, everyone did great. I was so relaxed and ready to tackle night three of the great escape. And it started off seamlessly. Everyone went into their cribs and Bray and I sat in the room until all settled down with blankies and began to rest. He suggested there was not even a need to block off the door because we'd done it, finally, and on only night 3.
Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Not so. They all escaped the moment we left the room, they were just toying with us. And so the game began again. Until 9:50 this time - that's the earliest so far. So.........a very secure gate was installed this morning which led to an absolutely disastrous nap time where the boys cried hysterically again, throwing themselves against the gate, and destroying what was left in the nursery.
I do not know where this leaves us. I do know I have a date with my hubby and a couple friend tonight after the kids go down to watch the LSU game at Ragin Cajun and I'm leaving my mom to deal with it. Before you think I'm terrible, I warned her very descriptively and she still agreed. Maybe she'll have the magic touch. We've still not caved to crib tents. We are going to try lying the mattresses on the floor so they're pseudo-jailed in the cribs. If that fails tonight, the beds get converted tomorrow. And a Facebook friend told me just to grit my teeth and let them cry because the exact same thing happened to her daughter and she stopped after two nights of no attention. We'll see if my stomach is that strong.
I'll keep you posted.........keep your fingers crossed that sleep is in their (and our) future.
(Addendum from Sunday morning: my dear friend's genius suggestion worked - the springs being removed so the mattress would lie flat on the floor has rejailed the trio - here's hoping it buys us six months!)
Last night, I got a fun break. Bray and I rarely get to see his brother and wife who have two young kids so we all got together for dinner at a local, very family friendly, Mexican food restaurant. We had so much fun, split some margaritas and dinner and, remarkably, even with five kids ages one to five, everyone did great. I was so relaxed and ready to tackle night three of the great escape. And it started off seamlessly. Everyone went into their cribs and Bray and I sat in the room until all settled down with blankies and began to rest. He suggested there was not even a need to block off the door because we'd done it, finally, and on only night 3.
Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Not so. They all escaped the moment we left the room, they were just toying with us. And so the game began again. Until 9:50 this time - that's the earliest so far. So.........a very secure gate was installed this morning which led to an absolutely disastrous nap time where the boys cried hysterically again, throwing themselves against the gate, and destroying what was left in the nursery.
I do not know where this leaves us. I do know I have a date with my hubby and a couple friend tonight after the kids go down to watch the LSU game at Ragin Cajun and I'm leaving my mom to deal with it. Before you think I'm terrible, I warned her very descriptively and she still agreed. Maybe she'll have the magic touch. We've still not caved to crib tents. We are going to try lying the mattresses on the floor so they're pseudo-jailed in the cribs. If that fails tonight, the beds get converted tomorrow. And a Facebook friend told me just to grit my teeth and let them cry because the exact same thing happened to her daughter and she stopped after two nights of no attention. We'll see if my stomach is that strong.
I'll keep you posted.........keep your fingers crossed that sleep is in their (and our) future.
(Addendum from Sunday morning: my dear friend's genius suggestion worked - the springs being removed so the mattress would lie flat on the floor has rejailed the trio - here's hoping it buys us six months!)
Friday, November 4, 2011
Halloween, 3.0.
Our first Halloween was spent in the NICU. They wore "boo" hats.
Our second Halloween the kiddos weren't yet walking around. They were Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet.
Our third Halloween, they were not only walking, but running, and I'm in love with all of the Halloween events having bouncy houses. These are the best invention ever. And the little lady is OBSESSED. She jumps twice, then kicks her feet up and lands with a big "boom" on her bottom. Then she laughs, hops up, and does it all over again with great gusto. They were a horse, cow and a rabbit because they are in love with farm animals (and little bit is in love with anything that hops). Here's the highlights:
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Bedlam (literally)
Last night, at my house, there was bedlam. Literally: bed. lam. Meaning everyone learned how to escape from their cribs. As you may recall, the eldest had already figured out this skill until we turned the bed around and trapped him in on all sides (in front of him was the back of the crib which is very high, to two sides were wall, and the final side was the high side of little lady's crib). This had been successful for a few months. Until the baby just learned to crawl out of his crib. This motivated the eldest to SCALE the high side and drop down outside. So upon returning to my house last night from an overnight trip, I rejoiced in having arrived in time to tuck them in bed. Little did I know that I would tuck them in again, and again, and again. I lost count. But from 7:45 to 10 (that's right, 10 pm!), we were putting them back in bed. I sat in their room and sang songs to keep them in the crib, I rocked them, I cuddled them with their animals, but to no avail. The second I stopped, tried to tiptoe out of the room, out they came, pell-mell, with the baby doing this hysterical white man dance exhibiting great joy and pride at his accomplishment.
