I'm so excited to have my dear friend and Christian writer, Amy Vogel, guest post today:
Dictionary.com defines a myth as: a traditional or legendary story, with or without a natural explanation; or any invented story, idea, or concept; or an unproved or false collective belief.
If I had a nickel for every time I compared myself to a collective belief about how I should be as a Mom – I’d have enough to pay for Kim Kardashian’s wedding and divorce! There are some seriously dark thoughts that lurk in my Mom brain – standards I cannot compete with or live up to. I couldn’t do it as a full-time working or now that I am full-time at home.
Three years ago, I found myself face down on the floor. I had put myself there after yet another horrific morning of fits, curses and gnashing of teeth. You might think the culprit was either my (then) 5 year old or 2 year old, but sadly no. I was the one who needed the time out.
In that moment I realized I couldn’t live on what I believed about myself as a Mom because I didn’t know who I was. I found the answer in Proverbs 3:4-6, which started me on my way. It was then that The Lord started to dig up the lies so rooted in my brain so He could burn them up like the chaff they are. But they are stubborn boogers. They don’t want to come up. These are the ones that get me the most:
1. I am all alone in this.
2. Other Moms don’t yell or fuss or get frustrated with their kids like I do.
3. I don’t love my kids enough.
4. I didn’t think it would be this hard.
5. One day, being a Mom will be easier.
That day and every day since, I make a choice. I could let these myths fester or I could let God turn me into the Mommy He meant for me to be (and that my girls deserve). I could keep on being the unpleasant, foolish person crying into the tile or I could start to act like the victor He said I was.
We all have to make that choice. We have to lay these burdens down or they will eat us alive.
When I prayed change into the Mommy my girls needed (which is a dangerous prayer by the way!), God had no intention of making me perfect or wiping my memory. He wanted to change how I thought. He used my brokenness to show me how to fight back. You see, we can’t just take the garbage out, we have to put good back in.
And since there are 5 myths, I’ve found 5 ways to counteract their poisonous effects.
1. Listen to God’s Word - For overcoming Myths 1-5 (Hebrews 4: 12, 2 Tim. 2: 9)
2. Listen to your Godly Friends - For overcoming Myths 2, 3 & 4 (Eccles. 4: 9-10)
3. Listen to your Mentors - For overcoming Myths 4 & 5 (2 Timothy)
4. Listen to your Husband - For overcoming Myths 1, 3 & 4 (The biblical equivalent of date night – Mark 10: 8-9)
5. Listen to your children - For overcoming Myths 3 & 5 (You don’t have to wait till for your “crown of the aged,” Proverbs 17:6, to enjoy your children!)
When we overcome these myths – through God’s power – there is freedom to know Him, your husband, your children – YOURSELF – in ways that will bring you unending joy.
To hear more about Amy's journey, follow her on http://jesusbling.blogspot.com/.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Rock-A-Bye
It seems as though everyone has come down with something. Everywhere I turn, a friend or family member or co-worker is ill. Unfortunately, that has not passed over our house. While each of the kids has had a bit of a cold, the little lady has been the sickest. It came as a complete surprise because she's usually the healthiest. But boy has she been sick. It's apparently not quite pneumonia but a nasty case of bronchitis and some other respiratory infection so they're treating it like you would pneumonia with two antibiotics and a breathing treatment.
As a result, she's cried a lot the past few days. The worst is when she wakes up crying at night. She sounds terribly forelorn and, of course, sick. So the past couple of nights I get up and rock her. Normally if we have a child crying in the middle of the night we won't pick them up because it makes it worse so we just pat them on the back and tuck them back in. But not so when they're sick. I get up and rock them back to sleep in the nursery.
It's been a while since I've done this and it's been precious time. Even at 2 a.m., I have treasured our rocking time. With her arms wrapped around my neck and her head nestled in my neck, I feel like I have a baby again. And I am rapidly recognizing that they're not babies anymore. So I've rocked her long after she's fallen back to sleep. I've held her and prayed over her and thanked God for her. I've treasured the moments I have left to rock-a-bye my baby. Because I know, all too soon, that rock-a-bye will turn into bye-bye and I will hold these moments in my memory as precious keepsakes forever.
As a result, she's cried a lot the past few days. The worst is when she wakes up crying at night. She sounds terribly forelorn and, of course, sick. So the past couple of nights I get up and rock her. Normally if we have a child crying in the middle of the night we won't pick them up because it makes it worse so we just pat them on the back and tuck them back in. But not so when they're sick. I get up and rock them back to sleep in the nursery.
