Thursday, December 29, 2011

Time to Think

I believe the saying that money can't buy you happiness.  But money can buy you some time in the Tranquility Room at the Trellis Spa.  I spent yesterday morning at one of my favorite spas in town, but one I've not been to since having the kids because it's just too pricey.  However, a group of my girlfriends were getting together to see a friend in from China, and I was off of work, so I splurged on a massage and pedicure.  While they were both fabulous, as was the time with these sweet girls, probably the most amazing part of the day was my time in the Tranquility Room.

Can I set the stage for you?  It's a small room.  It comfortably seats four chaise loungers, a fireplace and two small waterfalls, but that's it.  It's completely quiet and free of any electronic devices (they're banned) or clocks.  The chaises are made out of chenille and nearly custom fitted for lounging ladies complete with comfy throw to keep your toes warm when you kick off your sandals.  The lighting is dim - bright enough to see a pen on paper but no brighter.  The backside of the stone fireplace has a fulsome fire (the front side of the fireplace faces into the waiting room), flames which lick but never devour the logs.  The two stone waterfalls are loud enough to deliver a trickling water white noise into the space without being intrusive.  It is the perfect peaceful retreat.  And it gave me time to think.  Time to think for a long period without interruption which has been completely lacking from my current day-to-day existence.   

I've always loved this little spot, but never more so than at this moment in my life.  I've been in a bit of a ditch.  When I started penning words that came to my mind about my current emotional state (I begged the spa staff for a paper and pen because I started getting so many writing ideas in my head that I had to jot them down immediately or lose them forever), among the first were unhappy, restless and, among other harsh words, self-involved.  I tried to identify all of the conditions that led to these emotions.  I identified some, certainly, but not all of them.  Much of it is reflective of the fact that, despite my earthly best efforts, I'm not where I should be in my walk with the Lord.  This thinking period led me down a dozen rabbit trails and filled two sheets of notebook paper, front and back, with writing ideas and self-assessments in the ten minutes that followed all of this mental chewing. 

Here's the thing.  The room, it's artificial.  It isn't real.  It's contrived.  The perfect combination of warmth from the fire and blanket paired with the exact right degree of air conditioning, the constant trickling of waterfalls, a bottomless cup of tea or glass of wine, and the "tranquility" to ponder is an expensive artifice.  But it did give me time to think.  Time I realize now was long overdue.  And it gave me a lot of writing material which you'll see in the days to come.  Most importantly, it led me to rethink how I got to this current state and what needs to happen to change it.  It's mostly God stuff, but some of it is me stuff, so I'd better get to work.

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