IN ADDITION, Bray came up with the genius idea of shutting their door to keep them in the room. I was hesitant because they had never had that door closed and instead thought we should relocate one of our child-proofing gates to their door frame. But that would have taken a fair amount of work at 9 pm at night. So upon shutting the door we were met with (a) hysterical sobbing and screaming, mainly from the little lady who I believe is teething again and in a bad mood, and (b) a LOCKED door. Yes, they turned the doorknob lock and locked themselves in. So then we're on the ground unscrewing the doorknob from the door so we can get to the inner workings of the door and extricate them from their imprisoned status (dad wasn't nearly as frantic about the door locking situation as mom, I was ready to break into their window so frantic was I).
So tonight the gate goes up, and this weekend the bed's get converted to toddler beds, and you get to experience what I'm sure will be a series of stories on the bedlam that ensues...........
IN ADDITION, Bray came up with the genius idea of shutting their door to keep them in the room. I was hesitant because they had never had that door closed and instead thought we should relocate one of our child-proofing gates to their door frame. But that would have taken a fair amount of work at 9 pm at night. So upon shutting the door we were met with (a) hysterical sobbing and screaming, mainly from the little lady who I believe is teething again and in a bad mood, and (b) a LOCKED door. Yes, they turned the doorknob lock and locked themselves in. So then we're on the ground unscrewing the doorknob from the door so we can get to the inner workings of the door and extricate them from their imprisoned status (dad wasn't nearly as frantic about the door locking situation as mom, I was ready to break into their window so frantic was I).
So tonight the gate goes up, and this weekend the bed's get converted to toddler beds, and you get to experience what I'm sure will be a series of stories on the bedlam that ensues...........
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The Will of God
I've found myself in a position recently looking afresh at how to "know" the will of God. I realize there's no thunderbolt that will come from the heavens to zap the wrong choice, but I wanted a new perspective on how to pray about this particular issue. Everything I found in my research, from scripture to scholars, directed me to do one thing first - read/study/meditate on God's word. Simply praying for clarity in a choice, or for God to open or close a door, would not do. Rather, I had to be grounded in the knowledge of Him to be able to have the wisdom to know what He would have me do. Among the words I found to give me counsel were these, and I share them today in case you too are having to make a decision or seeking clarity about a situation you are in:
Psalm 119 - Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. Your commands are always with me and make me wiser than my enemies. I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts. I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word...I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
Romans 12 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Proverbs 3 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Matthew 6 - So do not worry...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Romans 8 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Hebrews 10 - You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
2 Corinthians 8 - For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us.
So if you're at a fork in the road, join me in spending some time meditating on scripture, praying and relying on the Spirit to intercede, and persevering and giving yourself to the Lord - I'm confident that we'll find peace in a decision if we take these steps to prepare.
Psalm 119 - Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. Your commands are always with me and make me wiser than my enemies. I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts. I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word...I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
Romans 12 - Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Proverbs 3 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Matthew 6 - So do not worry...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Romans 8 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Hebrews 10 - You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
2 Corinthians 8 - For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own, they urgently pleaded with us for the privilege of sharing in this service to the Lord’s people. And they exceeded our expectations: They gave themselves first of all to the Lord, and then by the will of God also to us.
So if you're at a fork in the road, join me in spending some time meditating on scripture, praying and relying on the Spirit to intercede, and persevering and giving yourself to the Lord - I'm confident that we'll find peace in a decision if we take these steps to prepare.
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