It's been a while since I've done this and it's been precious time. Even at 2 a.m., I have treasured our rocking time. With her arms wrapped around my neck and her head nestled in my neck, I feel like I have a baby again. And I am rapidly recognizing that they're not babies anymore. So I've rocked her long after she's fallen back to sleep. I've held her and prayed over her and thanked God for her. I've treasured the moments I have left to rock-a-bye my baby. Because I know, all too soon, that rock-a-bye will turn into bye-bye and I will hold these moments in my memory as precious keepsakes forever.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Four Friendships You Gotta Have
I have recently had some wonderful, fun, uplifting friend experiences. I've written periodically about how this period of working and having young children can be isolating and challenging for those of us used to deep friendships with frequent in-person connections. But over the past week, I had four encounters that rejuvenated my friendships and my spirit. Here's a list of four, very different, types of friendships that I highly recommend:
Number 4: The Couple Friendship.
Bray and I have not experienced this much because our interests are so different, and therefore my girlfriends' husbands don't have a lot in common with him and his friends' wives don't have a lot in common with me. Recently, however, we've made friends with a couple in the neighborhood. We don't see each other much, but they have a child the same age as ours and are dealing with similar issues (interviewing schools, both working, etc.), and we met up with them Saturday night to watch the LSU game (go Tigers!). After five years of marriage, this is a special treat for me to have in my friendship repertoire now!
Number 3: The Old Friendship (not as in age, but as in tenure).
Last weekend, my dear friend and matron-of-honor came down from Fort Worth for a visit with me and the kids while Bray was traveling. It was so much FUN! She's known me through many different phases of my life, over 13 years now, and we have a shorthand in conversations that comes simply from the longevity of our relationship. She and I have rarely seen each other since the babies came, but this is a friendship you can just pick up where you left off. Facebook is fine to keep up with folks at a distance, but nothing can replace an in-person encounter with an old friend. No matter how far you've moved from your old friends, try to find a time once a year just to hang out with them.
Number 2: The Family Friendship.
Friday night we went out to dinner with Bray's brother and his wife and kids. I mentioned this in another blog post because I was just so surprised to find out how much I'd really been missing hanging out with them. With all four adults working, some with travel, it's hard to find time to get together. But there is an easiness that comes from being with family that you can't recreate. You can be TOTALLY yourself and say wacky things and act like a goofball and your kids can freak out and it's all okay. They're family, they CAN'T disown you. The freedom that comes with knowing you're getting to hang out with people that are stuck with you allows you to have a blast without worrying what anyone thinks. This is surely going to go on our priority list as a monthly dinner get together.
Number 1: The Godly Friendship.
I don't know what the four-some equivalent is for tri-fecta but this week has been the "quad"-fecta of friend get together's. Last night was absolutely the cherry on the top! There are two women who have been through some mega spiritual battles with me, and me with them. Additionally, one other woman joined our group a couple of years after our trio began praying together and added such sweetness to our midst. This God Quad of women has seen it all and prayed for it all. Last night, we got together for a long overdue dinner. One of the women I hadn't seen since she had her baby a year ago. The entire two hours was filled with sharing what God had been doing in our lives, and a couple of us, me specifically, came away convicted about an aread in my life that needed to change because of the testimony of my Godly friend. There is nothing you can't do or get through with a Godly woman on your side. Don't let these friendships flounder. They not only are an other-worldly reciprocal support system, they are also a check and balance in your walk with the Lord which is critical if you want to stay traveling down the right path. I walked away from the evening refreshed, encouraged, and ready to make some changes in my life because of what we shared.
I know God rejoices in our friendships - he talks about friends throughout the Bible as do his followers. Take some time to maintain and strengthen the friendships in each different area of your life - it's worth it!
Phillipians 1 - I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart.
I Samuel 20 - David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’”
3 John 3 - To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings.
Number 4: The Couple Friendship.
Bray and I have not experienced this much because our interests are so different, and therefore my girlfriends' husbands don't have a lot in common with him and his friends' wives don't have a lot in common with me. Recently, however, we've made friends with a couple in the neighborhood. We don't see each other much, but they have a child the same age as ours and are dealing with similar issues (interviewing schools, both working, etc.), and we met up with them Saturday night to watch the LSU game (go Tigers!). After five years of marriage, this is a special treat for me to have in my friendship repertoire now!
Number 3: The Old Friendship (not as in age, but as in tenure).
Last weekend, my dear friend and matron-of-honor came down from Fort Worth for a visit with me and the kids while Bray was traveling. It was so much FUN! She's known me through many different phases of my life, over 13 years now, and we have a shorthand in conversations that comes simply from the longevity of our relationship. She and I have rarely seen each other since the babies came, but this is a friendship you can just pick up where you left off. Facebook is fine to keep up with folks at a distance, but nothing can replace an in-person encounter with an old friend. No matter how far you've moved from your old friends, try to find a time once a year just to hang out with them.
Number 2: The Family Friendship.
Friday night we went out to dinner with Bray's brother and his wife and kids. I mentioned this in another blog post because I was just so surprised to find out how much I'd really been missing hanging out with them. With all four adults working, some with travel, it's hard to find time to get together. But there is an easiness that comes from being with family that you can't recreate. You can be TOTALLY yourself and say wacky things and act like a goofball and your kids can freak out and it's all okay. They're family, they CAN'T disown you. The freedom that comes with knowing you're getting to hang out with people that are stuck with you allows you to have a blast without worrying what anyone thinks. This is surely going to go on our priority list as a monthly dinner get together.
Number 1: The Godly Friendship.
I don't know what the four-some equivalent is for tri-fecta but this week has been the "quad"-fecta of friend get together's. Last night was absolutely the cherry on the top! There are two women who have been through some mega spiritual battles with me, and me with them. Additionally, one other woman joined our group a couple of years after our trio began praying together and added such sweetness to our midst. This God Quad of women has seen it all and prayed for it all. Last night, we got together for a long overdue dinner. One of the women I hadn't seen since she had her baby a year ago. The entire two hours was filled with sharing what God had been doing in our lives, and a couple of us, me specifically, came away convicted about an aread in my life that needed to change because of the testimony of my Godly friend. There is nothing you can't do or get through with a Godly woman on your side. Don't let these friendships flounder. They not only are an other-worldly reciprocal support system, they are also a check and balance in your walk with the Lord which is critical if you want to stay traveling down the right path. I walked away from the evening refreshed, encouraged, and ready to make some changes in my life because of what we shared.
I know God rejoices in our friendships - he talks about friends throughout the Bible as do his followers. Take some time to maintain and strengthen the friendships in each different area of your life - it's worth it!
Phillipians 1 - I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart.
I Samuel 20 - David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’”
3 John 3 - To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Day 4, and counting......
So, as you may have read, Larry, Moe & Curly have all three learned how to escape their cribs. The first night, it was novel and somewhat amusing. Particularly the baby's dance of pride. The second night was Chinese water torture. The eldest was the last down at 10:15 pm (from a usual bedtime of 7:45). Because we'd blocked their room door with a pack-n-play (read prior post if you want to know why we can't SHUT the door), the boys were hysterical with grief. Screaming and fit-throwing as you've never seen. One was nearly hyper-ventilating from the crying the other's head was wet with sweat. There's no way you could just LEAVE them.
Last night, I got a fun break. Bray and I rarely get to see his brother and wife who have two young kids so we all got together for dinner at a local, very family friendly, Mexican food restaurant. We had so much fun, split some margaritas and dinner and, remarkably, even with five kids ages one to five, everyone did great. I was so relaxed and ready to tackle night three of the great escape. And it started off seamlessly. Everyone went into their cribs and Bray and I sat in the room until all settled down with blankies and began to rest. He suggested there was not even a need to block off the door because we'd done it, finally, and on only night 3.
Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Not so. They all escaped the moment we left the room, they were just toying with us. And so the game began again. Until 9:50 this time - that's the earliest so far. So.........a very secure gate was installed this morning which led to an absolutely disastrous nap time where the boys cried hysterically again, throwing themselves against the gate, and destroying what was left in the nursery.
I do not know where this leaves us. I do know I have a date with my hubby and a couple friend tonight after the kids go down to watch the LSU game at Ragin Cajun and I'm leaving my mom to deal with it. Before you think I'm terrible, I warned her very descriptively and she still agreed. Maybe she'll have the magic touch. We've still not caved to crib tents. We are going to try lying the mattresses on the floor so they're pseudo-jailed in the cribs. If that fails tonight, the beds get converted tomorrow. And a Facebook friend told me just to grit my teeth and let them cry because the exact same thing happened to her daughter and she stopped after two nights of no attention. We'll see if my stomach is that strong.
I'll keep you posted.........keep your fingers crossed that sleep is in their (and our) future.
(Addendum from Sunday morning: my dear friend's genius suggestion worked - the springs being removed so the mattress would lie flat on the floor has rejailed the trio - here's hoping it buys us six months!)
Last night, I got a fun break. Bray and I rarely get to see his brother and wife who have two young kids so we all got together for dinner at a local, very family friendly, Mexican food restaurant. We had so much fun, split some margaritas and dinner and, remarkably, even with five kids ages one to five, everyone did great. I was so relaxed and ready to tackle night three of the great escape. And it started off seamlessly. Everyone went into their cribs and Bray and I sat in the room until all settled down with blankies and began to rest. He suggested there was not even a need to block off the door because we'd done it, finally, and on only night 3.
Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Not so. They all escaped the moment we left the room, they were just toying with us. And so the game began again. Until 9:50 this time - that's the earliest so far. So.........a very secure gate was installed this morning which led to an absolutely disastrous nap time where the boys cried hysterically again, throwing themselves against the gate, and destroying what was left in the nursery.
I do not know where this leaves us. I do know I have a date with my hubby and a couple friend tonight after the kids go down to watch the LSU game at Ragin Cajun and I'm leaving my mom to deal with it. Before you think I'm terrible, I warned her very descriptively and she still agreed. Maybe she'll have the magic touch. We've still not caved to crib tents. We are going to try lying the mattresses on the floor so they're pseudo-jailed in the cribs. If that fails tonight, the beds get converted tomorrow. And a Facebook friend told me just to grit my teeth and let them cry because the exact same thing happened to her daughter and she stopped after two nights of no attention. We'll see if my stomach is that strong.
I'll keep you posted.........keep your fingers crossed that sleep is in their (and our) future.
(Addendum from Sunday morning: my dear friend's genius suggestion worked - the springs being removed so the mattress would lie flat on the floor has rejailed the trio - here's hoping it buys us six months!)
Friday, November 4, 2011
Halloween, 3.0.
Our first Halloween was spent in the NICU. They wore "boo" hats.
Our second Halloween the kiddos weren't yet walking around. They were Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet.
Our third Halloween, they were not only walking, but running, and I'm in love with all of the Halloween events having bouncy houses. These are the best invention ever. And the little lady is OBSESSED. She jumps twice, then kicks her feet up and lands with a big "boom" on her bottom. Then she laughs, hops up, and does it all over again with great gusto. They were a horse, cow and a rabbit because they are in love with farm animals (and little bit is in love with anything that hops). Here's the highlights:
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Bedlam (literally)
Last night, at my house, there was bedlam. Literally: bed. lam. Meaning everyone learned how to escape from their cribs. As you may recall, the eldest had already figured out this skill until we turned the bed around and trapped him in on all sides (in front of him was the back of the crib which is very high, to two sides were wall, and the final side was the high side of little lady's crib). This had been successful for a few months. Until the baby just learned to crawl out of his crib. This motivated the eldest to SCALE the high side and drop down outside. So upon returning to my house last night from an overnight trip, I rejoiced in having arrived in time to tuck them in bed. Little did I know that I would tuck them in again, and again, and again. I lost count. But from 7:45 to 10 (that's right, 10 pm!), we were putting them back in bed. I sat in their room and sang songs to keep them in the crib, I rocked them, I cuddled them with their animals, but to no avail. The second I stopped, tried to tiptoe out of the room, out they came, pell-mell, with the baby doing this hysterical white man dance exhibiting great joy and pride at his accomplishment.
IN ADDITION, Bray came up with the genius idea of shutting their door to keep them in the room. I was hesitant because they had never had that door closed and instead thought we should relocate one of our child-proofing gates to their door frame. But that would have taken a fair amount of work at 9 pm at night. So upon shutting the door we were met with (a) hysterical sobbing and screaming, mainly from the little lady who I believe is teething again and in a bad mood, and (b) a LOCKED door. Yes, they turned the doorknob lock and locked themselves in. So then we're on the ground unscrewing the doorknob from the door so we can get to the inner workings of the door and extricate them from their imprisoned status (dad wasn't nearly as frantic about the door locking situation as mom, I was ready to break into their window so frantic was I).
So tonight the gate goes up, and this weekend the bed's get converted to toddler beds, and you get to experience what I'm sure will be a series of stories on the bedlam that ensues...........
IN ADDITION, Bray came up with the genius idea of shutting their door to keep them in the room. I was hesitant because they had never had that door closed and instead thought we should relocate one of our child-proofing gates to their door frame. But that would have taken a fair amount of work at 9 pm at night. So upon shutting the door we were met with (a) hysterical sobbing and screaming, mainly from the little lady who I believe is teething again and in a bad mood, and (b) a LOCKED door. Yes, they turned the doorknob lock and locked themselves in. So then we're on the ground unscrewing the doorknob from the door so we can get to the inner workings of the door and extricate them from their imprisoned status (dad wasn't nearly as frantic about the door locking situation as mom, I was ready to break into their window so frantic was I).
So tonight the gate goes up, and this weekend the bed's get converted to toddler beds, and you get to experience what I'm sure will be a series of stories on the bedlam that ensues...........
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